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Original poster

Does anyone really look younger than their age?

762 replies

smoleyjolie · 04/12/2023 14:10

Online on forums, social media, on dating profiles and even in real life people claim to look younger than their age, they are X age but don't look it. They get ID's in the supermarket buying wine.

I am always highly sceptical because I've know people who say to my face how they look like they are 25 when they are actually 38 because they have no lines or wrinkles when I am looking at them and thought they were actually in their 40's and they have obvious wrinkles and grey hair, people are delusional! Honestly the capacity people have to delude themselves about anything is quite staggering and I have never met someone who claims to look younger and it actually turn out to be true.

When I was younger I thought some older people looked younger so I once thought a woman when she was 49 was closer to 30 but that was because I assumed all people of 49 looked "old" which isn't the case at all and looking back she looked great but she also looked her age which is fine.

Going back to the first case where the women was convinced she looked over 10 years younger, what could I say I just said yeah you look great and its the same anytime anyone makes that claim. People aren't going to dispute it.

OP posts:
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26
Gwenhwyfar · 07/12/2023 18:35

"of course you do. Ageing doesn’t kick in until later."

Disagree. We are always ageing. There may be pinch points like menopause or after an illness, but we are changing all the time.

Gwenhwyfar · 07/12/2023 18:37

smoleyjolie · 06/12/2023 01:34

Look at that Bryan Johnson guy he claims to be biologically 37 or 18 depending on what body part he is talking about but he looks his age 45 and he also looks like crap, he looks like Data from star trek weird and unhealthy and he spends millions to reverse ageing and treats it like a fulltime job.

It isn't illogical to say people can look older but not younger because its the truth see your David Sinclair and creepy Brian Johnson for a start. Perhaps its better to say people can look better or worse at a particular age or that they can look healthier or unhealthier for their age but they don't look younger, I have yet to see it.

I know you and many want it to be true that one can look years younger but its just self delusion.

Show quote history

You're obviously into longevity, but not everyone is so maybe you can share some photos.

Gwenhwyfar · 07/12/2023 18:38

Luckyduc · 06/12/2023 07:32

I think alot of people who think they look younger because they get asked for I.d don't realise it's not because we think they don't look old enough but that management have told us to ask anyone who looks under the age of 30 or 40. So I'd I I.d you and you're 29 ..no its not because I thought you looked 18 or under its because you look under 40 and our company isn't willing to get another £300,000 fine and staff are told we will be sacked. With companies deliberately getting people to test their staff, we don't risk it.

No because the rest of us don't get IDed constantly.

Gwenhwyfar · 07/12/2023 18:41

Fizbosshoes · 06/12/2023 08:35

Hair, make up, fashion mannerisms etc can influence (imo) how old we think someone is.
Eg Margaret Thatcher when she came into power seems way older than Sophie Raworth or Kylie Minogue today.

At the Neighbours reunion Kylie was there with Scott, Mike and Jane and Jane was the only one who had aged naturally. It looked quite odd.

Goldenbear · 07/12/2023 18:42

workshy46 · 07/12/2023 18:01

I have regularly been mistaken for my husbands daughter - he looks young too
I look in and around my age - the reason being is that its a quick glance, usually indoors or out doors with sun glasses and I have a v young body and I move like a young person
Youth it virtually impossible to replicate, maybe until 45 its hard to tell but I have met maybe 2/3 people in my entire lifetime that look significantly younger than they are. Of course people act surprised when you tell them your age, its rude not to. I act surprised and say oh you look much younger even when i think they look much order !!

You think 'youth' is anything under 45, what? That's over half of most people's lives.

The thread isn't about people delusional about looking like they are younger than 45 (this is just some arbitrary age that one poster has declared is aged) it is about whether people are delusional when they think they look younger than they are. That means the OP is suggesting someone who is 66 but looks mid fifties and gets told this is actually delusional. How many people go around stating someone looks younger than they are why say anything. So if you are talking about music from your youth and someone agrees with you, joins in, like a colleague at work, rather than carry on the conversation you say, "goodness can I just say, you don't look old enough for this music to be from your youth". That is truly odd.

slithytoveisascientist · 07/12/2023 18:44

I still often get id'd in my late thirties
I'm fat and wear hoodies 🤷‍♀️

slithytoveisascientist · 07/12/2023 18:45

HeavenCANTwait · 04/12/2023 14:54

You tell me? How old am I? Photo taken 2 seconds ago

(I occasionally get told I look younger)

44

Gwenhwyfar · 07/12/2023 18:46

scottishGirl · 06/12/2023 11:14

I was told yesterday by someone I just met that I should "enjoy my youth" and that I look "youthful"....I'm 31...to me that's something I would say to someone who is mid 20s and younger 🤷🏼‍♀️

I tell my early thirties colleague to enjoy her youth all the time!

