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Original poster

Just shouted and sworn at my baby :(

60 replies

Christmasconcerts · 21/12/2023 05:33

She woke at 1, fed her and that was fine. Then she woke at 4. Her nappy had leaked so changed her and just took her in bed with me but she wouldn’t settle, making those shouty noises that aren’t crying exactly but noisy and worried she’d wake other child, squirming and rolling around and I do obviously know it wasn’t aimed at me but kicking, grabbing me, scratching, hair pulling. Two hours of trying to shush her and I just lost it.

DH has her now but I feel horrible. I can’t even sleep as so worked up :(

OP posts:
SouthLondonMum22 · 21/12/2023 12:44

LondonLass91 · 21/12/2023 10:07

Good for you OP, you sound like a lovely mum, we all lose it sometimes..sleep deprivation is awful...x ps don't sleep train, they learn not to cry because no one comes. I worked in Child Services for many years and the neglected kids never cried (i think leaving a baby to cry is neglect)..

Show quote history

That isn't how every single sleep training method works though. There are so many methods, plenty which involve not leaving baby to cry at all.

SouthLondonMum22 · 21/12/2023 12:45

Don't beat yourself up, OP. Just work on solutions to try and prevent it from happening in the future such as giving yourself a time limit before waking DH, splitting the nights with DH etc.

kimchio · 21/12/2023 12:46

A handy hint I read on here. If you feel yourself getting stressed put baby safe and have a glass of water. There is something about the drinking I can't remember what it was though.

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LonelynSad · 21/12/2023 18:30

I agree with other posters that this is sleep deprivation and I shouted at my baby once too and felt awful ever since. However I do wonder what the response would be if an op said that her DH had done this? They'd be telling her to keep the baby away from him

LonelynSad · 21/12/2023 18:39

Just to clarify I am categorically not saying that OP should be kept away from her baby! In case that wasn't clear....

Original poster
Christmasconcerts · 21/12/2023 18:41

Fair enough @LonelynSad but what are you saying?

OP posts:
Sleepygrumpyandnothappy · 21/12/2023 19:45

It’s not a subtle point. She is saying that if a woman posted that her male partner had shouted at their baby, people would not jump in to say it’s ok, it happens.

Original poster
Christmasconcerts · 21/12/2023 19:48

Yes, but what is that hoping to achieve here? As part of a wider discussion about men and women maybe but that’s not what the thread is about.

OP posts:
Universalsnail · 21/12/2023 19:53

Don't beat yourself up about it. You are by far not the only mum who has done this. Your baby will be fine. You are not a bad Mum. A bad Mum wouldn't feel guilty about it. Sleep deprivation is horrendous.

Can you DH step in before it gets to that point in future? How is your mood in general? Shouting at my baby was a real indicator that I was struggling with PND. If that feels like you can get help and it'll be ok

Original poster
Christmasconcerts · 21/12/2023 19:55

I think I’m generally ok thanks, but I definitely need to recognise when I’m struggling. The problem is I don’t realise I’m losing it until I snap. I think I was just worried she’d wake the older one (he woke at 5 for ages and I swear I still have PTSD from that!)

OP posts:
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