Schools demand national campaign against parents who are abusive to school staff

[noblegiraffe]

A survey suggests that 30% of classroom teachers and 75% of headteachers have received verbal abuse from parents this year, a marked increase on before the pandemic.

The North East Schools network would like to see a national NHS-style campaign to highlight the issue and to say that abuse against school staff is never appropriate. Given that there are many public places that have signs up saying 'abuse against staff will not be tolerated' it always surprises me that this is not already a thing in schools.

Interestingly the article notes "While most interactions with parents were positive, there were small groups of parents “willing to be abusive towards school staff” – including complaints straight to external government agencies.
These bodies, such as Ofsted, the Department for Education and the Education and Skills Funding Agency “should only get involved once the school has completed their complaints procedure”."

Perhaps all those on here who rush to write 'complain to Ofsted' about some school incident should take note that they are part of the problem.

https://schoolsweek.co.uk/schools-demand-national-campaign-against-abusive-parents/

Well I don't recall saying that, because I didn't, but generally, teachers are vilified anyway. Perhaps my experiences working in schools has clouded my view.

No-one should have abuse but the lack of any compassion for desperate SN parents is shocking.

You say you’ve hidden the thread so not much point in replying, but nothing on this thread suggests a lack of any compassion for desperate SN parents.

I think the issue is a lack of adequate SEN funding rather than a lack of compassion from school staff.

I disagree that just because ofstead don’t follow up the complaint, it’s means it unfounded. Ofsted aren’t brilliant either.

Tbh, I think the better way of complaining outside the school system is your MP as a first step. Though that depends on the MP.

i think abuse to teachers is awful and it’s shouldn’t happen. Complaining to Ofsted isn’t abusive imo. Do you consider it abusive when someone goes to OFGEM? Or any other regulator? You have work done at your house by British Gas, you are unhappy and your complaint isn’t dealt with, so you take it to OFGEM because you don’t feel British Gas are dealing with it. You consider that as a customer being abusive to the engineer?

I think recommending a complaint to Ofsted is not abusive. Especially when it’s (usually) in response to a fairly long thread where a parent details the many things they are have tried. No one posts ‘I am unhappy that at my kids school this really minor things happened’ and there’s loads of replies of ‘Gin, shout scream and swear and complain to Ofsted’. That doesn’t happen.

Also suggesting someone complains to Ofsted doesn’t mean ‘say it in an abusive way’. If someone is abusing a teacher and says they are going to Ofsted in a shouty or abusive manner, the responsibility lies with the person that is abusing the teacher. Not the person who recommends going to Ofsted. I have been here 14 years and never seen anyone suggest some about a and threatens the teacher or HT.

If someone is abusing a teacher, the responsibility is theirs. Not someone who suggested they an action that is available to them.

It's more the things like

I'm going to find out where your kids go to school
I know where you live
You'd best be watching your back, bitch
I know people
If you don't get out of my way now, I'm going through you
Get the smug little cunt out of his meeting now, you stupid fat slag
I don't give a fucking shit what you think, I'm not leaving until you get the bitch out here in front of me
I've seen you waiting for the bus/train/tube at night, I know when you're on your own and there's nobody to hide behind
Who you going to call now? (phone ripped out).
Call the fucking police, I'll tell them that...
I'm going to get you fired, arrested, banned from teaching and have your pension taken away. I'm going to destroy you, you stupid fucking whore, just you wait and see.

Plus the getting the kid to tell them where a particular office is, so they charge for the door to go and burst in, pinning staff up by the throat, making false allegations, loitering outside the gate to see what car somebody gets into, shoving their way through to try and get to a child or staff member, etc, etc. From all economic groups and backgrounds.

Occasionally there will be the I'm going to Ofsted/etc about you. Go for it - at least it's not meaning staff have to be ferried around by other members of staff for their own safety. When the threat of violence and abuse is already a thing, somebody going all Ofsted Will Fix You because their kid picked on the wrong child for a change or because their child was caught doing something violently criminal is the least of anybody's worries.

It's not just being a bit rude.

Ffsnotaconference
Complaining to Ofsted isn't in itself abusive. Obviously there's a time and a place for it.

The problem is it is often thrown around as part of a series of abusive behaviour where, instead of resolving a situation before it escalates or going through the correct routes at school, a parent with a axe to grind starts trying to throw their weight around to intimidate school staff to do what they want.

For reasonable parents (who would rightly complain if they needed to and would rightly have no issue raising concerns) this isn't a mentality that they're used to because to reasonable parents going to Ofsted is one of the final steps in the process. Reasonable parents wouldn't stamp their feet, have a strop and try to intimidate school.

The "report to Ofsted that'll show them" parents are probably closely related to the "turn up at the office and DEMAND to see the head and refuse to leave until the do" parents, and the "sad face in local paper when school rules apply to pupils" parents in Home You Go Season.

