Why are people who like nice things considered snobs?

[jintyjill]

From conversations I’ve had this Christmas with family, apparently the following makes you a snob:

1. Preferring £8 a bottle wine to a £4 a bottle wine.
2. Choosing to work in a profession.
3. Choosing to live in London rather than the ex-mining village you were born in.
4. Liking holidays overseas that are not on the Costa Del Sol.
5. Shopping at Ocado/M&S Food/ Sainsburys rather than Tesco or Aldi.
6. Investing in good quality clothing rather than lots of similar Marks & Spencers.

@Allwelcone why does the OP need to be more humble exactly??

I think you can like nice things but don't look down on others that don't. That's the thing.

Personally I think it’s fine to like nice things.

for me snobbish-ness isn't simply liking or enjoying expensive, high-end items or lifestyle. It's the sneering at people who are unable to access those things, or don't see value in them so choose cheaper options. In the wine example, nothing wrong choosing a £8 bottle, but there is something nasty and snobby about turning your nose up at at £4 option and making someone feel lesser for making that choice - "oh I couldn't drink that, it's simply ghastly..." "surely you can't actually enjoy it..."

Ooh where's the £4 bottle of wine?

What’s wrong with markies clothes?? I know they’re not all great but lots of it is very good.

100% this

There’s a selection in Tesco for under £4

HTH.

@TheGhostOfTheOpera I think OP needs to be more humble because what she has gained in order for her to even know what a more expensive bottle of wine tastes like, has been gained through good fortune. Yes probably with a dollop of grit, talent and hard work but even having those attributes or the ability to work hard is a product of fortune amd circumstance.

Not everyone has had those chances in life sadly and can feel resentful when those who do rub it in their faces.

OP you're probably not intending to parade it but that is what I mean by humble up, tread carefully and sensitively here.

Nice things doesn't equal expensive. Cheaper things can be just as good quality as more expensive things.

It sounds like a scene from a sit com.
Northern rellie sitting in a tin bath and OP comes in wearing a sable sipping champagne.

Apparently eating kale, just like my dockworker grandad used to grow on his allotment, makes me posh 🙄

@puncheur kale? Kale? In my day....

Life is so effing unfair. Sad how home growing and probably home cooking skills have been lost amd even eating fresh veg is now counted as being posh.

Exactly this

There's nothing wrong with living what you like.

It's the putting down of what you perceive to be the alternative

It's about you growing away from them and rejecting/belittling (as they see it) their values. If you choose better quality/different because you can afford , that is your choice. If they can't afford it, they don't have that choice. That's hard for people to accept, it makes them feel substandard or inadequate, it shouldn't but it does. Even if they do have the choice, their priorities are clearly different and they see you as rejecting them.

It exists. Google “cheap wine”. Iceland, Sainsbury’s, asda, Morrisons all seem to have wine under £4.

I dont understand your post because the things you list as nice are not what I would consider nice. For example, I would far rather live in the countryside and would never choose London, however that's merely a preference rather than anything to do with being snobby or not. I also don't believe you always have to spend more to get something that is better quality.

I don't think they are in general. Sounds like a you think you are better than your family and that's what they pick up on.

Sorry off topic but has anyone tried the 4 quid wines ? Are they any good ? Asking for a friend

I think anybody who uses the phrase 'I like nice things' is embarrassing themselves.

My mum loves a cheap zinfandel Rose wine, I've got her a couple of bottles to go with her dinner tomorrow - £4.25 each. Too sweet for me!

@ancientnames

This is exactly the position dh is in. His mum got married at 18 had a couple of kids and then went wtf have I done. I don't want to work in the post office my dad has worked in for his whole life or being married to this man (perfectly nice but content with his lot). She 'escaped' and got a degree and a high powered career and as a result dh and bil both did similar while the rest of the (very) extended family live within a few miles of each other in a northern town.

That would all be fine but there is very much an attitude of 'so we're not good enough for you any more' with some of them. Sometimes this is expressed overtly out loud. Some times more subtly. We think dh dad is a bit embarrassed by his simple life and always has excuse not to have us round, it makes dh very sad. He's still in the weird position of being greatful he's had a different life and opportunity but also angry that his mum leaving effectively made him an outsider to his own family.

I'm sure this isn't a universal experience. There is a particularly pernicious...gene or pattern of thinking where the idea of 'battering' your self is insulting to your family or class or whatever. Dh has quoted things that were said to him as a child. 'what are you reading THAT for?' Why bother with a school' etc like something out of Roal Dhal. He got the most GCSEs out of anyone in his school and not one person congratulated him. Its a miracle he made something out himself really.