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Original poster

Just shouted and sworn at my baby :(

60 replies

Christmasconcerts · 21/12/2023 05:33

She woke at 1, fed her and that was fine. Then she woke at 4. Her nappy had leaked so changed her and just took her in bed with me but she wouldn’t settle, making those shouty noises that aren’t crying exactly but noisy and worried she’d wake other child, squirming and rolling around and I do obviously know it wasn’t aimed at me but kicking, grabbing me, scratching, hair pulling. Two hours of trying to shush her and I just lost it.

DH has her now but I feel horrible. I can’t even sleep as so worked up :(

OP posts:
onthefarmwithwellies · 21/12/2023 09:49

Find me a mum that hasn't done this. Don't beat yourself up x

TitaniasAss · 21/12/2023 09:49

Jellycats4life · 21/12/2023 09:04

This.

All the parents muttering that is “wasn’t ideal” just need to bite their tongues really. Two hours of being kept awake, kicking and hair pulling would test the patience of a saint. Baby wasn’t hurt and doesn’t understand. Deep breath and move on.

Show quote history

Agreed. The OP wouldn't be posting if she didn't feel shit but some posters just love to get the boot in that little bit more.

Original poster
Christmasconcerts · 21/12/2023 09:57

Aww thanks everyone even those who point out they wouldn’t do itzz it isn’t acceptable and I don’t want to justify it but I’ve done it now and can’t undo it. Can only try to recognise when I’m breaking. My problem is I only realise I’m at breaking point when already broken if you see what I mean.

OP posts:

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Jellycats4life · 21/12/2023 10:00

Sleepygrumpyandnothappy · 21/12/2023 09:08

I completely disagree. Two hours of nighttime arsehole behaviour isn’t unusual in this house. It’s difficult but I would never shout and swear at DS for it.

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Good for you. Here’s your medal 🥇

SEG152 · 21/12/2023 10:02

The fact that you now feel terrible is proof enough that you’re a loving mother. The early months are tough, please go easy on yourself.

Dotcheck · 21/12/2023 10:04

Sleepygrumpyandnothappy · 21/12/2023 09:08

I completely disagree. Two hours of nighttime arsehole behaviour isn’t unusual in this house. It’s difficult but I would never shout and swear at DS for it.

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Parenting is a sharp learning curve. Well done you, though

LondonLass91 · 21/12/2023 10:07

Christmasconcerts · 21/12/2023 08:54

She’s way too young for sleep training and to be fair she isn’t too bad as a rule. Which makes me feel worse but it is done now. I think she’s forgiven me.

Good for you OP, you sound like a lovely mum, we all lose it sometimes..sleep deprivation is awful...x ps don't sleep train, they learn not to cry because no one comes. I worked in Child Services for many years and the neglected kids never cried (i think leaving a baby to cry is neglect)..

Ladyj84 · 21/12/2023 10:13

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Riverlee · 21/12/2023 10:15

We’ve all been there.

Sending hugs and understanding.

Denimdenimdenim · 21/12/2023 10:19

Forgive yourself. Sleep deprivation is the worst. Nobody is perfect, just stride to never do it again.

Original poster
Christmasconcerts · 21/12/2023 10:21

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I don’t like doing this as am a serial NCer but honestly I’ve never seen you post anything supportive. It’s always just ‘well I never did this’ ‘my kids never did this.’

I think you must live an exceptionally isolated life because you’re always so shocked when anyone admits to less than robotic perfection. Bizarre.

Anyway, all is well apart from the poor child being carted around a trampoline park Hmm

OP posts:
Candycurrantbun · 21/12/2023 10:25

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Oh behave. You might be the perfect parent but you don't sound like a particularly nice person in general.

Original poster
Christmasconcerts · 21/12/2023 10:27

Ladyj84 has an older child who may or may not be current partners, twins and a toddler (I think.)

All behave perfectly at all times. Never tantrum or display negative behaviour. Even more remarkable she’s never seen this from any other similarly aged child as the shock when someone’s toddler misbehaves is evident.

I need to move to where she lives.

OP posts:
Cyclistmumgrandma · 21/12/2023 10:36

To avoid the situation in future where you can't put the baby back in a wet bed try layering. On top of the mattress we used to have several layers of waterproof, then towel (to prevent it getting too sweaty as we lived in a hot climate) then fitted sheet, then another waterproof towel sheet, then a third layer of waterproof towel sheet on the top. When the baby was wet, we just needed to strip off the top layers and put him back in so no need to completely remake the cot at silly o'clock in the middle of the night. As said, your baby will not remember this.

