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Original poster

I don't know what to say.

47 replies

Shithole101 · 04/12/2023 13:29

This is going to sound awful I don't mean it to I just don't know how to word or explain it well .

I have been going to a group that's for parents of children with emotional disregulation. We have been asked in the last week that we pick a person and write in a card something that person said that helped us personally. This sounds absolutely awful but I can't think of anything.

OP posts:
Original poster
Shithole101 · 04/12/2023 13:53

SwordToFlamethrower · 04/12/2023 13:52

Seems really fake and hard work :/

I feel a little like that. But I guess its mot for others

OP posts:
KateyCuckoo · 04/12/2023 13:54

Aquamarine1029 · 04/12/2023 13:48

You're making this way more complicated than it is. Pick a person, write something nice like "Listening to your struggles has shown me that we aren't alone in all this and that we are so lucky to have found this support." Job done.

This OP always makes things way complicated than they need to be.

Original poster
Shithole101 · 04/12/2023 13:57

KateyCuckoo · 04/12/2023 13:54

This OP always makes things way complicated than they need to be.

Show quote history

Some things are simple and easy for one person. But may not be for another . What did you gain by that comment?

OP posts:
Mayhemmumma · 04/12/2023 14:00

I would go for something vague

Dear X

Thank you for helping me feel part of this group, the support is so important to me and my family.

From S H

AncientBallerina · 04/12/2023 14:12

Honestly do people not realize how difficult it is to have a child with mental health difficulties? You are in a near constant state of high alert. Everything IS difficult and exhausting.

sandyhappypeople · 04/12/2023 14:17

SwordToFlamethrower · 04/12/2023 13:52

Seems really fake and hard work :/

I think this too, I like the sentiment behind it but if people are forced to do and can’t think what to say then it doesn’t really mean anything surely? I think the way this should be done is to only do it if you feel you WANT to, not because you have to.

are you sure you even have to do it?

Original poster
Shithole101 · 04/12/2023 14:26

AncientBallerina · 04/12/2023 14:12

Honestly do people not realize how difficult it is to have a child with mental health difficulties? You are in a near constant state of high alert. Everything IS difficult and exhausting.

Yep definitely. And it does make you question things that normally you would not. And things that should be simple are not.

OP posts:
Whataretheodds · 04/12/2023 14:29

Shithole101 · 04/12/2023 13:46

Yes possibly but I could only do that as a group not to one person.

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I think that's fine though

Original poster
Shithole101 · 04/12/2023 14:29

sandyhappypeople · 04/12/2023 14:17

I think this too, I like the sentiment behind it but if people are forced to do and can’t think what to say then it doesn’t really mean anything surely? I think the way this should be done is to only do it if you feel you WANT to, not because you have to.

are you sure you even have to do it?

Show quote history

I think so as it says about writing a card to said person. I think it should be done In away that you can say 1 thing you can take away from the group . That way it's said as a whole not a particular person then there's no preasure. Maybe that's what I will do

OP posts:
Bernardmanning · 04/12/2023 14:31

Has someone else been really candid and opened up and as a result created an open safe environment where you feel that you can be open and share things in future with the group?

Original poster
Shithole101 · 04/12/2023 14:34

Bernardmanning · 04/12/2023 14:31

Has someone else been really candid and opened up and as a result created an open safe environment where you feel that you can be open and share things in future with the group?

No. I don't think I'm understanding what you mean

OP posts:
Original poster
Shithole101 · 04/12/2023 14:34

Bernardmanning · 04/12/2023 14:31

Has someone else been really candid and opened up and as a result created an open safe environment where you feel that you can be open and share things in future with the group?

No. I don't think I'm understanding what you mean

OP posts:
OneFrenchEgg · 04/12/2023 14:34

I imagine it's about ensuring people feel valued as well as receiving support. So they need everyone to have an individual comment

Original poster
Shithole101 · 04/12/2023 14:38

OneFrenchEgg · 04/12/2023 14:34

I imagine it's about ensuring people feel valued as well as receiving support. So they need everyone to have an individual comment

Probably but then what if someone does not get a card or someone get 2/3. Others get none

OP posts:
Avatartar · 04/12/2023 14:39

Hmmm do you get anything positive or supportive from the group, as it’s sounds as if you don’t and i wonder if you should leave it? If you do but not all from one person, i think you have to address it to the group rather than an individual and say it’s the group therapy with lots of thoughts and feelings that give you collective strength- either do one card for the group or do one for everybody saying the same thing in each - other option is do one and address it to the leader/organiser with same content inside

OneFrenchEgg · 04/12/2023 14:40

@Shithole101 yes I agree I can just see what the exercise is having been subjected to them/been on the other side

SaltyGod · 04/12/2023 14:41

I wouldn’t over complicate and I think some of the suggestions above work well.

How about,

‘Thank you for being there and supporting us, this group has been so valuable to me.

Through getting to know you and listening to you comments, I have come to realise the value of my time. This has encouraged me to set better boundaries across different aspects of my life and is something I will continue to take forward.

Thank you again for your contribution’

Original poster
Shithole101 · 04/12/2023 14:43

Avatartar · 04/12/2023 14:39

Hmmm do you get anything positive or supportive from the group, as it’s sounds as if you don’t and i wonder if you should leave it? If you do but not all from one person, i think you have to address it to the group rather than an individual and say it’s the group therapy with lots of thoughts and feelings that give you collective strength- either do one card for the group or do one for everybody saying the same thing in each - other option is do one and address it to the leader/organiser with same content inside

I think I have always been on a different level/wave length to other people in the group. I think it should be a group thing

OP posts:
hopeishere · 04/12/2023 14:46

Just don't do it if you can't think of anything.

Original poster
Shithole101 · 04/12/2023 14:48

hopeishere · 04/12/2023 14:46

Just don't do it if you can't think of anything.

I can't rally sit there infront of 15 people and say I'm not doing it

OP posts:
Original poster
Shithole101 · 04/12/2023 14:52

SaltyGod · 04/12/2023 14:41

I wouldn’t over complicate and I think some of the suggestions above work well.

How about,

‘Thank you for being there and supporting us, this group has been so valuable to me.

Through getting to know you and listening to you comments, I have come to realise the value of my time. This has encouraged me to set better boundaries across different aspects of my life and is something I will continue to take forward.

Thank you again for your contribution’

I think you right. The person does pee me of a bit but the fact stands that she did make me realise something and I have changed it. Which has had a positive effect on me. And she probably deserves to hear that .

OP posts:
Mothmansknickers · 04/12/2023 14:55

Don't do it. I doubt anyone would notice and if they do, be truthful and say you couldn't think of anything.

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