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Original poster

Are we just posting into the void?

35 replies

ratstsae · 13/12/2023 14:43

Sometimes on mumsnet or some other forum I will post a reply to a persons post, hopefully saying something supportive or comforting and sometimes it will be somewhat revelatory. Other times you just post your favourite washing powder or who your weird crush is and in some ways it feels like you are taking part in a conversation except it isn't.

You never know if anyone reads what you wrote, if it was any help. People rarely reply or even do the new thanks thing and its fine I probably don't either that much but I was just thinking that in many ways we are just all talking to ourselves more than to each other.

OP posts:
JaneJeffer · 13/12/2023 14:44

Maybe none of it is real and you're just talking to yourself

Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 13/12/2023 14:46

I think of it as - okay, maybe nobody does read what I post. But I will offer advice or chat back as though they are, because it could be my one piece of advice that makes the difference to someone.
I am eternally hopeful. Also, I can't shut up, so...

HomburgandTrilby · 13/12/2023 14:47

You mustn’t frequent the AIBU bun fights where it’s very clear posts are being read (and eviscerated!)

MrsTerryPratchett · 13/12/2023 14:54

We could all be a brain in a vat. But it's happier to believe we aren't!

Original poster
ratstsae · 13/12/2023 14:55

@Vroomfondleswaistcoat Yeah this is how I try to see it as well but I suppose for lots of us mumsnet feels like a way to connect except it kind of isn't. Perhaps at best its a way to crowd source advice, which of course isn't without value.

OP posts:
Original poster
ratstsae · 13/12/2023 14:56

@HomburgandTrilby I don't suppose I do that much! I don't like it when things get nasty!

OP posts:
Original poster
ratstsae · 13/12/2023 14:56

Also thank you to whoever thanked me for my OP!

OP posts:
ConstantRain · 13/12/2023 15:39

It's all AI op. I'm just an algorithm. We all are.

NightmareGirl · 13/12/2023 15:45

It would be weirder if I was a writer replying to you just to keep the conversation going for readers

CormorantStrikesBack · 13/12/2023 15:48

Maybe MN is your version of the Reddit lamp and you’re currently asleep or unconscious and have dreamt the whole of Mumsnet. You’ll wake up soon and be sad it doesn’t actually exist.

Original poster
ratstsae · 13/12/2023 15:54

I'm not really being that existential about it, what I mean is that we post and reply but nobody is really reading what you say or replying they are just posting their own stuff and at best people just skim read what you write. Essentially that we are all kind of wasting our time contributing to threads.

OP posts:
Laiste · 13/12/2023 15:59

Have you been on MN very long OP?
Every so often a post will come up asking for help which will be right up your street of 'been there, got the t shirt' and the advice you give will be read and you'll be thanked and even private messaged about.

It's mostly for big life stuff though. I don't think there's much feedback on wash tablet opinions, for example 😂

I love AIBU and read it like a trashy mag and expect my posts to merge into everyone elses. But there are other boards here with much more serious stuff going on. On those there's a lot more convo between posters.

Original poster
ratstsae · 13/12/2023 16:01

Laiste · 13/12/2023 15:59

Have you been on MN very long OP?
Every so often a post will come up asking for help which will be right up your street of 'been there, got the t shirt' and the advice you give will be read and you'll be thanked and even private messaged about.

It's mostly for big life stuff though. I don't think there's much feedback on wash tablet opinions, for example 😂

I love AIBU and read it like a trashy mag and expect my posts to merge into everyone elses. But there are other boards here with much more serious stuff going on. On those there's a lot more convo between posters.

I've been on and off mumsnet for a while and haven't had this although I've posted on the kinds of threads you mentioned. The only time I've had private messages about was the one time I posted on a sex topic and got PM's from men which were not welcome.

OP posts:
InTheStars · 13/12/2023 16:08

@ratstsae just gave you a thanks. I don't post much on public forums, but I'm fairly certain I'm a human being.