Original poster
Christmasconcerts · 21/12/2023 10:39

i didn’t - just took her in bed with me Grin

I think she was just awake to be honest and took a while to resettle. I don’t mind that but she was so loud I was stressed she’d wake her brother.

OP posts:
MargotBamborough · 21/12/2023 10:52

I hear you, OP.

Sometimes my baby just decides that she wants to hang out with me at 3am and gets very cross when I don't want to play.

Cyclistmumgrandma · 21/12/2023 10:56

Yes, I remember those nights well. Try not to stress too much. I've still not forgotten the night when the baby kept me up until gone 2 and then the toddler woke us all up at 6. Felt like death warmed up the next day. I'd just got both down for a nap and could see a gleam of light at the end of the tunnel when the health visitor called and had me wake them up. It's still vivid more than 30 years later! The point being that while you remember these times, your baby will not.

EarringsandLipstick · 21/12/2023 10:57

TitaniasAss · 21/12/2023 09:49

Agreed. The OP wouldn't be posting if she didn't feel shit but some posters just love to get the boot in that little bit more.

Show quote history

I don't see any evidence of posters 'getting the boot in'. I've noted that it's really not great. But then gone on to say she needs to put a plan for a) rest and b) support (from DH) in place.

I'm not going to say it's ok and we have all done it. I have had many poor parenting moments, I'm in particular not a patient mum - but I have never shouted or sworn at my DC when they were babies.

That doesn't make me better than OP or anyone else - I simply say that as I think normalising it isn't right; and it to me indicates that OP needs some support and I think she needs to prioritise getting it.

EarringsandLipstick · 21/12/2023 10:58

Jellycats4life · 21/12/2023 10:00

Good for you. Here’s your medal 🥇

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Why the need for the snippy response? The poster was just commenting that she has been there - but hasn't felt the need to shout / swear. She isn't saying anything more than that, and doesn't need the 'medal' as if she was suggesting she was perfect.

Original poster
Christmasconcerts · 21/12/2023 11:03

I’m too tired for a row. Report it if you think it’s crossed a line.

OP posts:
ThisIsntThe80sPat · 21/12/2023 11:05

Meh we all have these moments. I had one recently. DS looked at me for a moment then started grinning. 😅 They won't remember and it has left you feeling worse than them!

Get DH up next time. I don't do it often, but when I'm really struggling, this is what I do. DH then paces with baby and tries to shush him back to sleep

Candycurrantbun · 21/12/2023 11:05

EarringsandLipstick · 21/12/2023 10:57

I don't see any evidence of posters 'getting the boot in'. I've noted that it's really not great. But then gone on to say she needs to put a plan for a) rest and b) support (from DH) in place.

I'm not going to say it's ok and we have all done it. I have had many poor parenting moments, I'm in particular not a patient mum - but I have never shouted or sworn at my DC when they were babies.

That doesn't make me better than OP or anyone else - I simply say that as I think normalising it isn't right; and it to me indicates that OP needs some support and I think she needs to prioritise getting it.

Show quote history

Possibly you didn't see it because the poster sticking the boot in had her post deleted?

Original poster
Christmasconcerts · 21/12/2023 11:06

Incidentally I didn’t report it but thanks to whoever did. I think that poster is on a wind up though.

OP posts:
EarringsandLipstick · 21/12/2023 12:19

Possibly you didn't see it because the poster sticking the boot in had her post deleted?

Sorry! Yes that may have been the case, only saw deleted posts later.

JellyComb · 21/12/2023 12:39

My eldest son is 21. When he was just 2 I shouted at him very, very loudly, angrily and scarily and shook his hand a bit. He wouldn't sit on the bottom stair to have his shoes put on - I had to get him to nursery and had a very important presentation to give within minutes of arriving at work.

He looked at me absolutely terrified and cried and cried. My God i felt truly awful. Totally shocked and horrified with myself. I was miserable all day and the presentation wasn't as good as it should have been, not that i cared by that point. I vowed to never ever do that again and i don't think i ever did, normal telling off aside. He doesn't remember a thing. (I have asked him) and was not hurt psychologically or physically, but it was a shocking moment for me and it was almost quite good it had happened as i was so much more mindful of being patient from then on.