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Original poster

Rehoming cat

62 replies

BigDahliaFan · 04/12/2023 10:25

He's 14 years old and a tiny bit difficult. But he's our cat and part of the family.

DH has over the years become more and more allergic to him. He has a cat allergy and didn't really want a cat because of that, but we got one anyway (soz), the cat loves him and he's fond of the cat. But his allergies are getting worse.

they've always been better while we've been away on holiday...but we've just come back from an extended and even I can see how instantly DH is worse as we got into the house.

I don't think DH wants to be the one that makes the decision in case I blame him. But honestly, DH is a nicer person when he's not suffering from his allergies (he's a bit of a hypochondriac and over dramatic in my opinion, but it is a genuine problem).

We don't have anyone obvious who could take him...

Aargh...I just don't want to think of him in a cat rehoming centre lonely and missing us....

OP posts:

Abergale · 04/12/2023 12:00

The kindest thing would be to put it to sleep before you rehome it. Going into a rescue at 14 is going to be very stressful and it’s unlikely to even be rehomed.

Iwantcakeeveryday · 04/12/2023 12:02

Aargh...I just don't want to think of him in a cat rehoming centre lonely and missing us....

Thats exactly what would happen. Please follow the advice from the poster who works at a rescue. You have to try harder to alleviate the allergy issue. Honestly I feel so frustrated at people who give up older cats for these reasons. You have other options.

mamma65432 · 04/12/2023 12:12

Has your DH been back to the GP to say that the allergies medicines he has tried have not worked? It wasn't until my DD saw a consultant that she got the correct strength prescription for her allergies (not pet related) and if he's only tried over the counter stuff then its definitely worth going to the GP.

Also, I am concerned about my cats status in the local pecking order now - anyone know how I can raise it? :-)

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Cats

catmaine · 04/12/2023 12:17

Getting a cat when a family member is allergic was really irresponsible.

I would find a way to keep the cat out of the house. Unless you are in a flat you should try and build/ buy a place for your cat. Insulated and warm where you can keep everything it needs.
Obviously if you intend to spend a lot of time picking the cat up then you will have to get used to changing clothes and showering to stop bringing the allergens inside.
This way you are not abandoning it, but keeping the cat is really really disrespectful in my opinion.

catmaine · 04/12/2023 12:41

Keeping the cat inside*

Chemenger · 04/12/2023 12:48

Get in touch with your local Cat Protection branch. They should be able to facilitate a home-to-home adoption where they advertise him and help you vet potential adopters. Alternatively they may have a fosterer he can go to while he looks for a new family. Contrary to what PPs have said people do adopt older cats. When I was doing home visits and fostering for CP I met people who preferred older cats quite frequently. We had one lovely couple who had adopted a series of cats with life limiting illnesses who gave them lots of love and care for their last years.

Floopani · 04/12/2023 12:52

Have you considered rehoming DH?

Sorry, I couldn't resist, but this is what it would feel like to re-home our cat and we have only had him for four years, adopted him when he was 8 from cats protection. I couldn't even consider it. I think your DH needs to explore anti allergy meds etc.

TomatoSandwiches · 04/12/2023 12:55

Your DH needs to see the GP or a specialist for his allergies.
Sounds like the dust in your new home is the more likely culprit tbh.

I wouldn't put a 14yr old cat through the stress of a rehome ( can't believe it even entered your mind ) I'd consider it kinder to be PTS.

RosesAndHellebores · 04/12/2023 13:07

We had a similar issue with an 11 year old cat. Except it was ds (then a baby) who who had chronic asthma and the Dr's recommended rehoming the cat.

My fix was to have a cat run, heated, built in the garden and I was ready to go when our dear vet rang to say that an elderly lady, in her 80s, was looking for an older cat as her dear cat had just been put to sleep. Marriage made in heaven.

GalileoHumpkins · 04/12/2023 13:09

You can't rehome a cat you've had for 14 fucking years. Jesus, some people.

margotrose · 04/12/2023 13:17

Your DH needs to see a doctor about his allergies.

At 14, your cat won't find a new home. If you can't keep it then the kindest thing to do would be to have it PTS.

randomstress · 04/12/2023 13:25

You can't put a 14 year old cat into a shelter.

