Nice activities or outings you've done with the kids that have turned into an absolute shitshow

[Silverstoat]

Bought the Hedgehog biscuit kit from Asda for a nice Sunday afternoon activity with the kids. Instead of a cookie cutter it's a hedgehog drawn on the inside of the box that you're supposed to cut out and use as a stencil 🤨 cue meltdowns from both dc as its impossible to cut out details in wet biscuit dough. Ds dropped a big piece of dough that was immediately gobbled up by ddog, I breathed in the icing powder and almost had an asthma attack, and then to top it all off they tasted like shit.

This thread reminded me of this review which I think I saw for the first time on here some years ago!
https://www.tripadvisor.co.uk/ShowUserReviews-g186419-d207144-r298217582-LEGOLAND_Windsor_Resort-Windsor_Windsor_and_Maidenhead_Berkshire_England.html

I don't have DC but recently me and my Mother had a conversation about when I was a child and how many trips out went wrong.

I remember one birthday she took me and three friends to Doncaster Dome for swimming, then for a picnic at a local beauty spot afterwards.

Friend 1 threw an EPIC tantrum. We were about ten at the time, not toddlers! She was just incandescent, I forget over what. Had to be consoled for most of the day. (She was diagnosed with psychosis of some sort as a young adult and is now deceased, strange girl but we were friends up until her death, bless her).

Friend 2 delayed us all afterwards because she was very prissy about her showering routine. Again, we were 10! My grandmother who'd come with us had to go and get her in the end as everyone else, me other friends and my Mum, were all starving and waiting by the car for her to finish and come out. She argued with my Grandmother because she needed more time to do her hair. I remember my Gran apparently said something like 'Blow yer 'hair lass! We need to go!'

Got to picnic spot and it PISSED it down. Epicly. I am a mid-summer baby and it was FREEZING cold despite having been cracking the flags up until that day/time. We ate the picnic in the car.

Later on friend 3's Mum telephoned my Mum and was extremely annoyed and worried. Turns out friend 3 was very very ill and she basically accused my Mum of poisoning her and was asking for great details about the food. Friend 3's Mum and my Mum were also old, old friends-I'd met friend 3 as a result of this and we'd been close since being toddlers.
My Mum (lovely woman, my favourite person ever) is very no-nonsense and told Friend 3's Mum why her daughter was so poorly. I overheard her say something like;
'Janet, the reason Clara is so ill is because she ate three bloody taties more than a pig and there was no stopping her! None of the others are ill!' They had a huge argument and never made up. Friend 3 and me never saw one another after that because 'Janet' wouldn't let us be friends, wouldn't be civil.

I hadn't noticed how much Clara ate because, well I guess kids just don't pay much mind to things like that. She does have an eating disorder now though, I made friends with her on fb years ago but but she didn't want much to do with me ever since.

Took DS (6) to Hill Top, Beatrix Potter’s house. Timed entry and you had to move round with the group you’d entered with. DS was never a ‘touchy’ child and it wasn’t his first NT rodeo, but he tried to touch everything and sit on all the chairs with teazels on them, prompting many tuts and pointed remarks aimed at me about children needing to follow the instructions For The Good Of All The Visitors from the volunteers. Then he flatly denied having any idea who Peter Rabbit was. Never heard of him or any other Beatrix Potter characters despite having heard the books read to him many times when he was little(r). And having illustrations as room decorations. Any attempt to rein him in was met with a mutinous little sneer. It was like there was poisonous gas being pumped through the place that changed his personality.

I had not seen this review until now 😄

I've read it more than several times and still find it hilarious!

Not me but my mate took his son on a trip to a theme park with his "girlfriend" (they were about 13/14 yr old) and she turned up with a massive bottle of coke and large bag of assorted sweets that they tucked into on the hour long journey.