I think the first post nailed it for me.

Also some behaviour is clearly threatening and intimidating and tbh should be reported to the Police (see @NeverDropYourMooncup example).

But there are times when teachers say they feel intimidated etc… because you don’t simply agree with them and stand your ground. I’ve had an issue like that with a primary school HT and teacher (which were both kicked out by the governors about 6 months~ 1 year later due to various issues)

For reasonable parents (who would rightly complain if they needed to and would rightly have no issue raising concerns) this isn't a mentality that they're used to because to reasonable parents going to Ofsted is one of the final steps in the process. Reasonable parents wouldn't stamp their feet, have a strop and try to intimidate school.

Define ‘have a strop’ and the difference between that and fighting your child’s corner.

I agree, teachers should not be sworn at threatened by parents and there should be sanctions for that. However, I have experienced school stuff to be rude, dismissive and aggressive themselves in their attitude. What the school says goes and it is very difficult to challenge any issues you have without going through ofsted, governors etc. In my experience, everyone just backs the school so I’m not surprised that ofsted carry forward so few complaints

For reasonable parents (who would rightly complain if they needed to and would rightly have no issue raising concerns) this isn't a mentality that they're used to because to reasonable parents going to Ofsted is one of the final steps in the process.

Reasonable, knowledgable parents who know where to go to find the complaints procedure. A reasonable but uninformed parent might view Ofsted as just the place you go.
"Ofsted inspect schools, I think my child's school is seriously failing my child. Ofsted must be the place to go with this"
They're wrong. But not abusive.

I think they could chuck endless amounts of money at marketing campaigns, but it will go right over the heads of those it is aimed at.

There's been an increase in complaints to Ofsted, but not an increase in valid complaints to Ofsted. Why is that?

People are more aware of their rights, and are more prepared to stand their ground? The schools complain process is long and laborious - some might say designed to make raising issues difficult? I don’t think referring to the regulator to be in and of itself abusive, in my experience the threat is made to try and get the school to listen.

I don’t think anyone should be abused or threatened in their workplace, working in a profession where aggressive and threatening behaviour is fairly common I think employers need to do more to take staff concerns seriously. I also think parents get to the end of their tether trying to navigate school systems especially if your child has any kind of additional support need. I know I’ve had times when I’ve needed to wait a day or two before speaking to the school - again - about them meeting my child’s needs because if I spoke to them at the time I’d not manage my anger appropriately.

Noone should be afraid at their work, the government have done a great job at pitching schools and parents against each other - and some parents will have had a bad experience of school which makes it difficult to engage positively with schools and teachers. Some teachers are absolutely infuriating - that doesn’t mean they deserve to be abused at work, but some reflection on why it’s become such a problem from a systems perspective wouldn’t go amiss.

Reasonable, knowledgable parents who know where to go to find the complaints procedure. A reasonable but uninformed parent might view Ofsted as just the place you go.
"Ofsted inspect schools, I think my child's school is seriously failing my child. Ofsted must be the place to go with this"
They're wrong. But not abusive.
I do take your point, but there's a big difference between someone having a concern and the threatening Ofsted culture that's being discussed here.

A reasonable parent, even one in the situation you describe who is uninformed, is unlikely to threaten staff with Ofsted as some sort of gotcha. They may go home and write an email, but they're not going to be sitting in a meeting telling HoY/HoD/SLT/individual subject teachers that if they don't cancel the detention, don't let their child move to a class with their friend, don't accept their child wearing some silly blingy necklace, don't sack the member of staff Timmy hates them they're going to call Ofsted.

The throwing around Ofsted threats to get their own way is part of a pattern of abusive behaviour that some parents have.

I remember picking up a class where some parents and students genuinely believed they'd got the previous teacher sacked. They hadn't, but the culture from some of them was horrible. I'm sure some of those parents would be MN "naice" parents too.

The parents who behave in this way are taking time and staff energy and resources away from the rest of the children in the school.

There's been an increase in complaints to Ofsted, but not an increase in valid complaints to Ofsted. Why is that?

*I also think that having some analysis of the types of complaints being made to Ofsted, and the things they’ve actually taken forward would help inform the wider discussion ie is it lots of “Timmy hates this teacher” or “the school keep excluding my child because they don’t have the right socks” or “I can’t get the school to work with the agreed plan for my SEN child”.

As the Police will tell the school if they eventually turn up a week or two later, reporting it to the Police will only make it worse.

Seriously. Their advice is to not do a thing about it.

Exactly, so (as the op asserts) telling someone to go to Ofsted isn’t inciting abuse. The person giving the advice, which usually comes after a detailed post where the Op has a big problem and tried lots of different things, does not need to consider if they are part of the problem.

If that advice is used to bully staff, that’s responsibility of the person doing the bullying. No on MN recommends bullying teachers with needless emails to Ofsted or going to Ofsted over a very small issue.

