Does your 8 year old get themselves dressed for school?

[SausageinaBun]

Our 8 yo DD (soon to be 9) needs help to get dressed for school. She's physically able to get dressed, but just doesn't make progress if asked. We do suspect that she has issues with attention. DH thinks this is fairly typical and he was the same, I think it's fairly unusual at her age. So, wise MN, which of us is right?

My just turned 6 ds does but often needs a bit of chivvying along and a bit of help with his school hoodie as they are a little tight on the head. I often have to tidy him up too but he's pretty much there

Both is actually very normal . But yes also an adhd symptom.

My 4 year old, 7 year old and 9 year old (ADHD) all dress themselves for school, the 9 year old takes a lot of reminding though.

My 8yo adhd ds has only just started to be able to do it fully himself, even though his sibling (age 2) can already get dressed/undressed and brush her own teeth. I don’t think it’s uncommon for ND children to take longer and progress in tiny steps on some activities. I mean, there’s no reward for getting dressed for school except school so it’s not an easy one to motivate for!

Yes, but his school clothes are in daily boxes with everything in including pants, which reduces the actual thinking he has to do.

I don't understand the no screens comment - in the next line the child is on TTRS 🤔

For my one who takes longest to get ready, we say he has to be dressed to have breakfast. Funnily enough he’s a lot quicker that way!

never had screens before school because the distraction element is too high.

my Year R child gets dressed by herself. I mean at nursery that meant some very interesting clothing combinations and I had to tell her that her summer dress was no good for school last week, but she gets the idea…

Yes, and has gone for several years.

No laying out clothing, it’s all in one cupboard, gets it himself and that’s it. His responsibility.

The only reminder mine gets is the time. I’m teaching them to manage their time so not to be late. (They get themselves to school as it’s 5 minutes on a scooter)

It’s really important to me that I am raising self reliant, self sufficient human beings. It’s an expectation in this house that they will do basic things for themself early on.

That said, in the scheme of things, in the next few years when heading to high school, they will be absolutely fine dressing themselves, so they get there eventually.

Yes and he has for many years. Also sorts his own breakfast out and makes sure he leaves the house on time to get there (he walks by himself but we’re extremely close, no roads to cross)

10 yo otoh needs a lot of cajoling, is very easily distracted

This.
I remember when they all started aged 4 the school making “learning to get dressed by yourself” a specific homework task, because they had to get sorted before and after pe. Afaik they all managed.

It may just be a 9 year old thing, my 4 year old gets herself dressed, my 9 year old needs to be nagged. She is able to get her own clothes out her wardrobe and put them on just she isn't really a morning person and is slow in the mornings. She is not neurodiverse. My elder son gets himself ready I strongly suspect he is ND as his attention is awful however he is able to get himself up and ready for secondary which has shocked me (he still forgets things such as pe kits etc) but when he was younger we did have a checklist for him to work his way through in the morning so he could keep track of getting himself ready. Once ready he could watch tv or play etc.

yes she can, but to be fair tights are hard and need a little readjusting when she comes down the stairs.

Yes with constant reminders. Otherwise he'll get distracted literally halfway through pulling a sock on. We're waiting for an adhd assessment. One thing that has really helped is using a stopwatch to time him and he tries to beat his record.

DD1 was fine doing this at that age... DD2 has only really clicked it at age 10 (and even then she managed to forget to put a skirt on last term!) - but she's waiting for an inattentive ADHD assessment.

How is she at different times of the day? Could it be a morning thing?

Dd: yes
Ds: needs lots of prompting and could lead to tantrums as we were stressing out about being
late for school but we solved this by asking him to get dressed before breakfast (ie the time
he wastes means less time to eat), it is way better now.

Year 4 DD is fine getting dressed, she needs to be told its time to get ready but then she gets on with it (this includes taking her inhaler, brusing teeth, packing bag etc).

My 7yo DS with ADHD gets himself dressed but I have to remind him eleventy billion times during the process as he gets distracted. If we're in a rush I will help him but he doesn't like that so I just try and give him plenty of time / count down time to starting to get ready.

3 boys. All could dress themselves by the time they went to school and did so without having to supervise them. They all wanted to get to school to play with their friends before going in.