I want to hugely reduce my phone use - anyone want to join me?

[WatershipClown]

I’ve just had two weeks off work and I am filled with regret that the main thing I have done, for two weeks, is go on my phone and scroll.
I don’t feel well rested, I haven’t read any books or done anything creative, I haven’t socialised, nothing. I’m also very overweight, the house is a mess and I feel like I have no time, but the truth is I just waste it on my phone.

My arbitrary rules are:
I have decided to restrict phone use to 5 mins in the morning, 5 mins at lunchtime and 5 mins after dinner.
No looking at even bank app unless absolutely necessary.
No online shopping unless essential.
Can use maps/national rail app as necessary if driving out of area.
Can listen to podcasts but no more than 2 mins to choose one.

I would like to do more cooking, painting, reading and exercise with the vast amount of time this will free up (delusional? Me? 🤣)
Is anyone else thinking they also need to change something in a similar way?

I started using the Forest app (think it costs £2.99) and it's really good. It's a virtual forest and you grow a tree for every 25 minutes you don't use your phone. If you interrupt the timer, you kill a tree.

You can also collect points which can be traded in to plant a real tree somewhere in the world.

It sounds silly but the thought of killing a virtual tree stops me from picking up my phone and over time I'm getting used to not picking it up as frequently.

I really need to do this. I realise at the end of the day that I’ve spent hours scrolling through absolute crap.

I’ll join you. I think you need to reduce slowly. I’m goi f to try and turn mine off after 6pm and limit use during the day. I’m going to turn it off and put it in a drawer in another room.

Yes i can no longer concentrate on a whole film. After 20 minutes I'm on my phone again. Pathetic

I have just spent a good hour or so practicing my crochet. At least I'll have something to show for it ( eventually!)

It's so hard isn't it. I don't really use my phone but omg the hours lost on my iPad...
the trouble is I have apps on here which are good and useful (music practice log, audible, duolingo - 89 days streak of learning Italian and I use the iPlayer to have stuff on when I'm cooking/putting washing away etc)
BUT i end up distracted by mainly mumsnet. I have found it helped for a bit to hide various boards (namely AIBU) so these don't show up in my trending threads but even so... I only use Mumsnet on thr website not the app.
i probably should deregister but I find the elderly parents boards such a release and I wish I could just look at that. Maybe I should add chat to the hidden boards 🤔

I had this realisation last year and have cute down dramatically. My daily usage now- including all emails, shopping, banking and actual functional actitivies is 2 hours.
I have an iphone and the first thing I did was limit social media to 45mins a day. I can still remember being horrified on the first day when I was scrolling FB while still in bed (morning) and it cut out.....45 without even getting out of bed!

I also deleted ALL social media Apps, I have to go via the browser. Eventually, the desire to check socials started to fade. I then also removed all 'vague' social media friends, keeping only people I genuinely called a friend- this reduced Insta from 1500 to 20something!

Once I had social media under control my screen time just naturally reduced.

I’ve hardly read a book in ages. I think my concentration has suffered as a result of my scrolling through continuous crap online. So many tiny little videos and pics and sound bites, they’re all so quick and continuous and I’m sure it’s affected my ability to concentrate. I wish I could back away and get back into books. I used to be such an avid reader. A well written story is much more interesting than a hundred daft Instagram stories yet here I am. 🙄

I really need to reduce my phone use

I usually try and put it in a different room in the evenings. But the problem is my H sits staring at his . And so does older dc . so half the time I end up I just thinking fuck it and go and get mine too 😞 it's a sad state of affairs

It's the internet for me, regardless of what I'm looking at it on. I thought it was just some sites and apps, but when I block those or reduce those I just end up flicking backwards and forwards between others. Anything to avoid what i'm really supposed to be doing.

It's terrible for work focus (self-employed) and the state of my house.

Focus apps that force me to type in a long string to unblock things work best for me because that puts me off breaking the rules, but in an emergency it's not impossible to break them (sometimes MN is actually the best place to find out about something in a hurry).

I've searched this on MN recently and so so many people despair that they don't read any more and think they've lost the ability to. It affects a lot of us.

Honestly, I think the endless browsing and scrolling really functions as an addiction, so needs to be tackled like that. It's hard to define 'sobriety', when so much internet use is actually legitimate and useful, though.

I just feel like I need to do something more extreme than just have time limits, as I've been trying those for a decade or more. I need some kind of complete reset.

One day I woke up and the safari icon was missing. I think it was a divine intervention 😆 I realised how amazing it was not scrolling lots. I then figured out how to get back into the internet so have tried a few ways to reduce phone time.