Gwenhwyfar · 07/12/2023 18:47

Fionaville · 06/12/2023 20:35

I think everyone who has posted photos looks their age and I'd guessed about right for all of them. All are pretty and have great skin/hair, so I think the 'Wow you don't look your age' comments probably just mean that you look great for your age. I think half of it comes from the fact that our inner image of what a woman of 40+ looks like, is still influenced by our youths. I read today that Shirley Valentine was 40! I watched it as a teen. Even though I'm older than that now, there's obviously still an image in my head that women of that age have perms, slight jowls and wear pleated skirts with blouses! 😆

The actress was late 40s though

Goldenbear · 07/12/2023 18:53

Gwenhwyfar · 07/12/2023 18:35

"of course you do. Ageing doesn’t kick in until later."

Disagree. We are always ageing. There may be pinch points like menopause or after an illness, but we are changing all the time.

Yes, exactly. I don't understand how it is regularly difficult to determine age between 20 and 45!! I mean that's ridiculous, it's like people are regularly finding it difficult to determine if someone is 22 or 42. The notion of putting some young clothes on and make up, is the reason behind this is laughable. People think I'm younger when I don't wear make up as like I said before you can look plain and younger, it is not always a beauty thing which is why I think many posters are uppity about it. I have found that having put on weight has aged me.

FlowerPants · 07/12/2023 18:56

moomoomoo27 · 07/12/2023 12:24

It's not all it's cracked up to be, honestly. I'm at the age now where it's just plain embarrassing. When I went to Paris the museum and attraction staff kept asking me how old I was, because there's a discounted ticket system everywhere if you're under 25. I kept having to awkwardly tell everyone I'm 38, and then they were embarrassed in return. My partner is several years younger than me and wasn't asked once.

I had some workmen round and mentioned I was tired (I work a lot of hours, often till 2am), one of the apprentices said, "I know how you feel, I'm a student too."

Then the other day I was in a meeting where a woman went into a long story about how well I was doing for myself to take on big responsibilities at such a young age, and launched into a very long story about a 22 year old she'd met recently and how impressed she was by our generation. I felt like I had to tell her my age, at which point she literally screeched and said "tell me your secrets!!" It was so awkward (and irrelevant to what we were talking about).

It's honestly really embarrassing. No one takes me seriously and I can feel people in their fifties and sixties practically giving me a virtual pat on the head. It's impossible to be an authority on anything because people just assume I don't know what I'm doing in industries I've been in for nearly two decades. They assume I can't make contributions to conversations for things I'm perfectly capable of remembering, like 9/11 and Tony Blair, because they don't think I was born (!)

People have been saying to me "you'll appreciate it when you're older," but I'm yet to see that. It's cost me so many opportunities because people have listened or accepted people who just look older and more authoritative (even when what they're saying is rubbish) instead of me.

I have a successful business I've built from the ground up, absolute scratch, took years of non-stop blood sweat and tears, and people ask me or just outright assume my parents or partner funded it.

I'd rather look my age and be taken seriously. By the time that happens I'll probably be retiring age and people will assume I've retired young or something 🙄

Edited

This is exactly how it was for me!

I think my personality played into it a lot, being cheerful and deferential by nature. Even now, it seems hard to take me seriously. I was also pretty fit, and lively. And didn't have kids, which probably means I had about 10 years more sleep than most women my age 😃

Once I hit 60, though, it all went to pot. I can't help thinking of a mug in my friend's kitchen, "I try to take it one day at a time... But lately several days have attacked me at once" 😉 Just substitute "years" for "days" 😎

Original poster
smoleyjolie · 07/12/2023 18:56

Gwenhwyfar · 07/12/2023 18:37

You're obviously into longevity, but not everyone is so maybe you can share some photos.

Show quote history

Not especially but I saw an interview with him somewhere.

OP posts:
buckingmad · 07/12/2023 19:00

I’m 29 and I got ID’d for superglue and for calpol (for my daughter but she wasn’t with me at the time). I recently started a new job and a colleague didn’t know my experience and assumed I was a straight out of sixth form apprentice and was incredibly patronising 😂

I do think my actual face looks my age, but I am small and petite framed and I think people don’t see past that when aging me.

