If your child does a hobby competitively/at a high end…

[Naptrappedmummy]

How old were they when they started?

DD is 4. I didn’t have any hobbies growing up, but I remember those who played sport/music competitively or at a high level started quite young. I want to give DD this opportunity, so I was just wondering what age your child started, how you decided what they would do, and so on.

(Please know I’m not a pushy parent, if at any point she wants to stop that’s fine, I just don’t want to miss the boat for her to do well if she finds something she really likes)

thank you!

My daughter did competitive gymnastics. Started at age 5. Just "retired" after high school graduation.

My eldest just started gymnastics as she kept climbing on her newborn sister's Moses basket. I just wanted to tire her out a bit. She was 3. They suggested she joined a squad and did 2 sessions. I had no idea what I was actually doing! From there she kept progressing and now does about 20hrs a week at 12.
Her little sister just wanted to follow her. She basically learnt to walk at the gym whilst waiting for her sister. She went to baby classes and progressed from there. She does 14hrs at 9.
They love it but it takes over our lives and we spend a small fortune on fees.

Not sport, but any skill you think will benefit your DC in the future is worth introducing very early.

For mine, it was swimming (I can't swim!) and languages (ex inlaws lived in France, I spoke French a bit, DC started lessons at two and a half). In their 20s now and they swim like fish (I still can't!) and they're fluent in French and Spanish.

Think about your DC, not what you want from them, but what will enhance their life and that they will enjoy. If they hate it, don't force them.

I swam at county level age 9-13, I cannot remember not being able to swim. I know a swimmer who started club swimming age 9, went to the Olympics age 18 (unplaced) and packed it all in at 21. I also know a cyclist who is British Champion in their age/sex/discipline category, who only came to the sport in their teens, and a couple of semi-pro rugby players who also started playing (at all) in their teens. So I don’t think it’s necessarily about starting very young, but all these people have always done some sport. They just filtered out the one they had the enthusiasm and talent for to dedicated time to training in their own time, not their parents’ timescale.

DD 16 is a competitive gymnast, started at age 2 doing a fun toddler class and went from there. It's just been part of her life for so long, if she hadn't enjoyed it we would have stopped it. She has had guitar lessons from about 5 but hasn't taken to it as well, she's trudging through it so there could be an element of natural ability for sport. Agree with pps that if you let your kids try things, they will thrive in what suits them.

Mine started a sport at 4 and my god she loved it. She's now 18 and still trains 3 times a week for several hours.

She's at college, she works and she trains. That is her life. I have never ever pushed her. She just adores it and is very good at it. She competes for her country.

The cost though. OMG!!! Over the years several hundred thousand I suspect in fuel and training costs and god knows what else. And time! Every weekend is her sport. Holidays based around competitions.

But she's talented and loves it.

I thought she may have stepped back more as she got older but no, she's still obsessed.

Although life is much easier now that she can drive.

It's a hard life as a parent if you have a kid that excels at a sport. And it's not something you can force on them.

@Naptrappedmummy we found that summer camps were a great place to try out new sports without any pressure to commit. My son discovered his niche sport at a summer camp between Year 6 and Year 7, and the coach gave him enough encouragement in that one week to make him believe he could progress to an elite level.

At infant school level for football and cricket. Now in teens, one plays cricket for several teams, as competitively as possible, the other just as a fun game with friends.

The best thing you can do is give her the opportunity to try lots of different things to discover what she loves and where her talents lie.

One of mine is a professional sportsperson now - but they did multiple other sports as a child - some they stuck with for years, others got discarded relatively quickly! ( They tried fencing once as it was offered as a school club randomly - didn't last the term - that one was me "encouraging" it because I thought it looked cool 😑)

Start with what is local to you, where you like the staff or volunteers and just be observant about your DDs preferences and skills. Then you can guide her towards things she might like and/or excel in.

Swimming is a life skill so definitely do that if you can!

I think starting music in some form around 4-5 is fantastic - but it really depends on having a class or teacher that is well suited to that age group. Mine joined a local children's choir at that age - though not till the eldest had asked about singing in a choir after I took her to a carol service! Both then ended up at choirschools till 13 at which point they were singing to a high standard they will never lose. For those, one auditioned age 6 the other at age 8 and then successfully age 9. Currently both at uni not studying music but still singing in choirs.

They also started violin lessons in reception; but I would say, instrumental lessons are only worth while if you can access a teacher with training and experience in teaching that age group. (coi - I'm now a Suzuki violin teacher, though I only started that some years after my children's first lessons. I learned Suzuki method myself after my younger sister had been asking for lessons from the age of 3 - she's a professional violinist now). They both kept violin going to a good standard but it eventually came second or third to other instruments.