1. only looking at phone on the hour every hour for less than 5 mins.
2. setting a time restriction. Mine was 1.5 hours a day and dividing it up into morning, afternoon or evening slots.
3. Setting a time restriction on phone. For me it didn’t work as didn’t feel I was in control.

i think phone use causes premature aging as you’re facing down with gravity pulling skin. Also it messes with mental health, productivity and mood. I probably wouldn’t have time to join in with a group reducing their use but I’m with you in spirit. As a teacher I’m pretty sure we are cooking up huge problems for children that the government will have to address one day. How they’ll do it I don’t know! Phone use is hugely addictive and detrimental to a healthy life. Hope you manage to reduce and thank you for reminder that I need to get back on it too.

Best way I’ve found is to set a time limit that you’re happy with (I do 2.5hrs) get someone else to set a screen time passcode (iPhone). Key here is to go in to “app limits” AFTER they’ve set it and get them to type in the code so you can “block at the end of limit”. Stops you from being able to extend and override.

Also - before they set code alter the apps that you are allowed to use after limit is passed. So banking/maps/some messages/calculator etc etc so that you can use phone as a tool anytime.

Get a friend to set passcode that you’d be reluctant to ask for passcode from should you need it. I tried getting my DH to do it but because we’re so close it got to easy to reset. Have an accountability buddy. I’m down from 4.5 hrs to about 3 so getting there slowly!

I tried quite a few lock apps but ultimately don't think they work as they're not getting rid of the actual problem which is the drive/craving to use your phone. Its kind of like when Alan Carr talks about how cutting back the number of cigs you smoke doesn't work because you're still thinking like a smoker, just now you're a frustrated smoker

Seconding Cal Newport's Digital Minimalism book. It's about taking the time to really think about why you want to reduce internet/phone time, and what to do instead. It takes quite some effort, but is more effective imo than trying to hack the problem with apps and arbitrary rules.

Just saw that the audio book is on Spotify premium.
I love podcasts and audio books and can't listen to them while also doing other stuff on my phone so this might be a good route for me. Make a playlist of stuff to listen to which (in my case) forces me to just crank up the volume and listen while doing other stuff

I think it was that book where I read about deciding what to do instead and committing to do it. Which may be helpful for the PP upthread who said 'I really don’t want to go on my phone but don’t know what else to do' (@justabigdisco)

Which of course is easier said than done (and why I'm here) because phones/social media is designed to be addictive and to make us keep scrolling/refreshing, so perhaps people should not feel so bad about becoming addicted?

There was a documentary film that featured (I think) senior people at Facebook - I think it was called The Social Network. They said this, admitted how terrible it was, and that they discouraged their DC from using social media in a way similar to how parents would really not want their teens to experiment with illegal drugs. It's that bad.

So maybe the thing to focus on is to think about what other pastimes you'd prefer to do, whether it's reading, mindfully watching films/TV, crafting, exercise/activity or whatever and really resolve to do those instead? The hope being that once you get started, you'll start to enjoy it and get into the habit of picking up crochet, a book or getting out your yoga mat instead of defaulting to your phone when you have down time?

@BarbaraofSeville
You are so right people shouldn't feel ashamed of falling into the trap, as if it were some kind of moral failure or personal shortcoming. It has been designed this way.

Thanks so much for recommending this app, I downloaded it last night and I think this sort of reward based system will really help me. I hadn’t heard of it before despite trying several ‘restriction’ apps, so grateful you recommended it.

I have a book that talks about this it's called "Stolen focus" by johann hari.

It's very interesting and when I read it it dramatically decreased my phone use however it's since crept up again

I'm the same , horrified when I get my usage notification on a Monday.
I'm going to try and make sure it goes down every week.
I made myself read for an hour the other day, it was surprisingly difficult to not keep looking at the phone.
I worry I might find this quite difficult.

@janicegarvey I’m reading that at the moment. Very interesting although I haven’t got to a point where I can take any actions from it!

@BumbleUnicorn which app was this? Sorry I’ve seen a few suggested upthread.

It’s called Forest.

My screen time is ridiculous. It doesn't help that my job means I have to be in touch at all times, so I have to check emails/whatsapp a lot.

I know what you mean about not getting anything done though. I feel like my tech distracts me from everything else. I can't just sit and read a book without checking my phone to see if anything's happened. It's annoying. I used to read for hours when I was younger (before phones, laptops, TVs with unlimited channels) and I miss those days so much, but at the same time I have to make the most of the benefits tech brings work wise.

One of these days I'll find a balance. Today is not that day.

Working with tech makes it so much harder. It makes it more like food - you have to somehow manage moderation, not total abstinence, or find some definition of 'total abstinence' where you give up the bad stuff but keep the good stuff in small quantities. And all without becoming the "frustrated smoker" mentioned above, constantly waiting for the next window of permitted surfing, so still totally focused on it rather than having a properly free mind.