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Original poster

Completely freaking out about turning 40

85 replies

MiddleAgeAllTheRage · 18/12/2023 19:28

I'm turning 40 within the next few months and I'm completely freaking out about it. 30 was scary enough. I've always felt youthful and just... young. But in the last twelve months or so I'm really starting to feel my age. My eyes have loads of wrinkles around them when I smile, my body feels a little stiffer, my hair is starting to get a bit thinner. It's harder to lose weight.

But most of all I'm absolutely terrified of what the next decade will bring me. I only have a few relatives left and I love them more than anything 😔 it's scary.

Am I old?! Is there anyway I can change this and go back to being 25?

OP posts:
ShowOfHands · 18/12/2023 19:31

40s are brilliant. You end up giving no fucks about anything. It's enormously freeing.

Eat well and exercise. Get sleep. That's the best you can do for your body.

Digestivechocolatebiscuit · 18/12/2023 19:38

My daughter is about to turn 40.. she still looks 25 .. she's a single parent with three teenage boys and enjoying her life to the full. Says she's having the time of her life.. seeing friends.. going to concerts.. going on mini breaks.. doing what she wants when she wants.. she's a beauty therapist and works part time in retail in a beauty store too. I celebrated my 40th with a weekend in Dublin and embraced it.. I'm 65 now..

ShipshapeShore · 18/12/2023 19:45

I'm 40 soon and don't mind. I've got 40 years of knowledge, wisdom and memories and the wrinkles and grey hair seem like an ok trade off to me. I'm much more comfortable where I am now than when I was younger. I think it's fine to not be ok with it too, but it's going to happen!

MissKittyFantastico84 · 18/12/2023 19:51

With any luck, you'll be 80 one day - and you'll give anything to be 40 again.

That's the way I see it! I think it's a good mindset to have. It helps!

Plus, getting older is better than the alternative.........

herewegoroundtheblueberrybush · 18/12/2023 19:52

I turned 40 recently and I know what you mean. I miss being young and however much I tell myself I'll never be this young again and everything is fine (which it is) I still grieve for my youth

twistyizzy · 18/12/2023 19:54

40 is fantastic and really liberating. As PP said you realised you have zero fucks to give, I no longer care what anyone thinks of me and I just do what I want. DD is entering teenage years so doesn't need me as constantly, mortgage only has 5 years left and I've not even hit my peak work wise so still have at least 2 upwards steps to take.

Hellenika · 18/12/2023 19:56

I hated 40s. 50s are much better. The happiness curve bottoms out in your 40s and by 50s you are back on the upswing.

RickWhittington · 18/12/2023 19:57

40s has been the best decade ever for me. Loved it.

SilverBranchGoldenPears · 18/12/2023 19:58

I‘m 50 now and turning 50 was easier than 40 somehow.
i do get where you are coming from but it truly is a gift. Time is all we have. Don’t waste a moment wishing you were younger, prettier, slimmer, sportier. You are you. And that’s enough. Your 40s should be the best years of your life. Young enough to have health and energy and old enough to know how to spend that energy.

ohfourfoxache · 18/12/2023 19:59

I turned 40 this year

Have genuinely found it quite liberating. I don’t feel the same need to please anyone!

Hbh17 · 18/12/2023 20:04

What's wrong with being 40? It means you're finally starting to understand life. 50 is even better, because then you stop giving a shiny wotsit what other people think about you!

unicornsarereal72 · 18/12/2023 20:12

It is better than the alternative. I work in palliative care and each day is a blessing. Be thankful. And make the most of each day

RunningAndSinging · 18/12/2023 20:14

When DH and I turned 40, we had a fake midlife crisis and did some fun outrageous stuff to embrace it. The real midlife crisis has come in the later 40s with the start of the perimenopause for me, and some work burnout issues for him. As someone said, you will never be this young again - enjoy celebrating the birthday and enjoy your early 40s.

Having had morning sickness and watching my parents getting older and having joint pains etc. I am grateful for every day, I don’t feel sick, I’m not in pain and I can get out in the world.

HarrietSchulenberg · 18/12/2023 20:19

40 is a superb age. You're old enough to know what you want, wise enough to know how to get it, and confident enough to not care what others think while you're doing it.

Soccermumamir · 18/12/2023 20:19

I turned 40 in November. It was the first year for a long time where I actually looked forward to a new decade. So far, so good 👍 I don't care what other people think about me. I do what I want, when I want, enjoy working out, hobbies, gigs, time with family and friends, breaks away. Went to Manchester for my 40th with OH and the kids and it was brilliant. Everything was done up for Halloween, which is my favourite time of the year and we ate at The Hard Rock Cafe. Embrace it. Put it this way, no one gets any younger so might as well let go and enjoy!

cardibach · 18/12/2023 20:22

Wrinkles and thinning hair at 40?
Anyway, turning 40 is, as others have said, infinitely preferable to the alternative.

RunningAndSinging · 18/12/2023 20:23

How old are your relatives? I am convincing myself that mine are going to live forever 🤞😢

Original poster
MiddleAgeAllTheRage · 18/12/2023 20:24

RunningAndSinging · 18/12/2023 20:23

How old are your relatives? I am convincing myself that mine are going to live forever 🤞😢

All at least 20 years older than me

OP posts:
Borris · 18/12/2023 20:26

My 40s have been better than all my 30s and most of my 20s

TheKnittedCharacter · 18/12/2023 20:30

I found 30 harder as I thought of it as the end of youth. By 40, I was resigned to it 😂

Hellocatshome · 18/12/2023 20:32

I turned 40 earlier this year, it really is just a number. Getting older is much better than the alternative.

PinkArt · 18/12/2023 20:34

What you need is Cher!
She had an amazing speech in her last tour that centres around her turning 40. She was trying to break Hollywood and being written off as far too old. It meanders a bit via calling Jack Nicholson a motherfucker but essentially she is in a club, looks at herself with her 'skirt up to here and her top down to there' and says to herself, christ you're 40... and you are so fucking hot!
She goes on to get the role AND the Oscar! Imagine writing Cher off when she was barely getting started. OP, be Cher!

oneflewoverthe · 18/12/2023 20:36

I'm 40 next year. I still feel young. Thinning hair at this age isn't normal. Could it be vitamin deficiency? I'm not wrinkly either. Invest in some better make up/skin cream. The best is yet to come!

WandaWonder · 18/12/2023 20:36

Freaking out won't stop it happening it may just spoil any good memories you will have

Baircasolly · 18/12/2023 20:37

I'm 40 in a few months, and I keep fluctuating between it not being a big deal, and it being a big fucking deal!

I'm just trying to remind myself that every day we just get one day older 🤷‍♀️