I'd just expose her to hobbies she is interested in. Ds started gym, cubs and karate at 5. Over the years he went on to do judo, tech club, scootering, swimming and rugby. Age 10 he taught himself to play guitar watching you tube. We then progressed to paying for lessons. St 18 he is an exceptionally talented guitarist and studies at a prestigious performing arts college and has a band. He enjoyed all the activities he did, had fun, new experiences, learnt new skills. He's an amazing swimmer and gained a junior black belt in Karate. We never went into anything expecting him to be competing atca super high level though. We just encouraged and supported his interests and he found his own passion himself - and we then facilitated that. I wouldn't put pressure on your dc to excel at everything she tries
It's about so much more than that.

I think it depends on the sport.

My DD dances. Has from young.

But it needn't be from very young. She tells me all about the Strictly pros and many of them (a lot world champions) "didn't even start until they were 11!" Which to her is ancient 😂

I'm sure there are other things where earlier does matter a lot more. But it's dance that monopolises her life. Although thankfully not competitively as I don't know how I'd be coping with up and down to competitions etc.

For now she's very happy with her dance school shows etc.

Other DD isn't big into anything but is academic and happy as she is. Happy to do the extra curricular stuff at school that takes her fancy. Which is more how I was as a child.

Be careful OP.. I know a few teens whose parents (mums) "decided" that they would be high level athletes when they were 3 or 4. One gymnast had to retire on medical grounds at 10 to protect her joints. One cyclist was actually not that good, so he become an "event tourist" entering events around the country every week to collect enough points to go up the points series - the idea is really to race regionally and progress on high ranking points. It didn't do his self confidence much good to always be placed last. Another 14 year old swimmer is utterly miserable, whilst his parents are still pushing him.

I completed in a sport at a fairly high level in my teens and was constantly surprised by people in my team who would admit they only did it because it was expected of them (eg it was the done thing to do that sport in their family) and not because they particularly enjoyed it. I don't see the point, they all dropped it as soon as they reached adulthood.

Two of my DC play sport at county level (netball and cricket). Both started at age 9.

It doesn't have to be exact sport at 4 but a good grounding in a sport with agility and strength (not dancing) will see her good to move into most sports as she explores what she likes best.
Swimming needs to be early as it is less transferable. If she can swim unaided but has poor technique, it gets harder to correct the longer you leave.

@kitsuneghost What makes you think dancers are not strong and agile?

F

I went to a classical music concert for kids recently, they had a Q&A after the show where the musicians were asked what age they started learning. All said age 4.

My ballet teacher used to dance professionally and said she'd started at age 11, which she said was later than average.

Personally I do think it's good to start young. In our area some activities are hard to access if you don't start at age 4-5, like gymnastics. Just because there is priority rebooking and everyone rebooks, so you can't even get on a course if you want to start at an older age. There are also music schemes which start at age 4 (linked to the conservatoires) and you can't get on them if you don't enrol at the youngest age (except by audition when older, but more competitive).

DS1 had one instrument he began playing around age 10 (started before then but with such a useless teacher he made zero progress even though he loved it. Switched teacher aged 10 and started winning regional awards but said he hated playing in public and preferred just to play privately for fun and as an aid to composition so he dropped all competition elements in his early teens.

He picked up a sport which he played at national level at around age 11.

I have one DC at conservatoire and one who has just been invited onto the development squad for their sport. At 4/5 all they did was a ballet class at school once a week and sang in an occasional children's choir. DC1 (the musician) started 2 instruments at 7 and joined a cathedral choir at 9. DD2 (the sporty one) joined a school gym club at 7 and came jogging with me at a local running shop's weekly 5k session at the same age. Took their sport up at 8 dropped it for most of secondary school in favour of running and football and picked it up again in year 12. It is a niche sport and the equipment doesn't come cheap although nothing to the cost of musical instruments. (WHatever else you do don't encourage your DD to play the harp unless you want a second mortage....)

DS1 has said he is only regret in his childhood is that he didn't start with his brilliant teacher aged 7. He reckoned he'd have been grade 8 by the age of 12 with her if he had. But we were clueless and just went with the shitty peripatetic teacher who taught at their school until a professional musician friend explained.

So my advice fwiw is: the teacher is everything at that age. find someone they love, who likes them and teaches in a way they engage with. His second teacher was all about having fun and doing composition and playing whatever you please. Nothing to do with jumping through the grade hoops. though, ironically, he whizzed through the grades with her, with barely any practise because she was all about technical skill freeing you to play well, not learning set pieces dutifully.

DD is a regional level swimmer and she started swimming at 3.5, was in the academy squad of a club by 8