Do people infantilise you because of your height?

limegin · 2023-12-11T18:50:44+00:00

I am curious as I have read about it before and thought I noticed it the other day. There is a lady at work who is very petite. She is outgoing, smart, outspoken. People sometimes make comments about her being a ‘little firecracker’ etc. It’s not meant in a negative way at all but it got me thinking as there are women of similar personality but taller and I’ve not heard them described as such. More just oh she’s quite outspoken. To me it seems like something you’d describe more as a girl or teenager not a professional woman. If you are below average height do you find people infantilise you ever? Or on other side do you like it when people comment that you’re small but fiery etc?

Loulooop · 11/12/2023 18:53

When I was young 100% yes. I’m in my 40s now and it doesn’t happen anymore (I’m 5’1).

I hated it but was a people-pleaser so said nothing at the time!

treeees · 11/12/2023 18:54

yes I think they do to a certain extent, very annoying

Original poster

limegin · 11/12/2023 18:56

Thank you ladies for your responses. @Loulooop glad it doesn’t happen any more!

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Mummymummy89 · 11/12/2023 19:00

I'm shortish and slim with narrow shoulders, which makes me look even smaller.

But I only had what you describe in my very first year of working (as a teacher) and only the first few months before they got to know me. I guess I'm a bit... I don't know, not very soft or endearing, so I stopped getting it quite quickly. I think it's more a personality thing than a height thing.

I remember once in my NQT year saying to an older-woman colleague, self deprecatingly, after I needed her help with something "oh you know me, I'm a bit fluffy sometimes" and she said very seriously "[Name], you are not fluffy."

I do sometimes see other women getting this and they kind of milk it because it comes with advantages like people being more patient with their mistakes or giving them less annoying stuff to do.

dontcallmelen · 11/12/2023 19:01

When I was younger definitely, not now so much as I’m old but do feel a bit infantilised by clothing as it’s much more difficult finding clothes especially jeans & trousers that fit & have on occasions bought childrens sizes I’m 4ft 10” size 4-6 in old money was a size 8(have stuff in my wardrobe from French Connection years old in sizes ranging from 8-10 fits perfectly) I know this is wasn’t you asked but it’s bloody annoying & shopping a mission.

monsteraa · 11/12/2023 19:01

My MIL is very petite (under 5' I think) and people sometimes do this to her. It annoys me because she is an intelligent and capable person.

Mummymummy89 · 11/12/2023 19:02

In response to the above - I do sometimes buy kids' shoes! So so much cheaper as they aren't taxed the same.

Original poster

limegin · 11/12/2023 19:03

Mummymummy89 · 11/12/2023 19:02

In response to the above - I do sometimes buy kids' shoes! So so much cheaper as they aren't taxed the same.

I’m jealous. No fitting my size 7 whoppers into kids sizes and they do the nicest doc martens kids boots too 😭

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Decafflatteplease · 11/12/2023 19:05

I'm 5 foot and when I was younger people used to tease me about it, rest their arms on my head 🙄 but since I've got older i take no nonsense 😂 sometimes people do a bit of a double take when they meet me but i dont mind it now. And like a PP said, I can buy kids shoes so cheaper!

dontcallmelen · 11/12/2023 19:06

Mummymummy89 · 11/12/2023 19:02

In response to the above - I do sometimes buy kids' shoes! So so much cheaper as they aren't taxed the same.

I buy kids trainers which are much cheaper but really don’t want kids shoes or boots I’m in my sixties, I really think footwear has got bigger though or possibly my feet are shrinking size three did used to fit now it’s 2.5

Beeto · 11/12/2023 19:08

4ft8 and yes I do feel it quite often just with comments or how I’m treated. like the others I buy a lot from the kids section so I don’t have to get trousers altered and shoes because that’s my size, which I don’t think helps!

Original poster

limegin · 11/12/2023 19:09

@Mummymummy89 some people do milk it however my colleague never mentions her height so I never refer to her height either. Well done that woman saying you’re not fluffy. You teachers do an amazing job and you have to be made of stern stuff.

@dontcallmelen I feel for you on the clothes - it sounds a struggle. It it makes you feel ANY better I have an average sized torso but really long arms. I can’t get ‘tall’ tops cos the torso would be too long so have to settle on pretty much all sleeves looking cropped effect 😂

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Original poster

limegin · 11/12/2023 19:10

Decafflatteplease · 11/12/2023 19:05

I'm 5 foot and when I was younger people used to tease me about it, rest their arms on my head 🙄 but since I've got older i take no nonsense 😂 sometimes people do a bit of a double take when they meet me but i dont mind it now. And like a PP said, I can buy kids shoes so cheaper!