Just as they pulled into the car park the son threw up all down himself. He had to strip down to his pants and they turned round and drove all the way home again. Surprisingly it didn't put the girl off 😂

I don't have children but I went with a newly single friend and her two children to Alton Towers. What a day....
We got, ahem, asked to leave because her eldest (9) landed a perfect right hook on the jaw really fucking irritating kid in front of us in the queue.
We left and found a McDonald's where her youngest (5) ate way too much McFlurry and vomited everywhere

Took ds and three of his friends (7 at the time) to a Halloween event. They had a scary experience one was child friendly one was not. Ds and his friends were all hyped up and excited so went into the experience, the child friendly experience. A few jump scares boys having a great time then i felt a tap on my shoulder, it was a clown 🤡 I screamed and we started running, two boys are now crying clown is stall chasing us and I turned round and told the clown to stop fucking about this is the child friendly experience and fuck off 😳
not my finest hour but cheered the two boys up who by this point were sobbing then I had to buy the most ridiculously expensive ice cream to calm them all down

A few years ago we booked the closest NT light trail, for 7 of us. It rained for days leading up to it, and all day on the day itself. As soon as we got there Dc1 (who was 5) who was really well behaved & chilled at everything had the worst meltdown about 10 minutes in, he didn’t let up. We soldiered on, the pushchair with Dc4 in it broke halfway round, Dc2 tripped over and cut her head quite badly on one of the metal rods to keep people on the path we ended up in local A&E for stitches. However we ended up stuck in mud in the car park took us a while to get out. After that we all gave up, ended up in McDonald’s muddy, wet & cold. We vowed never to do it again. My friends all go on every year what a magical experience it is, but never, ever again.

I took the DCs to Paris a few years ago. I was really looking forward to their reactions when we went up the Eiffel Tower. They argued and argued in the queue... and in the lift. I was so embarrassed .. but when we were at the very top they had a full blown fight.. kicking and punching each other/ brawling . I was mortified and so pissed off that the experience was completely lost on them. They were 11 (Dd) and 8 (DS) at the time.

Now they are 16 and 13 and get on brilliantly - but I still like to remind them of this event!

Not exactly a shitshow but booked expensive seats for The Nutcracker recently expecting DD6 to be very excited about her first proper theatre trip and agog at the beautiful costumes and dancing.

DD was full of cold and more excited about the prospect of her chocolates than seeing the ballet. Fidgeted and whispered to the point I was nervous others would get annoyed with us, although it was a matinee and children are to be expected.

Then promptly fell asleep on me (to my relief actually!) in the second half, missing it completely.

£75 well spent 🫣

@Forgottenmyphone oh god. Awful.

There's a farm near us that has a small animal petting area and a lovely cafe. When DD was about 4 we arranged to go with a group of friends and their DC to a 'meet santa' lunch event there. It was not cheap, but we thought it would be lovely for DD. Just as our meals arrived, Santa came in to the cafe with a big Ho, Ho, Ho. DD screamed and would not stop until DH took her outside. As she would not go back in to the cafe, we decided we'd have to miss lunch and just see friends in the petting zoo. But Santa was wondering around the whole place and every time she saw him she screamed. And when I say scream, I mean like she was being stabbed, not just crying a bit. So we ended up having spent £££, hungry, and with a terrified child. Very festive.

I'm sure we had taken her to see Santa before without this reaction.

Christmas experience at a local castle was abandoned after 3minutes. The music being played was so loud, even I struggled with it, never mind poor ds2 who is autistic. Wouldn’t care but we had asked about it, and told that while there was music it wouldn’t be intrusive. So we booked and took his ear defenders, which he ended up lobbing across the lawn as the music was so loud they were useless to him. DH had to sprint after him as he made his bid for freedom while screaming about his “pile of crap ear defenders”. DS1 ran into the grotto, blurted out that he needed to take a present now for DS2 since he’d ran away. That £60 was not well spent!

School concert picnic. DD decided she preferred everyone else's food to ours and was randomly walking up to strangers and either asking for their food or just helping herself. Then decided to run across the beautifully mown cricket pitch with me in hot pursuit, which she thought was a game of tag. Eventually caught her when she started screaming and kicking me. Decided to cut out losses and leave (nobody could hear the concert over our child's screaming). So left DH to pack up and carry all the stuff back to the car whilst I tried to carry a screaming and kicking three year old. Lots of tuts, head shakes and huffing and puffing from people. Screaming and kicking carried on all the way to the car where she the arched her back and refused to be strapped in to her car seat. We have never attended that event again - the memory is too much!

