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Original poster

How to stop yourself buying too much 'stuff'

101 replies

Timetogoclutterfree · 18/11/2023 19:43

Although I'm far from the worst person for this, I've decided I'm buying too much stuff all the time.^^ I'm not going into debt and my house isn't overrun, but I do need to cut back.

It's just general things like such as, candles, I love them, but I buy them and then I don't always use them up or use the ones I've got before buying more.

Pyjamas, I have loads but I see new ones I love and can't resist. Coats, again, I have a good enough selection, but I'll see someone in a lovely coat and want another. I do use them, but storing them is a pain.

I've just ordered a load of stuff for one of my dc as I wasn't sure which size and style he'd need but I went overboard and now need to return loads.

Think I'm worse this time of year because I get drawn in by all the displays in the shops.

Any tips or advice on how to avoid mindless buying.

OP posts:
pizzaHeart · 18/11/2023 21:21

Can you have a nice goal : visit to somewhere and open saving account for it? Then arrange Direct debit however small the amount will be. Some saving accounts have really good interest rates atm.
Also I can afford buying some things but I do worry about CoL as there are some health issues in the family so thinking “what if” definitely helps to cut spendings, but it’s a difficult way mentally , saving account is much more positive.

Raspberrymoon49 · 18/11/2023 21:24

Think of the footprint you’re creating, all that packaging, petrol for returns, etc, it’s unsustainable that we’re all doing this, the climate can’t cope, I try to think that way about everything now for the future of kids and grandkids

JamSou · 18/11/2023 21:26

It’s an interesting topic, OP.

I certainly never had that problem until
later in life. Until I was 40 had very little,
hardly any clothes, two coats, maybe a couple of pairs of shoes, only one handbag.

20 years later I definitely have more. And it is nice to have the choice to wear such things.

BUT what I notice is the time and work involved in keeping stuff clean and organised, choosing stuff, taking care of stuff generally. It all takes time and effort!! When you have limited stuff life is simpler! Also there is a sense in which you start to feel controlled by your stuff rather than the other way round; keeping on top of it etc. I live in a flat and I also have no extra space for storage, which is another issue.

I think it’s one reason hoarders are usually so chaotic - they haven’t got time to genuinely sort stuff out. Those hoarders who are more organised - well it’s all they do all day ….

Just deciding you have enough is one decision.

Another PP mentioned is “one in, one out”. I bought 2 new handbags in a sale last week! Haven’t bought one for ages though. But I gave two to charity and another one is on eBay!

It’s lovely to have some nice stuff, especially if you’ve never had much previously and I really appreciate it. But I’m in my early 60s now and it feels generally like a time for saying I have enough ; I also have the time to streamline and give up things I don’t need or want anymore.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

General shopping
kitsuneghost · 18/11/2023 21:29

What others said about footprint is good
Another might be - do you drive and get frustrated by traffic levels? A lot is deliveries for people ordering stuff.

Volvooo · 18/11/2023 21:30

Pandemic and the financial pressure of ivf cured me of spending money on crap.

now we have a spending money system where I hold back £X of my salary and put the rest to our joint account. If I want something it goes on that debit card. I don't spend it but that's my set limit. Seeing it there in my account like that makes me want to save to buy a few nice things rather than fritter it away.

Whatwouldnanado · 18/11/2023 21:30

If you already have something that will do the same job don’t buy another. Put the same money into a separate account and save for a great holiday or to pay for a training course. Memories, knowledge and experiences will last you longer and do you more good than candles and pjs.

minipie · 18/11/2023 21:33

I don’t know if this will help you but I’m just really really fussy, this is what keeps my spending down.

I went into central London and looked round all the shops the other day, intending to buy stuff - came away with one basic T shirt. Same with online shops, 9/10 goes back.

If I see something I quite like but don’t love, I don’t buy it because I’d rather wait for a version I love.

I don’t like clutter. I love getting rid of stuff. I’m a bit of a minimalist at heart, I like clear surfaces and mostly empty walls, much more than I like stuff.

I do one in one out. For example if I liked scented candles, I’d have one, and look for another only when the first one is nearly used up.

Agree about waiting a week and seeing if you still want it.

WithIcePlease · 18/11/2023 21:34

2 things stopped me buying random stuff
First, an impending house move 10 years ago. I just didn't want extra stuff to move
Secondly, and this was the bigger one, was getting a dog. I didn't go round shops any more as an activity on my days off work and it's completely got me out of the habit.
Now I only really buy new if I need to replace something and have a one in one out policy.
I can see why people buy things - home sense has such lovely stuff - but I can't bear having cupboards that are too full to see what I actually have in them iykwim

Didsomeonesaydogs · 18/11/2023 21:35

I only allow myself to buy non-essential “stuff” for 10 days after my statement date. After that, I have to wait until the next month for anything other than food or car fuel. This stops me making impulse purchases.

I also think about how many hours I have to work in order to afford something.

Checking my bank balances every morning is another tactic that helps me control my spending.

