The four school friends in Wales

[PersonaNonGarter]

My heart is breaking for the parents of those four boys. Their sons look so lovely. What a waste.

Boys in cars are still every parent’s nightmare aren’t they?

I'm sorry if you misunderstood me. I felt it was totally unnecessary that certain poster was mentioning alcohol. I did not mean my post to come across as speculating in any way abd I'm very sorry if it did. I'm so sorry you lost your brother in such an awful way

threads like this are horrible and goulish
There is no silver lining
Seeing the fact they all
died together as a positive is vile
And as for speculation around alcohol
dear fucking god I despair

"Awful as it is at least they all went together."
I am sorry for the tragedy you have experienced. I absolutely do accept you do think this is terrible and you didn't mean to be insensitive, but please think again about what you said above in your pp. There is no 'at least' in this tragedy. If only any of the boys had survived for their loved ones and themselves.

threads like this are horrible and goulish
There is no silver lining
Seeing the fact they all
died together as a positive is vile
And as for speculation around alcohol
dear fucking god I despair

I agree. I know a family who went through something very tragic publicly. They did read things online, they still do, it adds to their grief and makes it harder. They are in touch with other families who have gone through similar and the vast majority feel the same. They don’t want it.

For people on this thread, you will carry on with your life, as you should, but these families will be dealing with this forever. Before you feel you must write your 30 words, trying to outdo the previous poster for the most profound thing to say, think of the real people actually dealing with this and don’t.

@AvengedQuince Thankyou for your reasoned response.

There's no happy ending in this scenario and I'm sad these boys have died on such a dangerous road.

Everyone else? This is a forum where people can respectfully put their thoughts. Which I did.

@HideAndSeekWithTheDog

I think most of the people on this thread are profoundly sad at the deaths and wish the families all the comfort possible.

The discord has been posters like you coming on and telling them off for expressing sadness. Hectoring posters they aren’t sorry in the right way that is acceptable.

Its understandable. Everyone wants to feel control. It’s scary - those boys had so much life about them.

@PersonaNonGarter

No, it’s not about control. I have watched real people go through it and I know this sort of thread online was very upsetting for them, and those they have now become friends with due to having tragedy on common.

People commenting like they knew them when they didn’t, the inevitable speculation and ill thought out comments cause them pain.

You choose to continue, knowing it causes families pain, because you think you saying what you want is more important their feelings. That is what it comes down to. I will never understand people like you who profess to care but their actions show otherwise.

Hiding the thread now. Do better.

It's bugger all to do with control
Its people finding silver linings in tragedy that has the fat sum of fuck all to do with them
Its beyond grim

Just yesterday I pooh pood my husband saying he didn't want DD to have a car full of her friends when she starts driving, she's going to be getting a car in a years time when she turns 17 so we've started discussions.

Then to hear the news this evening. I was in the middle of gown when I heard it on a radio, had a little cry.

How very sad.

What we should all be keeping in mind is that whilst as strangers, many of us are saddened by this news, we also need to remember there are four families lives that will be affected by this forever.
Four families that will have to face their first Christmas without their young men, not because they've found girlfriends, are travelling, or generally embarking on their independent lives, but because of a terrible accident has taken them forever.

I can't imagine, and hope I never have to understand the devastation they must be feeling.

And if they hadn’t “looked like nice boys” it would have been less of a shame?

Fucking hell, someone on this thread has even mentioned a “silver lining”. You can’t be for real.

@Notmanyleft very respectful aren't you with your foul language??

@Notmanyleft you seem very angry

And your comment is sensitive is it??

Bloody hell, will you listen to yourselves!
Arguing over over what's sensitive, what's insensitive, she said this, she said that.
Grow the hell up.

The main point of the thread, as an expression of grief and horror at how events have unfolded, seems to have been derailed. Everyone is in agreement with this and in recognizing the unimaginable pain that the families must be feeling right now. Can we not refocus on that instead?

Completely agree...''Silver lining?'' Get outta here.
Zero silver linings.

Same as when people say ''I'm hugging my son/daughter extra hard tonight''
It's just not appropriate.

Our neighbour's young adult son many years ago was killed in a traffic accident when a woman turned right at a junction without looking. {Edit..Witness in Court said this}

His parents never got over it.

How can a parent recover from something like this.

It's every parent's nightmare.

Same as when people say ''I'm hugging my son/daughter extra hard tonight''
It's just not appropriate

apologies

and yes every parents nightmare

I think this is an important point. A car full of lads needs different handling than a car with just an instructor as a passenger. New drivers so often seem to get caught out by this. I can’t even believe to imagine how their families and friends are feeling.

Desperately sad.