Glad you take no nonsense! And so you shouldn’t. Again so jealous of the kid’s shoes. 😩

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Original poster

limegin · 11/12/2023 19:12

dontcallmelen · 11/12/2023 19:06

I buy kids trainers which are much cheaper but really don’t want kids shoes or boots I’m in my sixties, I really think footwear has got bigger though or possibly my feet are shrinking size three did used to fit now it’s 2.5

Show quote history

I have heard vanity sizing has happened. Probably due to people’s feet getting bigger. When I was a teen kids sizes stopped at 4. Which was crap for my parents as I was last a 4 ages about 10! Now it’s up to 5.5!

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TeenDivided · 11/12/2023 19:12

My 19yo is a tad under 5ft.
She gets fed up of being asked if she wants the children's trail at NT places, or the children's menu in restaurants.

I get fed up that I can't find 'workwear' for her that fits (overalls & tough trousers)

user1471453601 · 11/12/2023 19:21

I'd pay good money to see someone attempt to infantalise my 4" " 10 daughter. She's a senior regional manager in her company, and is fierce. A friend of mine who has known her since she was about 10 (43 years ago) once referred to her as "a warrior".

I think the phenomenon the opening poster refers to is more about attitude than height. I once asked my daughter's senior school teacher how they could justify daughter being in the basketball team.years, she was in the school basket ball team. The teacher said " Well, no one has ever told her she's too small,so she just does her thing, and it works". Attitude you see.

Original poster

limegin · 11/12/2023 19:28

user1471453601 · 11/12/2023 19:21

I'd pay good money to see someone attempt to infantalise my 4" " 10 daughter. She's a senior regional manager in her company, and is fierce. A friend of mine who has known her since she was about 10 (43 years ago) once referred to her as "a warrior".

I think the phenomenon the opening poster refers to is more about attitude than height. I once asked my daughter's senior school teacher how they could justify daughter being in the basketball team.years, she was in the school basket ball team. The teacher said " Well, no one has ever told her she's too small,so she just does her thing, and it works". Attitude you see.

I completely agree and your daughter sounds fantastic. You must be so proud

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MadKittenWoman · 11/12/2023 19:59

4" 9''. Use to get lots of attention about it when I was a child / teenager/ early 20s but only in England, not in Italy where my family is from. Not had anyone mention it in decades.

Pebbles16 · 11/12/2023 20:06

Decafflatteplease · 11/12/2023 19:05

I'm 5 foot and when I was younger people used to tease me about it, rest their arms on my head 🙄 but since I've got older i take no nonsense 😂 sometimes people do a bit of a double take when they meet me but i dont mind it now. And like a PP said, I can buy kids shoes so cheaper!

Exactly my experiences... Oh and being on the tube with people men resting their Torygraphs and FTs on my head. Deep joy

Mazuslongtoenail · 11/12/2023 20:09

People constantly say ‘isn’t she tiny’ in front of my DD, it really pisses me off because she’s picked up on it.

But maybe when she’s older she can take a leaf out of my mum’s book who, when told ‘aren’t you small’ by an acquaintance responded with ‘and aren’t you fat’. 😬

I think it was the straw that broke the camels back.

AuntyMabelandPippin · 11/12/2023 20:37

'Though she be but little she is fierce' has been quoted about me on more than one occasion.

user1471453601 · 11/12/2023 20:37

@limegin you better believe I'm proud of her 😁. So was her Nan. We are a very woman centric family. I think that helped.

Inkypot · 11/12/2023 20:43

I get spoken to like a child at times and yes I'm quite a short woman. It usually happens in workplaces or with some particularly tall friends/family. With fiends and family I'm confident to put them in their place. In work it can be tricky depending who it is. I look almost identical to my younger sister except she is 8 inches taller than me, so I do see that she gets treated quite differently to me. She never gets spoken to in the infantilising way that I do for example. It can be annoying but as I've got older I've grown comfortable with using my smallness to my advantage. Being a size 3 shoe and fitting a lot of kids stuff is a bonus at least!

Inkypot · 11/12/2023 20:44

Inkypot · 11/12/2023 20:43

I get spoken to like a child at times and yes I'm quite a short woman. It usually happens in workplaces or with some particularly tall friends/family. With fiends and family I'm confident to put them in their place. In work it can be tricky depending who it is. I look almost identical to my younger sister except she is 8 inches taller than me, so I do see that she gets treated quite differently to me. She never gets spoken to in the infantilising way that I do for example. It can be annoying but as I've got older I've grown comfortable with using my smallness to my advantage. Being a size 3 shoe and fitting a lot of kids stuff is a bonus at least!

Friends not fiends! Though I like my typo so I'm leaving it in.

HRTQueen · 11/12/2023 20:59

Yes I’m 5’1 3/4

I also had a baby face until 40 and a little voice

I didn’t mind I played along I still find people tend to be quite protective over me (I’m 50)

sowm assumptions are annoying that I’m a bit of a princess which is absolutely not true I’m overly independent if anything