Bikechic · 18/11/2023 21:43

Putting a bit of time between seeing something and purchasing it. Eg if you see some pyjama's in Sainsburys, think 'I'll buy them next week if I still want them' . Choose a day of the month for online purchases. Everything stays in the basket until then.
I buy things when I've been thinking about them for a while. Sometimes find a charity shop find in the meantime. Very often I decide I can manage with what I have.

GingerLiberalFeminist · 18/11/2023 21:51

Set a monthly budget for "stuff" eg £100 or whatever. Work towards that, then lower it.

Whenever I buy random stuff at the supermarket I make myself get something for the food bank. It reminds me of people struggling and disuades me from too much crap

VikingLady · 18/11/2023 21:58

Only take cash out with you, no card. It limits how much you can spend, plus it feels more "real" so you buy less.

TheDandyLion · 18/11/2023 21:59

Remove the saved payment details from all websites. Its such a faff having to go get the card number each time so it slows me down on those impulse purchases. I've tried to get into the habit of each time I want to buy something I put it in my notes and in 30 days if I still want the thing I can go and buy it. Usually I don't really want it anymore so I don't need to buy it.

JamSou · 18/11/2023 21:59

Yes @minipie that is my mentality also. Unless I absolutely “love” something I won’t buy it.

Botanica · 18/11/2023 22:03

For me, the only way is to remove temptation and turn off the tap. Remove apps, unsubscribe from digital and physical mailing lists and prioritise your scrolling time into better organising what you already have or other more productive channels.

Raspberrymoon49 · 18/11/2023 22:09

This ‘returns’ mentality is so depressing, we’re so flippant about online ordering because we can ‘just return it’ but that system is so harmful, it’s caused the demise of the high street and something like a quarter of vehicles on the road are for deliveries, it’s a horrible habit that’s so commonplace for many, I abandoned Amazon a while ago as can’t justify it in my conscience any longer

Lovemycat2023 · 18/11/2023 22:14

Maybe make a commitment not to buy anything new for a short period of time (say two weeks) and see how you find it. If that’s ok try it for a bit longer. But also don’t punish yourself if you work hard and want a reward.

Muddybooties · 18/11/2023 22:25

Bumping to read later

Loubelle70 · 18/11/2023 22:36

Im the same. Im more affluent than ive ever been. From a family with nothing, whereas when kids we didn't have a winter coat and had holes in our shoes. I think mine is a mindset...to never be cold again and have boots shoes. I have too many of both now... jumpers, coats, boots shoes. Tbh im fed up with it. I am also a candle 'collector'...i have an ottoman full of yankee candles..id say £500 worth 😮...and perfumes....id say £1000 worth. Its ridiculous. Reading this post and posts...ive decided to stop buying and start using.

PaminaMozart · 18/11/2023 22:43

I'm so familiar with this mentality, @Loubelle70

Buying things because now I can afford them whereas way back I couldn't, or my parents considered it 'unnecessary'. So I buy it and then I have to battle my urge to 'save special occasions' because it is 'too good for every day use'. Years later, there it still is, unused, taking up space... I'm getting better as I'm getting older but I still have to give myself a push at times.

LunaTheCat · 18/11/2023 22:54

OP don’t feel bad!
The whole capitalist system is designed so you want to have stuff !
I had a deprived background too ( we did have a sofa but it was filthy!)
For me the sign of having made it as an adult is to have lovely bed linen and clothes.
I just love clothes!… I cope by avoiding shops. I try to buy quality ( cotton, merino, cashmere). I also try to buy locally made… I am lucky to be able to do this.
I bought a dress yesterday which I didn’t need! The colours are amazing and it is a fine soft cotton. Feel guilty.
One in one out is good policy. I don’t subscribe to Amazon or Temu or Shien.
Practice mindful enjoyment things I have.
Decluttering helps me too… more mindful of not filling up space with things. I don’t need.

KCSIE · 18/11/2023 23:03

KirstenBlest · 18/11/2023 20:24

One in, one out.
If you buy something, what are you going to donate/sell/bin?

This. And no more than 3 duplicate items. E.g. PJ's - 1 set to wear, 1 in the wash and 1 in the drawer. That 3rd set is the next to cut back on...

JesusAndMaryPain · 18/11/2023 23:05

Don't go to the shops.
Don't make shopping a leisure activity.
Uninstall Instagram. It's basically a way to sell you stuff.
Our culture is designed to get you to buy shit. It is possible to resist but you have to train yourself to override your first response.

Loubelle70 · 18/11/2023 23:11

PaminaMozart · 18/11/2023 22:43

I'm so familiar with this mentality, @Loubelle70

Buying things because now I can afford them whereas way back I couldn't, or my parents considered it 'unnecessary'. So I buy it and then I have to battle my urge to 'save special occasions' because it is 'too good for every day use'. Years later, there it still is, unused, taking up space... I'm getting better as I'm getting older but I still have to give myself a push at times.

We could be same person. I save these things , candles, perfumes, good crockery...anything really, for special!!..some items i save for 'best'.. have been there years unopened and still tagged. Tbh i think im going to lose my affluence, so i always think that if i do...i can sell these things..(i always buy things like these that increase in price rather than decrease, just incase). Its very odd behaviour but understandable giving my upbringing