I can identify with the posting into the void feeling - get that on WhatsApp quite frequently. It seems to me people don't like to engage so much any more in general. Well, either that or my friends are so exceptionally busy that they can't even communicate that or they are dead (but have taken their phone to their coffin to pop online) or I'm just a shit person and they avoid me for good reason. Who knows.

Laiste · 13/12/2023 16:10

The only time I've had private messages about was the one time I posted on a sex topic and got PM's from men which were not welcome.

Ugh 🙄

I do think as MN gets bigger there's less of a personal feeling to it.
10 years ago i posted in need of help on the pregnancy loss board, and made 2 real life friends because of it. Local enough to meet up with!

CoodleMoodle · 13/12/2023 16:11

I always think about the future when I post on MN. So someone might not read or react my reply at the time because its not relevant to them, but in two years someone else might search for a similar issue the thread will come up and my advice or whatever could help them out instead. Sometimes I add 'mumsnet' to my searches and read through old threads about whatever it is I'm looking for.

Once I googled something when DS was a baby, clicked on a thread and scrolled through a few posts. One stood out as really helpful and exactly what I was going through... Then I looked at the username and it was me from when DD was a baby Grin

Laiste · 13/12/2023 16:13

@CoodleMoodle ha ha yes! I've nodded along with what turned out to be my own posts on old/resurrected threads.

CormorantStrikesBack · 13/12/2023 16:32

ratstsae · 13/12/2023 15:54

I'm not really being that existential about it, what I mean is that we post and reply but nobody is really reading what you say or replying they are just posting their own stuff and at best people just skim read what you write. Essentially that we are all kind of wasting our time contributing to threads.

I don’t think so. I see some really thoughtful and insightful posts on here giving good advice. Peoples lives are changed by help on here and I can think of a couple where lives have been saved.

maybe the light hearted posts might be as you described So if you post a thread asking where people are going on holiday the majority of people who respond might not have read all the comments. Hopefully the OP does though

Butsheisnot · 13/12/2023 16:35

If a thread has gone past 2 or 3 pages I generally don't bother posting. By that point most things have been said or the discussion/argument has diverged.

I find it baffling that 10 pages in, posters will repeat the same answers or ideas posted on page 1. After 10 pages of the same.

merrymerrychristmasall · 13/12/2023 16:39

Yes, all into the void. It’s very Nietzschean up in here with that void and all.

Waitingfordoggo · 13/12/2023 16:43

I’ve often wondered similar OP. I’ve been posting here about 15 years but doubt that anyone would recognise any of the usernames I’ve used in that time. I guess I’m just part of the wallpaper really but I think I’m ok with that. I often use the ‘thanks’ function and use it in same the way I would use ‘like’ on FB. On a couple of occasions, I’ve received a ‘thanks’ on one of my posts and then at least you know someone has read it. (Or possibly has just pressed ‘thanks’ by mistake while scrolling 😂)

Anyway. I see you OP! 👋🏼

GoodOldEmmaNess · 13/12/2023 17:06

"If you post long enough into a void, the void will post back to you."

I'm still waiting for that, Freddy, but meanwhile I'm quite happy talking to myself on MN. It's a bit like talking to my dog: releasing the pressure of words without expectation of response.

It didn't used to be like that. MN threads used to be a genuine conversation. But these days people post as if they were using social media rather than a forum. They just discharge their wordload and move on.

GeneCity · 13/12/2023 17:21

I think MN is really useful overall though - I've learned so many things, and have had an insight into other lives that are very different to mine.

MrsTerryPratchett · 13/12/2023 20:22

ratstsae · 13/12/2023 15:54

I'm not really being that existential about it, what I mean is that we post and reply but nobody is really reading what you say or replying they are just posting their own stuff and at best people just skim read what you write. Essentially that we are all kind of wasting our time contributing to threads.

No. I remember things said to me and others on here repeatedly. And repeat them IRL. It's genuinely changed me. Mostly for the better.

Usernamecreateddone · 13/12/2023 20:28

MrsTerryPratchett · 13/12/2023 20:22

No. I remember things said to me and others on here repeatedly. And repeat them IRL. It's genuinely changed me. Mostly for the better.

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Same here