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Original poster

I have no godchildren

37 replies

MrsAir · 09/12/2023 13:09

I have three of my own children who I adore and a lovely husband. My children all have godparents but I have no godchildren. This makes me feel like I am not a trusted friend. Some friends have chosen not to have children but it is on my mind. Am I ridiculous? I have a busy social life and my sister has asked me to be a guardian to her children if - godforbid- anything happened to her.

Is this all in my head of does anyone feel the same?

OP posts:
Augustus40 · 09/12/2023 13:11

Most godfathers do zilch so no loss to any children.

ANightingale · 09/12/2023 13:11

It isn't something that's ever occurred to me!

Iloveanicegarden · 09/12/2023 13:12

What do you expect your role to be - really?

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Philosophy & religion
mynameiscalypso · 09/12/2023 13:15

I'm the only person I know with a child who has had them baptised/christened. I am guardian for my niece should anything happen and they likewise for us (although neither of them are godparents)

TomatoSandwiches · 09/12/2023 13:16

Yes, you are being ridiculous and you still have time to be asked so don't count yourself out just yet.

fourelementary · 09/12/2023 13:17

I have a godson. His mum no longer speaks to me so I haven’t seen him in a few years and probably won’t see him or be part of his life tbh.

fedupandstuck · 09/12/2023 13:18

I'm not a godparent to any children, mainly because I am utterly unreligious and anyone who knows me well would never ask me to be one. Your sister asking you to be her children's guardian is much more of a significant thing than being a godparent to a friend's child, which is really a role that starts and ends with the christening in nearly all cases.

devildeepbluesea · 09/12/2023 13:19

I have no godchildren. Two friends in particular you might have expected to ask me. One of these, her annd her DH actually had upwards of 12 godparents for her twins. She was my best friend and I hers.

Both these good friends have had really severe trauma in the last 2 years. I find it mildly amusing that the godparents are all conspicuous by their absence, but I’ve tried to support them and their DC as much as I can. One of these in ways far above and beyond what you’d normally expect.

It does make me think sometimes, but I’ve no real interest in the job.

ginasevern · 09/12/2023 13:25

I suppose if you are religious and you're surrounded by close friends and family whose children have been christened then I guess it might mean something. I'm in my sixties and I don't know anyone at all with god parents and never heard anyone talk about it either. I thought it was a Victorian thing.

All2Well · 09/12/2023 13:27

Are you religious? Godparents are supposed to be examples of the Christian faith who would ensure the child's spiritual development.

Waitingfordoggo · 09/12/2023 13:27

I’m assuming (but could be wrong) that it’s less common to have children christened/baptised than it used to be?

I’m godmother to my husband’s niece. She’s our niece anyway so being her godparents makes no difference to the relationship. Very few of my friends have had their children christened/baptised and if they did, I’d hope they wouldn’t ask me to be godmother as I don’t have any religious faith. (When I agreed to be DN’s godmother, I was a lot younger and didn’t really feel able to say no, but I would if asked now).

NB- I don’t know the difference between Christening and Baptism which is why I’ve written both. Hope I haven’t caused any offence.

DilemmaDelilah · 09/12/2023 13:36

I always ALWAYS wanted to be chosen as a godmother. I have never been chosen. I am a bit sad 😞. I am too old now to be chosen.

Catsmere · 09/12/2023 13:36

Unless you’ve a yen to be a religious example for children it’s a meaningless role. And going on my own long-ago experience of such godparents, it could be a waste of time and an embarrassment the kids could do without!

LakeTiticaca · 09/12/2023 13:36

Unless you are a regular believer and church goer , being a godparent is meaningless.
I know people who are godparents and I have enquired about which church they attend, their reply oh no we never set foot in church. Same with the performative parents who have never set foot in a church but have their children christened.
Why bother, it's so hypocritical

Original poster
MrsAir · 09/12/2023 13:44

I am religious and all my friends seem to have lots of godchildren to be buying Christmas presents and i guess I feel a bit like there’s something wrong with me! Oh well, I will get over it I’m sure!

OP posts:
Finful · 09/12/2023 13:45

I wouldn’t really contemplate this anymore as religion doesn’t feature in my day to day life

SnapdragonToadflax · 09/12/2023 13:48

Neither do I, but I'm not religious and very few of my friends are so hardly surprising. It wouldn't even occur to me, tbh.

DyslexicPoster · 09/12/2023 13:50

Unless your godparents are religious I don't think they matter. Only my sister and best friend even see my kids out of the godparents. The other ones never see them, never ask after them, don't show interest when they are struggling or very sick very unwell..in fact I'd hard pushed to belive they even like them.

It's all a nonsense unless all of you are Christian snd in retrospective I wish I'd not have bovered. Church actually do all the nurturing stuff directly.

It's just a fun day at the time that really doesn't mean anything to anyone for a lot of people. Unless we are super weird. I'm no ones godparent either. Doesn't really enter my head. I'm no ones auntie either which I do feel sadder about

Catsmere · 09/12/2023 13:59

Be glad of less expense at Christmas, OP!

Hellocatshome · 09/12/2023 14:06

Unless the parents of the children are particularly religious it means nothing anyway. My kids don't have Godparents not because I don't trust my friends but because I dont see the point.

QuietBear · 09/12/2023 14:06

If you're a church-goer then it makes sense you would like the opportunity to be a GP to friends' children.

It's definitely a popularity contest.

PeppermintParty · 09/12/2023 14:06

I am in my sixties and it had never even occurred to me until you mentioned it that I have no godchildren.

geoger · 09/12/2023 14:14

I suppose it’s only important if you’re a practicing Christian.
OP are you Greek (I’m Greek) or Italian? Big emphasis on godparents in these cultures and it’s definitely seen as something serious and also an honour to be asked. DH and I are godparents to 6 children (people are obvs under the mistaken impression that we’re good people) Our godchildren are either nieces/nephews or super close family friends. Our relationship would still be the same even if we hadn’t christened them.
Focus on being a fab aunt and don’t worry about being a godmother.

theduchessofspork · 09/12/2023 14:27

You are being nuts

I have have some godchildren from more trad friends who had their kids christened, but I have more friends who didn’t thus their kids have no godparents

Coastalcreeksider · 09/12/2023 14:29

I have a godson, he's 43. His mum is my oldest friend of nearly 60 years.

I don't see him very often but his wider family and his kids I see several times during the year.