Goldenbear · 07/12/2023 19:01

The Shirley Valentine reference is a bit of an odd example of preconceived ideas of 40 somethings as she was close to 50 and she is down trodden and doesn't live a fun, stimulating life, she is stuck in a rut, that is the premise of the storyline. Life has taken its toll, I certainly don't relate to lots of my Mum's friends looking like that at 40.

LePanthere · 07/12/2023 19:20

I’m always being told by people they thought I was much older than 35.
I wish they would keep their opinions to themselves.
why do people feel the need to comment on their age- and why is being ‘young’ a complement?

FlowerPants · 07/12/2023 19:30

LePanthere · 07/12/2023 19:20

I’m always being told by people they thought I was much older than 35.
I wish they would keep their opinions to themselves.
why do people feel the need to comment on their age- and why is being ‘young’ a complement?

That is a very good question, @LePanthere .

My DH is a lot younger than me and totally not fascinated by youth or beauty. Just as well, really, as time goes on! 😜

But our culture has no space for age and wisdom. Not that I can particularly lay any claim to the latter.

Fionaville · 07/12/2023 19:36

@Goldenbear @Gwenhwyfar My reason for referencing Shirley Valentine, is that I think subconsciously some of us think of 40 plus women, as having that look. As that was certainly the style of middle aged women when I was a teenager (like my mum, perm and long pleated skirts) Most of them dressed frumpier. Of course most of us don't dress like that anymore. So when people say "You don't look over 40" what they subconsciously mean is 'You don't look like middle aged women look like in my head' It's just a theory I have.

Gwenhwyfar · 07/12/2023 19:37

smoleyjolie · 07/12/2023 18:56

Not especially but I saw an interview with him somewhere.

Show quote history

Yeah, but my point is that other people may not know who they are.

Gwenhwyfar · 07/12/2023 19:38

" So when people say "You don't look over 40" what they subconsciously mean is 'You don't look like middle aged women look like in my head' It's just a theory I have."

No, I don't think most people are comparing with the 40 year olds of their youth, but with other 40 yeard olds that they know.

CostelloJones · 07/12/2023 21:30

I’m early 30s and got ID’d the other day.
I know I look younger than I am (especially without makeup) but I did think it was silly 😂

But honestly…. Does it matter? Even if people are a bit deluded, let them be!

highandwindymoors · 07/12/2023 21:56

Delatron · 05/12/2023 10:37

This is a good point actually - yes there are people in their 80s who look like they’re in their 60s for sure. That’s when exercise, good genes, looking after yourself all kick in more.

I think quite a bit of the most dramatic ageing happens in our 40s that’s why most 50 years olds look within 5 years of their age. Definitely not like they’re in their 30s. Then it levels out a bit.

Show quote history

This rather contradicts your earlier statement:

Many people don’t have wrinkles when they’re 40. But menopause will deal a big blow - huge loss of oestrogen. It’s not the wrinkles it’s gravity and inevitable sagging.

There is no universal way that women's faces age. Some of it is genetic, most of it is lifestyle, including diet and exercise, and a large part is attitude.

Some of it is skin type, and some of it is scaffolding. And some of it is down to exercising the face by smiling and laughing and seeing the good in things as opposed to being a misery guts, which drags the face and mouth down.

VDUBCV4 · 07/12/2023 22:12

I need to read the whole thread. It does make me laugh when watching old Dinner Date and sometimes the young ones says - you're 28, you only look 26.

50 is ancient. Now I'm there I'm going for looking good for my age as in I'm still interested in clothes and make up. I don't think I look younger just look nice.

SallyWD · 07/12/2023 22:57

You can look really good and not look young. My friend's mum is 60 and looks gorgeous. No she doesn't look like a 25 year old but she looks radiant and attractive.

OhHowTheDogsStackUp · 07/12/2023 23:22

I don't know why everyone has settled on 40 as being the age of apparent delusion.

Even as a teenager, people thought I was younger than I was. I had short hair as a younger teenager and people used to think I was my friend's boyfriend.

People thought I was a teenager when I was in my twenties.

In my late twenties and early thirties people thought I was at university.

Now in my very early forties, people think I'm early thirties.

That's either a lifetime of delusional behaviour on my part, a lifetime of being lied to across the board by everyone I met, or possibly I might just come across to other people as being younger than I am.

Rummikub · 08/12/2023 01:24

Similar experience to
me. I just looked younger than my years 🤷🏽‍♀️

until now!