Star pupil at school - underachiever adult

[BrainInAJar]

Hello

I saw something on another thread that resonated with me. It said lots of kids are great at school but falter as adults.

My parents came from humble beginnings and they and my grandparents really emphasised education and "Getting A Good Job" as the key to life and doing better than they had (they had few options growing up). They assured me all I would need to do is "Study Hard" and "Pass All of My Exams".

I was one of the star pupils all the way through (private) school and supposedly destined for great things. But when I got to uni (top uni, very popular course) I was average on a good day. I went into a profession but have never set the world alight and am now probably underachieving. I've tried a few roles and am now just coasting in a comfortable one.

I suspect part of it is I never learned about the importance of extra curricular activities (I always focused on exams) and networking. (My profession is a bit "old boys' club") I think I did better in school where there was a structure and set expectations. And you didn't need to "know" anyone to get good (exam) results.

My personality is perhaps much too eccentric and introverted to be ruthlessly networking and ambitious.

I feel like I peaked at age 16! (I'm now early 40s).

Having said all that, I'm long past WANTING to work 80hours a week for a 6 fig salary but it's interesting to see folk who did crap at school now long since passing me in "success".

Anyone similar?

I think personality is actually hugely important here. I am a pretty extreme introvert, to the extent that it is almost like a disability in the workplace (eg I can’t work for a whole day in an open plan office). Introverts are more likely to be good at homework (for obvious reasons!) and less likely to be successful in most workplaces. I have been very lucky to find a job where I am an expert (in a niche area of the law) and wfh most of the time, but roles like this are not commonplace. Mostly the higher you go, the more schmoozing and people management you have to do.

There is still rampant sex discrimination in employment. It's just hidden.

There are millions of mediocre men being paid more than meritorious women.

I read a lot of 'work life' balance in many of the responses. Perhaps the bright and academic posters are reflective enough to know what matters in life and not strive to burn themselves out in the rat race.

You are me! I've never really thought about it like this but that's absolutely how I feel about life.

And you could also be me.

This is such a great thread - I have often beaten myself up for not achieving more, but really, it is exactly as others have described for me. I'm not ambitious, quite introverted, can't 'play the game' and school suited me far more than real life. No surprise that I ended up a teacher really.

I knew you were a lawyer straight away, OP! I tick all of the same boxes. I now WFH and work for myself. It really suits me and I make a good living, but it's not the big career job I was expecting!