Again, though, if someone kept phoning British Gas because their complaint wasn’t being heard, saying they are going to OFGEM wouldn’t be called abusive. They would if it was accompanied by abusive behaviour. Because it’s the abusive behaviour. People on MN wouldn’t be told to consider if they are part of the problem of gas engineers and call centre staff being abused and threatened (I worked in call centres for a long time we have had customers turn up at the call centre and trying to attack staff, fake packages with powder sent in, bomb threats, telling the agents they know which office they are in and they will be waiting, engineers threatened while working in peoples homes, engineers being locked in peoples houses etc) because they told someone to go to OFGEM.

Tbh, I don’t really get your post. I didn’t deny that threats of Ofsted couldn’t be part of abusive behaviour. But I disagree that a complaint to Ofsted should be considered abuse on its own or that recommending it is part of the problem. I didn’t say it can’t possibly be used as part of a parent abusing a teacher.

and let’s be honest, if you haven’t don’t anything wrong the regulator threat means nothing. Facing an abusive parent, a threat to Ofsted is (I imagine) the least of someone’s worries.

Exactly, so (as the op asserts) telling someone to go to Ofsted isn’t inciting abuse. The person giving the advice, which usually comes after a detailed post where the Op has a big problem and tried lots of different things, does not need to consider if they are part of the problem.

This is not true. I have spent quite a bit of time on MN typing 'Ofsted are not appropriate to complain to here, you need to follow the school complaints procedure which will be on their website. The usual first step after the teacher is the headteacher, and then the Chair of Governors'.

I should save it somewhere to copy and paste from and save myself time, tbh.

I was on board until "including complaints straight to external government agencies.
These bodies, such as Ofsted, the Department for Education and the Education and Skills Funding Agency “should only get involved once the school has completed their complaints procedure”."

Complaining to external bodies is not abusive. I can see why a school might not like it but it's not abusive. What a ridiculous thing to say. That just sounds like they want to disempower parents from complaining about legitimate issues. If the external bodies didn't want such complaints they could always insist on the complainant following the school's process first. But if they don't, then it's a valid use of a complaints process.

WhatNoUsername

Ofsted etc. don't investigate individual teachers, they investigate schools and their response to complaints.

I've just done a search on 'complain to Ofsted' on here and one of the first threads was a suggestion that the OP complain to Ofsted because the school had given the OP a parents evening appointment that they couldn't make, and wouldn't lay on another parents evening for her.

Which bit isn’t true? Which bit of what you have quoted has anything to do with what you said.

Threads are not full of ‘go a threaten and shout at the teacher and threaten them with Ofsted for that minor issue you haven’t tried to resolve’

Do people give advice incorrectly? Of course they do.

That’s not abusive.

Telling someone to go to Ofsted (even if it’s incorrect) isn’t inciting abuse. No one is telling people to use the threat of Ofsted as intimidation tactics.

The person giving the advice (even if it’s incorrect) after a parent talks about the many things they have tried, isn’t telling the poster to abuse the teacher.

parents who actually verbally abuse teachers are entirely responsible for their own actions. You can go to Ofsted and it not be abusive. Going to Ofsted (or recommending it) is not abusive in itself. Using it in an abusive way or using it while abusing the teacher is. The choice to abuse a teacher is entirely the responsibility of the person doing the abusing.

Theres No excuse for abuse. Non. The responsibility for abuse always lays with the abuser. I am actually quite shocked anyone would try and make other people responsible for someone else choice to abuse someone. Would you do that if a parent was abusing a child? Or a husband abusing their wife?

Yes, and if the school hasn't had the opportunity to respond properly to the complaint because parents have gone straight to Ofsted instead of following the school's complaints procedure, there will be nothing for Ofsted to investigate!

Yes incorrect advice.

Does it say ‘go into school, shout, scream and threaten the teacher. Then scare the shit out of them with threatening to go to Ofsted’

of even ‘tell them you are going to ofsted if you don’t get your way’

Of a parent says they are going to Ofsted over not being able to get a a lot at parents evening, the response is ‘Ok you do that’. Why would that even bother anyone?

It is never OK to abuse anyone, no matter how vile someone is. With regard reporting to outside agencies as a first step, I think the only time this is appropriate is if your child suffered a serious assault in school and its reported to the police. In fact I would say sexual harassment and assault teenage girls are subjected to at school deserves reporting to the police more often.

Honestly, if you are one of the posters arguing against this, YOU are part of the problem. School staff should not be abused, full stop. It would be even better if this extended to abuse from pupils.

I am both a teacher and parent of a child with SEN. I have never felt the need to be abusive towards my child's teacher. I have, politely phoned/emailed/called meetings/cried/followed school complaints procedure and done exactly the same with my council SEN team.

I don't think parents of children with SEN are the target for this message anyway. Out of the parents I've had contact with that have been threatening/abusive, I can't think of a single one that had a child with SEN.