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Original poster

What would your pet be like...

38 replies

WeneedSamVimesonthecase · 04/12/2023 11:09

...If they got changed into a human?

My dog would be an early 20s male. Cute (I see him as looking like a petite version of Bobby from Strictly), sporty, and brighter than he lets on, he loves nothing more kicking a ball round the park and then going for a pint with his mates (my dog genuinely loves a pub).

Despite being a bit loud and a tad over-protective ("Mum, mum! A dog walked past our house! I know, right? The cheek! But don't worry, I shouted at it till it went away), he's too sweet and affectionate not to love.

The cat, though....the cat would be a right bastard. A big, handsome ginger brute in his mid-40s, he'd lure you in by seeming charming and loving, then suddenly turn vicious and mean without warning. I'd have to throw him out of the house - but then he'd just lurk in the garden, glaring at me through the window and shouting to be let back in.

How about yours? 😆

OP posts:
HRTQueen · 04/12/2023 11:18

My cat would be a 95 year old cranky entitled man who believes others are just around for his benefit changes his mind over his dinner often, makes unreasonable demands and passively aggressively makes life more difficult

he would be a bit of a creep too as very affectionate when he wants to be and likes to watch you in the shower and sitting on the toilet

Davros · 04/12/2023 11:32

My cat would be a sweet and charming older lady who is friendly to strangers and loves her family

NectarinesAreNotTheOnlyFruit · 04/12/2023 11:43

I have cats. They think the world revolves around them, and are affectionate when they want something. They give people presents that they themselves like regardless of whether anyone else would want them. They think nothing of disturbing people when they are asleep, and get cross when we won't get up in the morning to feed them. They leave mess behind them constantly, and expect me to clear it up. They constantly demand food, and bicker over how much they have compared to their sibling. When they come in wet, they expect me to dry and warm them, and they leave muddy footprints EVERYWHERE.

So, in short, they would be like my children.

MagpiePi · 04/12/2023 11:54

I think my cat would be an ageing punk. A bit wary of strangers and not that sociable due to a rough start in life. Still dark and handsome and generally happy to sit in the warm listening to a bit of Jesus and Mary Chain, with the occasional Friday night catnip. But also going on the odd mad, bender; staying out all night and not eating the next day due to a horrendous hangover, or bringing his lively mouse mates back for a pogo round my bedroom at 3am.
Not sure how to account for the dead mice/birds/rats in human terms!

BarefootbyMoonlight · 04/12/2023 11:59

My two little old lady cats are the embodiment of both main characters in Whatever happened to Baby Jane?

Including regular bickering, occasional slaps & underlying murderous intent

Tarkan · 04/12/2023 12:02

Dog one would be a 91 year old white haired grumpy man who would shout at anyone who dared come near our house.

Dog two would be an 84 year old white haired man who would still be chatting up all the young women (and some men) when out and about. He would more than likely be accused of inappropriate behaviour if he was left unattended.

Dog three would be a 70 year old but still much younger at heart Romanian immigrant who would be a regular in all the local pubs and loved by everyone. Despite his age he would still have a swoosh of brownish hair but with some grey speckles through it.

GameOverBoys · 04/12/2023 12:02

My dog would be a very handsome teenage drama queen. Desperate for attention constantly and willing to do anything to get it. He’d get straight A’s without trying and be able to eat whatever he wants without putting on weight. I feel like he might be insta famous or go viral for something.

Mrsjayy · 04/12/2023 12:06

my dog would be the cute but annoying kid that hang about with the adults in the playground "telling on everybody" he's probably about 6 years old !

Original poster
WeneedSamVimesonthecase · 04/12/2023 12:14

I'm loving these! Some real characters here, I can just picture them!

OP posts:
hermioneee · 04/12/2023 12:21

Dog: 12 year old boy. Loved by all the other mums as so polite and well mannered. Always with a smile on his face. All the other 12 year old boys find him annoying and incredibly uncool and try hard, but he doesn't care, he'll hang out with them anyway,

HowDoYouExpectMeToGrowIfYouWontLetMeBlow · 04/12/2023 12:24

May cat would be a ginger Joan Collins

Lynca · 04/12/2023 12:39

Dog 1 would be one of those easygoing blokes that chats and makes friends with anyone and everyone. Everybody loves him. Very protective of his younger sister even though she's kind of annoying. Not afraid to admit he loves his Mum.
Was kind of average in school but is climbing the ladder in business management due to his personable nature.

