Does your 8 year old get themselves dressed for school?

[SausageinaBun]

Our 8 yo DD (soon to be 9) needs help to get dressed for school. She's physically able to get dressed, but just doesn't make progress if asked. We do suspect that she has issues with attention. DH thinks this is fairly typical and he was the same, I think it's fairly unusual at her age. So, wise MN, which of us is right?

We're in the same position but she has scored highly on an adhd pre-screening.

Yes. And my 6 year old. I put their uniform out but they don’t need any help doing it.

I have a list on a Blackboard in the kitchen and my 7 almost 8 year old just basically does anything but get ready. But at least as I nag her I have a nice list to refer to

DS1 7.5 gets dressed but then I come and tuck his shirt in half the time because he forgets. If we are in a big rush I also do shirt buttons. He can't tie his tie yet so me/DH will do it.

He may get distracted and start playing then I have to say again 'shoes!' and 'hands, face, teeth!'

If we are going on a fun day out he'll be ready a loy quicker!

My ds is 8 and has dressed himself since 4/5, I put his uniform out for ease in the mornings as we have to up and out to breakfast club. My DD (just 4) struggles with tights however can dress herself.

DS2 is 7.5 and more than capable of dressing himself and brushing teeth etc. He does need a few prompts just because playing is so much more fun. But 9 times out of 10 he’s fine.

My 9.5 year old can do it but usually asks for help, especially with shirt buttons. He is autistic and hates school so he needs supervising, otherwise He will take his clothes off and go back to bed.

Yes.! Just turned 8.

He wakes at 6 and reads (Tom Gates currently! Or diary of wimpy bloody kid).
sneaks into us at 630 for cuddles am(as does his 3 year old sister).
he then showers, does teeth, dresses and goes downstairs to have a very elaborate breakfast that DH facilitates
no telly or iPad in the morning in our house so he then either plays with sister getting ready for nursery logs on to TT rockstars or MyMaths or NumBots.
DH then zooms out of the door with both of them at 8 am for nursery and school run.

I think if that’s the only issue it’s absolutely fine and she may need prompting/ consequences/ rewards.

Is there any other concerns with he attention?

It's a while ago now but Im pretty sure my children all got themselves dressed by the time they started school

Actually DD who’s 3, nearly 4 also does all of the above except that she doesn’t have the morning shower, and can’t fully read (!) but “does her learning” in the morning by which she means play with numberblocks/spell CAT MAT in foam letters etc and needs someone to sit with her as she gets dressed. So we don’t actually physically dress her but we do need to do the “come on DD let’s race you to putting clean pants on/let’s see if you can get the socks on before I count down from 20” type things

So smug!

I think developmentally, an 8-almost-9 year old should be able to get dressed completely independently, so if it’s just that she’s getting distracted and needs a few prompts, fine, but if she’s actually struggling then there may be something to be concerned about?

Au contraire! DS can also be extremely dramatic. A slight knock in the shower to his very delicate hair might mean a LOT of “oh I am so hurt I can’t even …”.

The total game changer in our household was when one day we decided no television or iPad in the morning.

everything changed then. Suddenly other things became interesting and there was no drama around “but it’s just 6 mins of X left daddddddy” when asked to clean teeth.

My DD8 is exactly the same OP. We suspect ADHD or similar but she does well at school and seems happy so not pushing for any kind of diagnosis but trying to support as best we can with routine and structure (and fidget toys, rocking cushions etc)
We go through phases where it is more of a problem than others but she needs a parent reminding/helping every step of the way or she would never be ready for school! Whoever isn't doing the school run takes this role.

My 8 year old can and does. But she had to learn, they change into play clothes unaided in after school. So she picked it up and goes quite quickly, she wants to play!

They do a surprising amount if they have no choice.

She can. She doesn't want to. I allow it as it is getting less. Just one of the childhood strings that is loosening all the time.

At 8 my ds 100% could dress himself but still preferred someone else to do it for him because he couldn’t be bothered.

we don’t have much time in our morning routine so it’s pretty snappy - get dressed, breakfast, teeth, leave by 7:30am. No time for screens which removes a distraction. Having to be dressed before breakfast is definitely a motivator.

Do you mean you need to physically put her clothes on her, or that she needs a lot of chivying along?

Encouragement normal. Actually dressing them is not.

My 7.5 year old chooses his own clothes (his school doesn’t have a uniform) and gets dressed himself. He will generally clean his teeth and tie his shoes, except if we’re in a hurry. My 4.5 year old generally refuses to do any of it himself

Yes should be able to but I think it’s normal for them to need some reminders. My 7yo needs a degree of nagging as she will daydream but she is more than capable of getting her own breakfast and getting herself dressed/teeth etc. 4yo can but it’s 50% as she doesn’t always want to and needs much more prompting. Will sometimes help her physically as well.

Perhaps something that might help would be to say to her that she's a big girl now so she doesn't need constant reminders any more.

Then... if she faffs and faffs and doesn't get ready one morning, just let her be late for school. She needs to learn the hard way!

My 7 year old does. Occasionally she a reminder to stay on track but I’m popping in and out of my 4 year old’s room and she needs lots of reminders not to get distracted.

To be clear, she's physically able to get dressed, she just doesn't do it and a timetable and reminders often aren't enough.

We had to give one of her best friends a lift to school one day and she was dressed in a flash, no reminders.

Thanks for the replies, I'll let DH know that she's outside the average on this one.

7yo gets dressed for school himself and has done for about 2 years. I always lay his clothes out for him or pop them on the radiator in the winter to make them cosy.

5yo (suspected ADHD) gets physically gets dressed for school but needs prompting. "Trousers now." "Polo shirt please" etc. He's completely capable but he gets distracted or will just lie half dressed in pjs instead of getting the next thing on!