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Original poster

Do people infantilise you because of your height?

41 replies

limegin · 11/12/2023 18:50

I am curious as I have read about it before and thought I noticed it the other day. There is a lady at work who is very petite. She is outgoing, smart, outspoken. People sometimes make comments about her being a ‘little firecracker’ etc. It’s not meant in a negative way at all but it got me thinking as there are women of similar personality but taller and I’ve not heard them described as such. More just oh she’s quite outspoken. To me it seems like something you’d describe more as a girl or teenager not a professional woman.

If you are below average height do you find people infantilise you ever? Or on other side do you like it when people comment that you’re small but fiery etc?

OP posts:
Original poster
limegin · 12/12/2023 19:13

Mazuslongtoenail · 11/12/2023 20:09

People constantly say ‘isn’t she tiny’ in front of my DD, it really pisses me off because she’s picked up on it.

But maybe when she’s older she can take a leaf out of my mum’s book who, when told ‘aren’t you small’ by an acquaintance responded with ‘and aren’t you fat’. 😬

I think it was the straw that broke the camels back.

People are so thoughtless aren’t they? 😂 Good on you. I am 5 ft 7 and long arms and legs so I look slim but I am nearly 10 stone so I’m a really healthy BMI and if I turn down a treat at work cos I want to be healthy I get comments about being so skinny or am I eating properly. 🙄

OP posts:
Original poster
limegin · 12/12/2023 19:16

I think the take home from this thread is that it’s RUDE to comment on people’s appearance but people feel they have a free pass if they deem you smaller than usual - be that height wise or slimness!

OP posts:
FrancineBox · 12/12/2023 19:16

People do judge on appearances

honeyfox · 12/12/2023 19:20

Yes when I was younger, I'm 5ft. I wasn't let into my school leavers dance until my friends persuaded the bouncer I should be in there! Don't get it so much any more as I'm in my forties.

LindorDoubleChoc · 12/12/2023 19:25

I am below average height (5ft 2) and the only time I feel it is when I can't reach things on the top shelf at the supermarket, but there's always a perfectly friendly taller person around to ask. At home I get my dh (6ft 4) to do the tall person jobs. People do often comment on the height differance between us but luckily I don't feel infantalised by that. We're both within the norms for our respective sexes.

otherwayup · 12/12/2023 21:35

Yep.
I'm very petite and still get refer to as sweet, cute, dinky etc I'm 52 ffs!!!

Sidge · 12/12/2023 22:16

AuntyMabelandPippin · 11/12/2023 20:37

'Though she be but little she is fierce' has been quoted about me on more than one occasion.

I’ve got that tattooed on me lol.

I am short and blonde and apparently look a bit younger than I am, but definitely looked MUCH younger when I was in my twenties. It was hard to get taken seriously at work by patients, and when I had my eldest child aged 27 I was treated like a teen mum by many people.

Being little has few advantages. I always wanted to be taller but am comfortable (mostly) in my own skin now, after all I’m not going to grow any more.

emmylousings · 12/12/2023 23:53

Yeah lots of comments over the years, being 5.1, but people get all kinds of comments about their looks so you just get on with it, whatever 'it' is. There's no major disadvantages to being short, as a woman. More so for men.

emmylousings · 12/12/2023 23:57

Being able to buy kids clothes is good, no VAT! I'm a boys size 12-13 😏

haggisandcoos · 13/12/2023 00:09

I'm 5'1 and I've NEVER been infantilised as I won't take shit from anyone. I was once told at work that I'm very intimidating! I'm well educated (3 degrees), confident, well dressed and always in heels, as husband is 6'3". Interestingly, people always assume that I'm taller than I actually am.😁

LuluBlakey1 · 13/12/2023 00:10

No, I'm almost 5ft 8 and you don't get many infants my height (or weight).

LuluBlakey1 · 13/12/2023 23:14

haggisandcoos · 13/12/2023 00:09

I'm 5'1 and I've NEVER been infantilised as I won't take shit from anyone. I was once told at work that I'm very intimidating! I'm well educated (3 degrees), confident, well dressed and always in heels, as husband is 6'3". Interestingly, people always assume that I'm taller than I actually am.😁

And you sound very proud of it all.

haggisandcoos · 14/12/2023 00:24

@LuluBlakey1 I don't think that "proud" is the right word unless you are referring to my academic background. I am proud of that, as are my parents, as I was the first person in my extended family to attend university.
I'm not afraid of asking questions when I'm not sure what is meant, as trying to decipher ambiguous statements can lead to misunderstandings. People can sometimes find this intimidating and think they are being challenged when I'm just seeking clarity.
I've also been told that I'm brave. More foolhardy perhaps when I told a young man to take his feet off the opposite seat on a bus.
Re the take no prisoners attitude and being well dressed - it's probably over compensation for being short!

saraclara · 14/12/2023 07:56

haggisandcoos · 14/12/2023 00:24

@LuluBlakey1 I don't think that "proud" is the right word unless you are referring to my academic background. I am proud of that, as are my parents, as I was the first person in my extended family to attend university.
I'm not afraid of asking questions when I'm not sure what is meant, as trying to decipher ambiguous statements can lead to misunderstandings. People can sometimes find this intimidating and think they are being challenged when I'm just seeking clarity.
I've also been told that I'm brave. More foolhardy perhaps when I told a young man to take his feet off the opposite seat on a bus.
Re the take no prisoners attitude and being well dressed - it's probably over compensation for being short!

I'd say big headed rather than proud.

Jeeze.

haggisandcoos · 14/12/2023 13:53

@saraclara Was that really called for? The OP was trying to understand how short people are perceived.
What is wrong with some people? We should be celebrating others' achievements instead of trying to pull them down.

useitorlose · 14/12/2023 14:02

One of my colleagues is 4ft 9, in her 40s with grown up children. When she answers her front door, the caller asks her if her parents are home.

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