I know I would BU to go to church even though I'm an atheist, but....

[oasiswon]

I'm in need of some new friendships, a sense of community and opportunities to make connections with others and just be around people. Since the birth of my DC during pandemic, followed by DH spending most weeks travelling away for work and no family to support I've been very lonely. I'm now at the stage where DC are old enough for me to have a teeny tiny bit more time for me - however - I've no friends nearby! I live in London and all my friends with kids moved away to the countryside during Covid. I have friends I can speak to on the phone but no-one in my area and only a handful in my city whom I see once or twice a year!

I've tried a book group to no avail (everyone was younger and pre-DC and I felt like a fish out of water) and nursery / kids activities haven't led to any friendships, only the occasional hello on the rush to work.

I feel envious of churchgoers having a ready made community to attend each week and have coffee and a chat, and we have a lovely CofE church in our road which seems to have an open vibe.

But I'm not a believer and I'm an atheist so it would be wrong of me to attend I suppose. If only there were atheist places like churches! I know it sounds silly. Does anyone else relate to this? And if do what did you do to connect with people?

“The Church is the only society on earth that exists for the benefit of non-members.” So said William Temple, a former Archbishop of Canterbury. So true.

Please give it a go OP!

Go ahead!

My church and every one I've ever known would welcome you
Outreach and fellowship in every form to all people is important

(Really wanting to know where you are now so I can invite you!🤣)

You'd be totally welcome in my church! Honestly I am delighted to hear that someone who is searching for connection and a sense of community thinks of looking for it in a local church. All the best and I hope you meet some lovely people 💐

If only there were atheist places like churches! I know it sounds silly.

It's not silly. I wish there were too. I don't think I could ever feel comfortable trying to attend a church though, because I used to be a Christian ... maybe I could if I'd never believed it, and didn't think much about the faith side of it.

Non religious groups are at a distinct disadvantage because they don't have the buildings to meet in, it's a real logistical problem finding appropriate spaces.

DH is having to spend some time away from home and has been to a couple of Buddhist places ... that might suit some, they're non-theistic and typically not dogmatic.

Haha me too, I also want to invite you! If you are in SE London and you see a woman who is perpetually covered in biscuit crumbs with out of control hair running after a toddler at the back of the church, that'll be me. Come say hello! 👋🤗

Thank you for posting this, I’ve been thinking this sane thing today! Only difference is I am actually looking for some spiritual element to it as I’m feeling very low. Might sound silly but are churches open all the time or at specific times? Sorry to ask such a question but I have never been and no one in my family is remotely religious do can’t ask.

@AnnoyedTeacherrrr you google the local church and there will be a what’s on page. Generally they will be open for Sunday services, maybe mid week services. If it’s a town centre they likely have a coffee shop running.
Quieter areas will likely have a baby group and a coffee morning. Maybe a bereavement group.

Some places manage to stay unlocked but unmanned. Others are only open during the times specified on the website.

@pickledandpuzzled thank you!

For anyone thinking about it- faith isn’t static. If you weren’t allowed in if you had any doubts, the building would be empty.

There’s a movement building of ‘followers of Jesus’. People who like the role model and values but don’t share any supernatural belief system.

It’s fine to go, appreciate what appeals and leave behind what does not.

Maybe you could have another try, Errol. It may not be what you remember.

There are places that are like a church but not a church.
I keep walking past one that is for people of all faiths or none but have never got round to popping in.
Perhaps Google and see if there is anything similar in your area.

I have noticed lots of the new school mums who go to the school coffee morning type things too, and it does seem to help. I think yours are younger than school age though? I had a couple of mum's I met in the park, arranged to meet again at a toddler group, and went on from there.

I think most religious places in general would welcome you in regardless of beliefs anyway though. People do sometimes pop in to religious places out of curiosity or whatever else and they aren't kicked out unless they go there to be rude to people.

Hello! So this really depends. I've generally find that Catholic churches are open a lot of the time for people just to pop into for private prayer, at least in London. Generally the Church of England and other protestant denominations don't stay open in the same way but I'm generalising a bit. If you are in a city that has a Cathedral then it's likely to be open much of the time and you can go inside to pray or just take time for yourself. Catholic churches tend to have more regular Masses during weekdays and those are really short, less than half an hour. I find they can be a really welcome pause in the middle of a hectic day. Anyone can join in but just don't go up for communion (the bread and wine) as you need to be an "initiated" Catholic to receive the sacraments.

There's a non religious church called 'New Unity' at Newington Green if you're near by. I've never been but quite like the idea.

You'd be welcome in my church too. Lots of the local kids come to various activities and I'm sure that no-one has ever asked the parents if they are believers. Some of the activities will be based on Bible stories but that's about it. I do have a faith but I don't believe some of what they believe but I keep quiet and enjoy the music and the community. The readings and sermons are often thought& provoking and the people are trying their lest to spread love.

All faiths and no faiths welcome at my rc church.

You would be very welcome in church. There's no rules on having to believe in order to attend and a lot of us are at least agnostic.

Funny you should ask this. I'm suffering from loneliness and am in my 50s, and sometimes wish I was a Christian so I could be a part of something. I'm a member of various groups, but it tends just to be about the thing, then it's over.

I think what someone said about churches having their own buildings was spot on.

I did go to a Quaker meeting for a while, it was during a period where they didn't focus so much on God/Jesus so I felt very comfortable. They've moved back that way again though.

I am not religious at all but the community of young families involved with our parish church and linked local primary scho was absolutely lovely. Friends for life, for the kids and for me.

Maybe you could have another try, Errol. It may not be what you remember.

Oh, the church I grew up was lovely (others when I was a student, the more evangelical type, less so). I just can't say or sing words I don't mean, I can't pretend I'm ok with the whole belief system.

Given the Magdalene laundries and other horrors of the past I wouldn't say kindness was an inevitable fruit of being a Christian. I am agnostic but have been thinking about attending our local Anglican church for similar reasons to the OP.

Go. Churches are so welcoming in my experience.

Christmas is a great time to try out a church! They are expecting newcomers, and you'll know all the songs. 😊

I’m an athiest but I think church can be a great place to meet people and feel part of a community. I may not believe in a god but that doesn’t mean I can’t see the good that church communities can bring to the world.

I have thought about this too, but I think I would burst into flames if I stood foot in a church.

Personally, I don't think it a problem.
I am an atheist, but was brought up going to church, so have an empathy to the CHristian religion.
This country is theoretically a Christian country, with holidays at Easter, Christmas, etc, and the Christian calander underpins our culture (UK).
I like the hymns, and many of the bible stories are built into literature, etc
Social contact is a reasonable reason for going.
When I go, I join in the hymns, and listen to the bible readings, but do not take communion. Although I do not believe in prayer, I can certainly empathise with most prayers, which are usually based on praying for someone, or praying for an end to various wars, etc.
Theoretically, I may avoid saying 'Amen' with the others, but actually, I generally join in, though I have not attended for some time.
Finally, depending on the Minister/Priest if there is a sermon/homily, etc it can sometimes be quite inspiring, whether you believe in God or not.
That said, I haven't been to church for a while.

I wold like to hope that you find a welcoming community who respect your views and give you the support and friendship you wish for. This may well be the case.

Unfortunately, I know many judgemental Christians who believe that anyone who does not agree with them is wrong. I have been called a sinner and lectured for my non-Christian beliefs.

Also, it is only anecdotal but the two people I know of who have been imprisoned for sex offences against children have both been pillars of their local churches, well respected men until found out. Just be wary with your DC.

I have heard good things about Peanut. Best of luck.