Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

What’s your ideal hen do?

30 replies

Coffeeandcocktails · 18/12/2023 18:54

I’ve been invited to a number of hen do’s this year and only one of them I’ve actually wanted to go to. Of course I feel bad for not attending but when there’s a number of activities planned and none of them are for me, I’ve just decided not to waste so much money on something I won’t enjoy.

so, what’s your ideal hen do?

(for yourself or one you’d attend)

OP posts:
ZenNudist · 18/12/2023 19:03

A meal out with friends, cocktails after, a simple sash and fake veil for the bride, everyone allowed to dress the way they want, a framed sign saying so and sos hen do that you can put up in the cocktail bar and restaurant. Everyone collect photos for the bride to put in a memory book for her with messages from everyone. Maybe do some party favours (mints wrapped in ribbon) and some balloons to make the table special. Friends and similar aged people no mums/ MIL.

Milliemoos5 · 18/12/2023 19:09

A simple dinner out with my closest friends. I hate hate this thing of needing to go abroad on holiday as a hen do, it’s utterly unreasonable to expect your friends to fork out for an expensive trip away, time off work, time away from their families etc.

SallyWD · 18/12/2023 19:11

A little cottage in the countryside with about 3 or 4 close friends. Lots of nice walks, a country pub for meals, lots of chatting over a glass of wine at the cottage.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Weddings
thedementedelf · 18/12/2023 19:12

A meal with very close friends. It doesn't have to be anywhere fancy, I would sit in a chippy with some Irn bru and onto a place for a few drinks and home.

gotomomo · 18/12/2023 19:14

Meal, drinks and theatre - not a sash or t shirt in sight!

Jessforless · 18/12/2023 19:14

One night out, dinner, drinks and no expectation to go crazy.

Would also accept a pre dinner activity, friends did cocktail making, another did an escape room and others (though more niche I admit) went horse riding.

Definitely not the expectation to go away. If I’m going to spend money on a trip, I want my DC to experience it.

FairfaxAikmann · 18/12/2023 19:17

The ones I've enjoyed have been in parts so people could come to it all or just bits of it - so an activity followed by a meal, followed by another activity followed by the pub.

The one I loved most was one where a vintage hairdresser came to the house and we all had 50s hairstyles, followed by cocktail making, a meal, private karaoke and then the pub.

Persipan · 18/12/2023 19:17

We all make something together. Parts of a whole. Like everyone makes a block for a quilt, or crochets a granny square for a blanket, or paints one piece of a tea set. Something like that.

IsItOverYetAndCanIComeOutNow · 18/12/2023 19:17

A meal at a decent restaurant within a 5 star London hotel. Male and female friends. Champagne, great food and company, no sashes, tiaras, veils, posters, straws or t-shirts.

Move to the hotel bar after dinner. No one else needs to stay if they don’t want to. Day at a spa the next day but again, happy to do that on my own if others don’t fancy it / happy to have company if they do.

I’d stay again that evening and order room service.

Raincloudsonasunnyday · 18/12/2023 19:26

A non-existent one.

JanewaysBun · 18/12/2023 19:33

A trip to the beach - somewhere hot. I love attending hen dos like this as it's a great excuse for a child free break (the ones i have been on have been budget friendly, no chartering a boat or anything). I've been on some UK ones that cost way more and were cold/rainy.

My fave ever one was (admittedly not sunny) Dublin.

QueSyrahSyrah · 18/12/2023 19:36

I didn't want one at all but was firmly told by friends that it wasn't about me Grin

What we did in the end was my ideal; lunch at my favourite local restaurant, and then on to a nearby pub. All home by about 9.30pm. Perfect.

YearsofYears · 18/12/2023 19:36

Was also going to say a non-existent one

childrensward · 18/12/2023 19:59

Mine was perfect for me. We attended a local hotel, had a lovely 3 course meal and then a tribute night of my favourite band followed by a disco afterwards. It was amazing, had my closest friends and family around me singing at the top of my voice to my favourite songs!

easylikeasundaymorn · 18/12/2023 20:35

to be honest I'll give most things a go. I'd actually be very up for going away as long as everyone was happy to and could afford it. Most of MN seem to think this is a complete implausibility/akin to torture but most of my friends actually like going on a break together so it would be a great excuse.

The people are the most important thing - I'd 100% prefer a very low key hen with everyone who wanted to come there over a crazy wild expensive extravaganza that people couldn't afford (and either missed out or came resentfully).

Probably the only things I wouldn't like to do (either for my own hen or someone else's) are YET ANOTHER COCKTAIL MAKING CLASS (literally I could lead them by now!) and going clubbing in a trendy nightclub - although I'd be fine with a sweat -dripping-down-the-walls rock venue or something.

Also if going away I'd really like, even if not my own room, at the very least a bed to myself (I thought this was bare minimum but apparently not!)

KnittedPond · 18/12/2023 20:39

The ones I’ve liked most were (1) a small number in a cottage somewhere beautiful, where we walked and cooked and had drinks around the fire at night, or a (2) lunch at a riverside pub followed by taking boats out.

cardibach · 18/12/2023 20:42

ZenNudist · 18/12/2023 19:03

A meal out with friends, cocktails after, a simple sash and fake veil for the bride, everyone allowed to dress the way they want, a framed sign saying so and sos hen do that you can put up in the cocktail bar and restaurant. Everyone collect photos for the bride to put in a memory book for her with messages from everyone. Maybe do some party favours (mints wrapped in ribbon) and some balloons to make the table special. Friends and similar aged people no mums/ MIL.

This without the tacky veil and sign and casual ageism.

ilovebagpuss · 18/12/2023 20:48

I would love a cottage by the coast for a couple of nights. Close friends easy food laughs and drinks.
Maybe a walk or swim depending on the time of year.
What I actually had was a weekend away in a naice town with dinner and a club.
This was fun and suited everyone who came and wasn't too expensive.

Cheepcheepcheep · 18/12/2023 20:50

I loved mine (weekend away at a cottage, walks and pubs) but that was before any of us had kids and we did weekends away a lot.

Recent ones have been spa days followed by dinner, drinks and dancing for those who fancy. We’re all either in London or the commuter belt so negates the need for an overnight stay if we do it in town.

ChateauDuMont · 18/12/2023 20:50

Not to be invited.

Charlie2121 · 18/12/2023 20:53

A day at the races. Not one of those stupid Ladies days but something like Cheltenham.

Vicliz24 · 18/12/2023 20:59

I took my best friend to Rome for the weekend. Just the two of us it was heaven.

onlyoneoftheregimentinstep · 18/12/2023 21:00

Something that affordable for everyone. My DD had a day time activity, an evening meal and an overnight stay in a hotel, but people only had to commit to the bits they would enjoy/could afford. I'm happy to say that I was invited!

Jane0Jane · 18/12/2023 21:01

A weekend away. One wild night out with dancing, next day chilling, spa day, roast dinner and cosy night in front of a fire talking about old times

Ykn · 18/12/2023 21:06

Mine was perfect for me and my friends - cheap limo into the city and back, Asian buffet restaurant and then a tacky 80s club. Sleepover at ny house then a huge fry up the next morning before getting trains home.

No plastic knobs and no strippers (one so called friend backed out of coming because there weren't going to be any strippers Hmm).