Took Gdcs of 6 and 7 to see the new Railway Children film - they wanted to see it. OMG, totally unsuitable for kids, had to take them out after half an hour, too scary - and those two aren’t easily spooked.
Started off IIRC with a black American soldier (WW2 in U.K.) being savagely beaten up by his own (white) troops.
I was mightily pissed off at the waste of money.

We were given tickets for children's carol concert at Albert Hall. DS2 (3) had massive melt down, feet flailing, the lot. DH tried to calm him, not successfully. Tears were wept. Woman in row in front turned round and said kindly: 'Never mind, little boy. You'll enjoy it next year, if Daddy lets you live that long...' (He did,too!)

I took my kids to a Christmas lights trail THAT DIDN’T EXIST last weekend. I can only assume they hadn’t taken down last year’s website but we walked for bloody hours before I admitted defeat.

@NotFastButFurious DS sulked around a light show last year as "the puddles weren't as good as last time"

We went to cycle the Tarka Trail in Devon when my DC were 8 and 10. We got three miles along and were hit by a torrential rainstorm. My DH skidded and came off his bike. All of the few cafes en route were full and so we just looked in enviously whilst soaked to the skin with the rain pouring down our faces

Took dd, then 2, to see Santa for the first time last year at the local RNLI station. Walked to the door and there were only a couple of people standing outside so assumed we'd be through quickly.

As we were waiting to go through the internal door a family came out saying they'd been waiting an hour and were waiting no longer but I didn't believe them. It was just up the steps, right?

No, the steps led to a hall, which had a queue of people in it. Not a large hall, and not a long queue, but, in all, we we waiting for nearly 2 hours. Being the RNLI there were stalls in the hall, largely selling toys, which really helped matters. There was a small Christmassy display, but you saw it all in seconds.

Dd's favourite find was a 6 food ladder behind a door, which I had to keep her from climbing. She also liked spotting boats out the window but even that didn't hold her attention for long.

It was a relief this year to go to a different one and be done in 5 minutes. Plus her gift was far nicer!

When my eldest was 15 we had a holiday in Northumberland. He spent the whole time trailing behind us like a very miserable dark cloud. We have the photos to prove how unhappy he was that week. He's 18 now and recently asked us could we go back. Loved it! apparently and wants his girlfriend to experience it with him this time.

Dd then 6 yo insisted that we all go on the Jaws ride in Universal Florida. Happily queued and was very much the only one of us who wanted to go on the ride. We'd all done it before when dd was very little and couldn't remember it.

So, we're on the boat all very jolly until the music started and the fake fin appeared. The tour guide was incredibly enthusiastic which backfired massively as dd had the biggest meltdown we'd ever seen. No consoling would help. Then the shark comes out of the water at us and dd completely freaks out.

Upshot was that the cast member stops the ride to tell her "its not real sweetie". Dd shakes uncontrollably for the rest of the ride. We get off eventually and declare dd gets to never chose a ride again other than Cat in the Hat.

That ride would frighten me to death and I am a grown adult 😂

Took DD3 to a petting farm. Day going ok till I lost her. I & buggy went round one side of some play equipment, she went the other... and vanished. Probably only gone 5 minutes max but it seemed like a lifetime. Still traumatised 10 years on.

Shopping.

Soft play.

Playgrounds.

Any holidays involving hot places.

Any holidays involving loads of kids around a pool.

Anything on a bus. Especially for over 2 hours and especially in a hot place with bendy roads without a sick bag.

Anything with fairground rides and queues.

Rustic holidays with back to basics living. It’s cold. Always rains. And you end up giving kids iPads as you sit soggy around campfire with smoke going in your eyes and in your lungs.

Anywhere with family or friends kids.