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Original poster

Friend keeps slagging off my artwork

74 replies

Yor · 26/11/2023 12:35

I have an Instagram account dedicated to my artwork as a hobby which consists of my drawings. Whenever I meet up with her she always says things like “you’re hardly any good to post to insta, are you?” or “looks like a 3 year old drew it”, then just laughs. I just do a fake laugh and move on. I think she thinks is just banter but I think she means it secretly and she never likes the posts either. It really makes me feel shitty when she puts my artwork down all the time.

OP posts:
pickledandpuzzled · 26/11/2023 12:51

Why don’t you block her in instagram?

Aquamarine1029 · 26/11/2023 12:52

Yor · 26/11/2023 12:41

We’ve been friends since primary school so I feel I can’t just cut her off like that. We do have a good laugh about other things like primary school nostalgia but it’s just this “banter” amongst other rude comments I don’t like.

Yes, YOU CAN cut her off, and you absolutely should. You don't owe her anything, op. She's a shit person who doesn't add value to your life and she treats you appallingly. She is simply not your friend.

I am so depressed by how many women who continue to be doormats because they've been conditioned to always be "nice", even when they are the victims of horrible behaviour.

improb · 26/11/2023 12:53

My artist friend (full time, went to art school, degree, etc, he makes a living from it) was quite disparaging when his sister tried her hand at art. She was only doing it as a hobby, and had no real talent, I don't think there was any need for the heavy critique.

I'd rethink a friendship with someone like that.

saveforthat · 26/11/2023 12:54

If you have known her since primary school, surely you can have an honest conversation and say, you know she's only joking but you are a bit sensitive when it comes to your art and it hurts you when she says things like that. Why doesn't anyone talk to each other nowadays? There are so many threads like this. PS A friend wouldn't make you feel insecure about anything.

margotrose · 26/11/2023 12:55

Just because you've known her since primary school doesn't mean you have to stay in touch with her forever Confused

Venomous · 26/11/2023 12:55

Wishimaywishimight · 26/11/2023 12:47

So what if you've been friends since school? She clearly thinks she can be unpleasant to you and you will allow it (and she's right).

Up to you but this is not my idea of friendship.

This.

‘I’ve known her forever’ isn’t a reason to be friends.

I agree she’s entitled to think your art is awful, but it’s completely unnecessary to say so. I have a friend who is a professional artist whose work I think is bland, but I’m very fond of her, and admire her commitment and for being able to make a living, and I appreciate that selling seascapes to tourists is her bread and butter.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 26/11/2023 12:55

When you next meet her, @Yor, as soon as she starts to mention your artwork, hold up your hand in her face and say, “I’m going to stop you there. You may think these comments are banter, but they are just rude and offensive. Let’s drop the topic.”

Marblessolveeverything · 26/11/2023 12:59

She isn't your friend. Staying in touch because of nostalgia can lead to unhealthy relationships.

Have a think about how she treats you and evaluate. I would never be cruel, I have friends since primary and we do have banter and reminisce but at the core of the friendship build each other up and support each other, the world has enough people to try tear us down. Find those that do that for you.

LimeCheesecake · 26/11/2023 13:05

If you met her now, would you be her friend?

charmedtomeetyou · 26/11/2023 13:06

Get rid OP! Just because you have known here a long time doesn't make her a good friend . Give her one warning if you like and if she persists, block and get rid! It can be so freeing ! I got rid of a similar nasty so called friend, I had known for almost 25 years . She used to team up with an ex of mine on social media and make disparging comments about me and my life (including my oldest son!). Blocked the horror and haven't looked back. She always had a nasty streak and the "nice side" of her was forgotten by all the mean things she had done to me . Bullies never grow up it seems!

Startingagainandagain · 26/11/2023 13:14

She is not a friend. She is a jealous cow and you need to kick her out of your life...

Fraaahnces · 26/11/2023 13:17

Why don’t you share your insta handle and we’ll all follow you. Show her how many followers your art has!

OldTinHat · 26/11/2023 13:26

She's clearly jealous.

User0000009 · 26/11/2023 13:32

Sheer jealousy on her part.

pinkyredrose · 26/11/2023 13:34

Well let's see some examples of your artwork then!

ZenNudist · 26/11/2023 13:36

She's nasty. I don't care if you've known her years. Tell her to stop it and if she doesn't start slagging her stuff off to her face too. See how long the friendship lasts...

User0000009 · 26/11/2023 13:36

I’ve got one of these. She calls us friends but really we’ve just known each other a long time. She doesn’t have my best interests at heart. I know this. I can read her like a book so I’m aware. Shame but she won’t change x

glassyhag · 26/11/2023 13:39

I'm learning an artistic hobby at the moment. Have been doing so for the last 12-18 and am miles away from being an ever. I went out with friends on Friday and over of them is doing a stall to raise money for her local church and so I donated a dozen small items that in reality took me 20-30 minutes each and I made them quite early in my journey so far from perfect. All 3 of my friends told me how much they loved them and repeat said I need to get an Etsy page set up and recoup some of the costs and work towards it being a full time job. THAT is what friends do. They don't piss on your parade.

Startingagainandagain · 26/11/2023 13:40

@pinkyredrose
'Well let's see some examples of your artwork then!'

Not really the point...

The OP has found something she enjoys doing as a hobby and likes to share pictures of her artwork with other people who very likely will have the same interest/hobby.

That's what matters.

She does not need to be brilliant at it to enjoy it.

I enjoy hobbies like horse riding and I am rather crap at it as I am still learning but I love posting pics of my lessons or hacks on Instagram now and then because it is an activity that challenges me and inspires me. I

f a 'friend' was to criticise me for it because I am not a great rider I would tell them to get lost...

theduchessofspork · 26/11/2023 13:43

Either you dump her or you tell her she needs to stop being weird and rude about your hobby - if she doesn’t like it she doesn’t need to look at it

theduchessofspork · 26/11/2023 13:44

pinkyredrose · 26/11/2023 13:34

Well let's see some examples of your artwork then!

Why? It’s not relevant

sixteenfurryfeet · 26/11/2023 13:50

It's very telling that she only says this stuff to you in private, and doesn't post cutting remarks online for other people to see.

Canisaysomething · 26/11/2023 13:58

She doesn’t like your art and that’s fine. She doesn’t need to like it. Just stop talking to her about it and block her as an instagram contact. Do you talk about it a lot with her? I can’t see why she would even need to mention it.

StaunchMomma · 26/11/2023 14:30

It doesn't matter if you've been friends forever - she's not being a friend if she's speaking to you like that.

If you don't like it, SAY SOMETHING!!

If you're not prepared to tackle it you'll have to keep putting up with it. What's worse?!

mondaytosunday · 26/11/2023 14:31

I'd put her on the spot: Tell her to her face she's being rude and while entitled to her opinion how does she think her comments make you feel? If she says she's only joking say it's but funny and quite hurtful so please stop it. Can you block someone from an Instagram account?