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Original poster

I don't know what to say.

47 replies

Shithole101 · 04/12/2023 13:29

This is going to sound awful I don't mean it to I just don't know how to word or explain it well .

I have been going to a group that's for parents of children with emotional disregulation. We have been asked in the last week that we pick a person and write in a card something that person said that helped us personally. This sounds absolutely awful but I can't think of anything.

OP posts:
Celerylover · 04/12/2023 13:30

How about the person who suggested this group? And their suggestion for it?

Seas164 · 04/12/2023 13:31

Just pick something like, Janet it's always so good to see your smiling face, thank you for your positivity. A bit of poetic license is fine, you're not writing it under oath, it's just something to make someone else feel good.

Iateallllllthepies · 04/12/2023 13:31

Make something up that you would have like to have heard/that you would say to someone in that situation?

I did that once for a similar thing. Couldn’t think of a single
thing anyone had ever said to help me out, sadly. So I just put down what I would have wished someone had said.

Original poster
Shithole101 · 04/12/2023 13:32

Celerylover · 04/12/2023 13:30

How about the person who suggested this group? And their suggestion for it?

I don't understand what you mean

OP posts:
maslinpan · 04/12/2023 13:34

You could write the name of the person who leads the group, or the person who told you about it in the first place.

Original poster
Shithole101 · 04/12/2023 13:34

Iateallllllthepies · 04/12/2023 13:31

Make something up that you would have like to have heard/that you would say to someone in that situation?

I did that once for a similar thing. Couldn’t think of a single
thing anyone had ever said to help me out, sadly. So I just put down what I would have wished someone had said.

I don't think I can. Do that because if I do a card for say Karen. And Karen has never said that thing it's not going to work

OP posts:
Deliasdelilahs · 04/12/2023 13:35

If you can't remember what somebody said, I would go with how somebody made you feel

dontgobaconmyheart · 04/12/2023 13:35

Can you not speak to them and opt out? Ultimately it sounds as though the group is intended as a support, it's not school homework where you'll be getting into trouble.

I'd just apologise and say I wasn't able to think of anything and didn't want to be disingenuous but thank others for their inclusions.

ApolloandDaphne · 04/12/2023 13:35

Has no one at the group ever said anything nice to you? Have you or your child been complimented on anything? Even if it was just a new hat or something?

Original poster
Shithole101 · 04/12/2023 13:35

maslinpan · 04/12/2023 13:34

You could write the name of the person who leads the group, or the person who told you about it in the first place.

Its through CAMHS so ots not a group that was created by a parent

OP posts:
Celerylover · 04/12/2023 13:35

Sorry maybe I'm confused but I assume somebody suggested going to this group?
And this group is hopefully helping/helpful so maybe writing down the person/people who have led you here and their suggestions to start the group is the thing you can write down?

hopeishere · 04/12/2023 13:37

Someone must have said something useful during the time you have been going? If not don't bother.

Jellycatspyjamas · 04/12/2023 13:39

Is there anyone in the group that has been friendly or supportive? You don’t need to recall their exact words “Shirley thanks for being so welcoming and friendly, it’s helped me find my feet”.

Original poster
Shithole101 · 04/12/2023 13:40

ApolloandDaphne · 04/12/2023 13:35

Has no one at the group ever said anything nice to you? Have you or your child been complimented on anything? Even if it was just a new hat or something?

No the only thing that sticks out a little is when somone was going on and on about all the free time and luxury she got. And that made me realise shit i don't get any time . So that made me start telling people no . So that was a wake up call. But o should like a bitch when I say it like in this post.

OP posts:
CluelessHamster · 04/12/2023 13:40

I always really struggle with this sort of thing. I'd probably email the group leader and tell them you're struggling with it and would prefer to just sit that part of the meeting out without having attention drawn to you about it.

Or just not go next week!

hopeishere · 04/12/2023 13:41

X helped me realise that I need to value myself more and prioritise my own needs. Thank you.

getofftheplane · 04/12/2023 13:42

"Thank you to X for being so open and honest about X - this really helped me think more about my own situation and given me the nudge I needed to make important changes for myself"

sandyhappypeople · 04/12/2023 13:42

What about picking anything that someone has said, literally anything you can think of that is remotely similar to your situation and just say that you appreciate what that person said because it made you realise you are not alone and it helps to know other people are in a similar situation.

don’t overthink it, you don’t have to think of anything super meaningful.

Original poster
Shithole101 · 04/12/2023 13:44

Jellycatspyjamas · 04/12/2023 13:39

Is there anyone in the group that has been friendly or supportive? You don’t need to recall their exact words “Shirley thanks for being so welcoming and friendly, it’s helped me find my feet”.

I could say something to the group as a whole . But not to one person.

OP posts:
Stephisaur · 04/12/2023 13:45

@Shithole101 So you write

"Dear (woman who has all the free time in the world, lucky cow),

Thank you for speaking so openly about your life. You helped me realise how I could change mine for the better. I am grateful for that opportunity.

Sincerely

Shithole" (preferably use your real name 😂)

Original poster
Shithole101 · 04/12/2023 13:46

sandyhappypeople · 04/12/2023 13:42

What about picking anything that someone has said, literally anything you can think of that is remotely similar to your situation and just say that you appreciate what that person said because it made you realise you are not alone and it helps to know other people are in a similar situation.

don’t overthink it, you don’t have to think of anything super meaningful.

Yes possibly but I could only do that as a group not to one person.

OP posts:
AnneLovesGilbert · 04/12/2023 13:46

hopeishere · 04/12/2023 13:41

X helped me realise that I need to value myself more and prioritise my own needs. Thank you.

Exactly this.

Aquamarine1029 · 04/12/2023 13:48

You're making this way more complicated than it is. Pick a person, write something nice like "Listening to your struggles has shown me that we aren't alone in all this and that we are so lucky to have found this support." Job done.

Original poster
Shithole101 · 04/12/2023 13:51

Stephisaur · 04/12/2023 13:45

@Shithole101 So you write

"Dear (woman who has all the free time in the world, lucky cow),

Thank you for speaking so openly about your life. You helped me realise how I could change mine for the better. I am grateful for that opportunity.

Sincerely

Shithole" (preferably use your real name 😂)

Oh gosh. This is going to sound awful but as much as it made me realise I have to start saying no and it has started having a positive effect. I don't want her to reply to me and start banging on about the luxury and time she has for herself. I knlw I should not and I'm a massive hypocrite but I start judging. I don't say it. But i think it

OP posts:
SwordToFlamethrower · 04/12/2023 13:52

Seems really fake and hard work :/

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