Dog 2 would be a peppy 16 year old who jumps into situations with both feet before realising she's in over her head and expects her big bro to bail her out. Very sweet and does well in school but somewhat naive. Planning to take a gap year and go travelling when she finishes school, YOLO.

Riverlee · 04/12/2023 12:45

My dog would be a shy, sensitive soul who is really affectionate and loving, once he gets to know you. He wouldn’t be your leader, but would be your reliable friend.

ismu · 04/12/2023 12:50

My dog would be like a 20 year old Lewis Capaldi- spends all day cosying in by the fire or snuggling up on the sofa, looking after everyone and being lovely, but then briefly goes out on walks where he goes off on one at anything/ anyone he deems unexpected, can't control his emotions and shouts noises at people and dogs to get them to interact, then when he realises what he's done is devastated
And all the girls love him

SlippinJanie · 04/12/2023 12:56

Cat 1: Christopher Biggins
Cat 2: Joan Collins

autienotnaughty · 04/12/2023 12:57

A toddler with adhd

CrunchyCarrot · 04/12/2023 12:58

My cat would be a 20-something body builder, into athletics and generally anything involving physical activity, out at the gym for hours. He would be the type who treats your house as a hotel but when you point that out to him, tilts his head in a really cute way with a winning smile so you instantly forgive him. Then later you'd inwardly rage because you didn't lay down the law! He certainly doesn't have a mean bone in his body and is very affectionate, when it suits him to be of course.

His brother, a few years younger (now sadly on the Rainbow Bridge) was totally different, as a person he'd have been more shy than outgoing big bro, but he did get up to mischief in the neighbourhood, usually after dark. Daintier in build than big bro, more handsome but didn't know that he was. Was learning taxidermy, always bringing home new animals but I think lost interest in the process once he got them home. A sensitive soul, he did get picked on occasionally by the local bully but often big bro stepped in to protect him.

TomatoSandwiches · 04/12/2023 13:04

Girl cat: Grace Jones with a foot fetish.
Boy cat: Brian Blessed with FOMO & a penchant for baked bean juice.

SingingSands · 04/12/2023 13:04

My cat would be an elderly ex-boxer who's had too many bouts in the ring and is a bit doddery on his feet, has cauliflower ears, is mostly deaf, but still beefy in stature.

He'd be happy with whatever you put in front of him for dinner, just as long as he can eat x6 dinner per day.

He'd fall asleep on the sofa and take up too much room.

C0keZer0 · 04/12/2023 13:09

my dog would be a stick thin, high end fashion super model. Early 20s with too much energy and a possible split personality disorder, he would also be bi sexual and very promiscuous. He'd be rich, stinking rich and only ever eat out/room service in 6* hotels. He'd have no friends and wouldn't care.

Missingmyusername · 04/12/2023 13:10

My Lab would be a 77 year old man, very excited and always hungry. Stares a bit when you’re eating.

LoveHema · 04/12/2023 13:11

Dog 1 would be a squat sporty little man with a buzz cut in his 40s, probably a prepper, quick temper, always ready for action and a good laugh.
Dog 2 would be a scary 30 year old man with a police record, ex child in care, very bright, no confidence, no independent social skills whatsoever but, inside, just a huge softie wanting to be loved and happy with very little.
Dog 3 would be the scion of landed gentry, tall, handsome, confident, a little entitled, very impressive in his own right, fun and a charmer with his loved one, suspicious of outsiders.

Sgtmajormummy · 04/12/2023 13:13

DDog would be a gangly nerd in his early 30s, desperate for a girlfriend and misguidedly over sociable.
Howard from the Big Bang Theory, maybe.

Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 04/12/2023 13:14

My dog would be one of those gorgeous but neurotic women who keep everyone at a distance with their thousand-yard-stare and then complain that they don't have any friends.

LoveHema · 04/12/2023 13:16

Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 04/12/2023 13:14

My dog would be one of those gorgeous but neurotic women who keep everyone at a distance with their thousand-yard-stare and then complain that they don't have any friends.

😂😂