Do friends/family know that you suffer from anxiety or depression?

[Tobenot4]

I developed awful anxiety after a bad breakup a couple of years ago. I'm over the breakup now but I can't shake the anxiety and often feel down in myself, a feeling of I just can't be bothered about a lot of things.

Now, friends and family would know I went through a hard time at the time, but no one really knows I'm not feeling great at times with this anxiety.

Anyone else in a similar situation - do you share how you're feeling or keep it to yourself like me?

This is my experience too 😪
And it's actually much worse when you tell someone and they don't care, than if you'd never told them. It's so hurtful

@Chocpot1986 nope. When I had a crises and was on the verge they still didn't get it. It was all "such a shock" to them. They've got over it now though and reverted to type.

Thank you. I am actually fine.

It never gets too much, has come close.

I have had 2 severe depressive episodes in the last 10 years.
i became none verbal. Stopped eating, drinking and talking for about 2 weeks.
Not one person noticed. Not one.

Somehow, I claw back. Alone but I do it.

@user284246975787632445 I think I can speak for all of us when I say WE CARE!

Yes I think everyone close to me knows and that I take medication for it. Why would I hide it?

@Barmecide I think you are lucky to have the option of not doing anything different because of your illness. I would love to be able to do that but despite my best efforts ended up sectioned with a 3 month admission to a psychiatric hospital earlier this year - carrying on as normal simply wasn’t something I was able to do.
I have reflected often that I find it much harder to talk about my illness than I would if it was a physical illness. Only my very closest friends and immediate family know all of it. I think there is still a stigma around mental illness even though there shouldn’t be and I worry that my reluctance to discuss it helps to perpetuate that. It’s hard.

Only my DH who is my rock. Adult daughters know a little, my siblings and DM know none (siblings would tell me to get a grip, DM would worry).

No, no one at all. It's just easier and probably better for everyone to put a smile on my face and carry on. I actually feel ashamed to feel the way I do; some days I definitely don't want to be here and the only thing stopping me is my 4 children. I'm not sure about family as they brush everything under the carpet, but I think my best friend would be surprised because I'm very good at hiding it.

Evening, everyone. It's very sobering to see how many people aren't able to find support from friends or family. We're pleased to see that some of that support IS available here. Just in case it helps though, we thought we would just leave our Mental Health Webguide here, which has lots of contact details for charities and organisations that can also help.

Family (except for dh and dc) no, friends yes. I found it very liberating to talk about my anxiety and depression with my friends, some of them are in the same boat and we can support each other.
@user284246975787632445 please try to talk to somebody. Nobody can really make you better, but sharing can ease the burden.

Yes. Mum was supportive when she was alive but the rest of them don't care about it, and now we don't talk to any of them. My family or my other Half's. About a dozen people in total. I think my mum held our family relations together and my other Half's dad simply doesn't care about him as much as he does his sister - honestly though, we are better off without them all.

I find that a lot of internet strangers can be extremely helpful, so the help is out there if you need it, just not necessarily in the places you might expect.

Have you considered therapy?

@HebeMumsnet thank you xx

@Tobenot4 usually figure it out or try to work through it as best as i can, and usually im closed off rather than talk about it, sometimes its easier on my own as then you dont have to give everyone updates etc

No. I grew up with anxiety and depression. Self harm too. It was was all just brushed under the carpet and me being "difficult".
As an adult, I have been hospitalised and sectioned. My parents and other family still think I am somehow taking the piss and none of it is real.
They know, they just don't care.

I’ve been on antidepressants for nearly 25 years. None of my family know. My best friend does but I don’t talk to her much anymore. I just carry on. Boyfriend knows but isn’t any help, in fact reading this thread has made me realise how unsupportive he is.

I had it for years and only best friend and immediate family knew. I was diagnosed in the days it was something to be ashamed of and I was terrified of employers or networking links finding out.
This year I had a full on nervous breakdown. I decided it would beneficial to tell some other people so I did.

It has been strange to me how shocked most of them are. I think lots of us have it but never show it.

I had one colleague who had to make several attempts to get meds from his GP because "you always look well turned out". Guess what, the people who always ask for the 8am appointment are going to be suited and booted because we have to go to work after our appointment. Not rocket science.

I hope that perception has gone away. I won't pop to the shop without looking tidy and presentable. My poor colleague was having panic attacks on the Tube.

talking to people often makes it worse, I find.

IRL, I agree. I also keep it quiet because I know how people are.

but online spaces can be great. The mental health board here is excellent. Hopefully we can help you.

Cc @twiddlingthumbs69

'You are in a lovely house and have a lovely partner, what have you got to be stressed about?'

• because, that's all that people need? Oh please.

She blocked me on WhatsApp before I had the chance to tell her it would cost £1200 a month to heat it, or else completely abandon the ground floor, which we did.

But some people just don't care. I remember my stepdad saying to me 'have you completely lost your sense of humour or what?'

Actually, yeah. It's fucking hard to find things to be happy about when you have got depression.

Very much so, it’s as plain as day on my face, in my actions, in my voice.

do they care? Different story!

Dh knows all of it, everyone else not so much for various reasons. One friend lost her father to suicide, I don't feel comfortable sharing the depths my mind goes to with her for example. On paper too, I look like my life is pretty perfect. A dh who adores me, plenty of money, 2 healthy children, a big house. According to many people that more than balances out the abusive childhood, the events which saw me diagnosed with Ptsd and the constant self loathing.

I can't take SSRIs due to a bad reaction to sertraline and my GP says if I want to try any other meds I need referring back to psychiatry so I muddle on as best I can. Until I can't. The only reason I'm still here is the realisation that killing myself would destroy my children.
I've accepted now I'll never reach the potential I had, that I'll never have a "proper" job again and that actual support doesn't exist.

My Dad has lifelong MH problems and I’m now his emotional rock ( he’s widowed) so I’m used to being open about MH difficulties.

I’m diagnosed with GAD, thankfully much improved with counselling and medication. My family knows, as do a couple of close friends. I don’t talk about it much, just let them know if I’m having a difficult day. My DS (15) also suffers from anxiety and has had v. effective counselling. I’m his emotional rock too and he finds it helpful to share his feelings with me if he’s struggling. He hides it pretty well with other people, but he needs someone to open up to.

So overall, we’re pretty open about MH in our family. We do like to talk. 😂

To all those that are struggling on this thread I just want to give a little bit of hope- I suffered with terrible mental health for over 15 years with many periods of hospitalisation and suicidal thoughts/ideation
I have now been very mentally well for over 5 years now to the point I would say my mental health is better than most people's (I have asd as well)
I'm not saying this to boast at all, I never thought I would make it to this age alive, even if this gives one person some hope then that would be great.
You are all incredibly strong and amazing to keep fighting ❤️

@EmmaEmerald I think many people are terrified of talking about MH. If someone shares that they’re struggling, they have no idea what to say and just want to shut the subject down.

@Runoutofinkagain I'm really glad to hear you are well. 🤗 What helped you please?

@HamBone I was a bit brief there - when I say I know how people are, I don't blame them at all for not wanting to hear it.

I have strategically shared after my nervous breakdown because I'm tired of alleged family friends telling me I should do more for my mum. Otherwise I'd have kept quiet as much as possible.

the anonymity of the internet really helps in this kind of situation.

I have depression and take 150mg of sertraline daily. Dh knows, and sometimes I might tell a friend of they are going through similar but none of my family know.