Do you have good quality air filters in your house? When we got a cat this year we got several not because of allergies but to reduce dust and smell. The more expensive ones do a good job of monitoring and filtering.

VanWeezer · 04/12/2023 13:43

Are you sure it's just the cat?

You said it got worse when you moved and then came home from holiday. You mentioned a dust allergy. I would probably work on the amount of dust in your home. Get the right bedding, that sort of thing, before even thinking of the getting rid of the cat.

Catinawhirl · 04/12/2023 14:04

We rehome older cats, as they are at less risk of going outside of the garden. And because it's a good thing to do. Also elderly people may adopt an older cat, as they might not want to risk the obvious and may prefer a quiet cat. So it might be worth talking to a good smaller local rescue about them advertising for your cat to be rehomed whilst he's still with you.

Original poster

BigDahliaFan · 04/12/2023 14:15

Have you considered rehoming DH?

Yes, that is my preferred option....

OP posts:

shellyleppard · 04/12/2023 14:18

Would your husband be willing to have anti allergy injections or consider something medical to help?? It's not really fair on the cat being turfed out.

AnOldCynic · 04/12/2023 14:24

Plug in air purifier could help, with the dust too.

Santaiswashinghissleigh · 04/12/2023 14:28

My friend spent £££ on 2 allergy free dcats.. Ha ha.. Not. Her dh got meds for 3 months form his Dr. Worked enough until he got used to the dcats.. Likely moving and coming back from a pet free trip has made things worse for your dh. Can you make some outdoor /utility accommodation for daytime for the dcat? Our 2 have the utility room very dcat appealing but they sleep indoors.. Me and dd are both very allergic...

Pancakeorcrepe · 04/12/2023 14:29

It sounds like the dust is what is making the allergies worse.
You all need to do a concerted effort as a family to vacuum with a good quality vacuum cleaner and wet dust the house more regularly. Your husband needs to go to the GP and get a stronger prescription. You all need to regularly groom your cat and apply pet cleanse.

Pancakeorcrepe · 04/12/2023 14:30

And get a good quality air purifier or two if your house is big and you have a large area to cover.

TurkeyTrotToXmas · 04/12/2023 14:36

Get HEPA filters! These have helped my DH's allergies to no end. It's possible it's the dust causing the issues. He needs to see a specialist.

Bernardmanning · 04/12/2023 14:36

No, you shouldn't re-home it. It's really old. You know that it's the protein in the saliva rather than the fur that people are allergic to? The protein can stick to fabric surfaces in particular. So, if you don't have hard flooring, could you put some cheap flooring down in one of the rooms, keep the cat in there, and then wipe down the walls and floor regularly?

CeciledeVolangesdeNouveau · 04/12/2023 14:38

OK, I’ve read about five posts and please give over and be kind to OP. My boyfriend has a mild cat allergy and he wheezes a little but puts up with ours, treats her kindly, gives her a fuss as long as he can cope with. Sometimes exposure helps allergies, as well.
OP, it’s really sad but rehoming might be best. It’s the difference between a home where he will be tolerated and not know why he’s causing stress, and a home where people will be able to care for him without a physical problem. Not all cats get rehomed, it’s the brutal truth, but you haven’t mentioned other issues so I assume he’d be picked up quickly. I’ve volunteered in a rescue centre (blue cross) and our current family cat came from Battersea - in both places the cats had play and socialising every at least - again, not superb but you’d be surprised how many totally feral cats improve even just with that, and they move through really quickly.

Original poster

BigDahliaFan · 04/12/2023 14:58

The cat has no idea that he's causing any stress, and DH pets him every night on the sofa where they have a little love in while the dog looks on jealously. Then DH goes and washes his hands and face.

We've tried HEPA filters before.

We've also got a woodburner (shoot me woodburner and cat potential rehomer - I'm doubly damned) which could be cleaned out more often.

The floors downstairs are all hardwood.

I think partly it's we've come back and the accumulated dander etc has hit DH hard after 3 weeks of feeling well and 'normal'.

He's seen specialists, he's had the injections....I've been trying to ignore the fact it's probably the cat for years now. But it's kind of hard to ignore it now - and it has got worse.

OP posts:

seymourhoffwoman · 04/12/2023 14:59

I've just bought an air purifier off Amazon as dd allergies to dust and or cat were bad. It's really helped her nose stop streaming. Cost about £50

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