Who are the "popular" kids at school these days

[terrywynne]

I was just reading a BBC article about whether Mean Girls the musical is going to work in 2023 or of it is too "noughties". The implication seemed to be that it is no longer the case that the popular kids at school are the thin, diet obsessed, conventionally pretty, sporty, not very academic ones, and that there is more body positivity and less slut shaming around these days.

So who are the 'popular' kids at high school/sixth form? Is it even still that cliquey?

It is years since I was a teenager and my own DC are not at that stage yet. My memory of school in the late 90s/early200s is of the popular kids being pretty, confident, sporty, average to above average academically, and also just a very close knit group. I don't remember there being a particular thin obsession but there was no real social activism or anything either.

I think it's pretty normal for teenagers to do that (I was never popular and still badmouthed people with my mates). I'm not going to interrupt phone calls with her friends that I'm only partially overhearing. They all seem like very good teens. I do encourage her to be nice to people but can't really control conversations among friends.

Not sure there is a teen alive that has never bad mouthed other teens! Queen bee or nerdy geek…

It was in the news because apparently there is going to be a film version of the musical coming out. And the cast of the original film were in a Walmart ad or something.

Interesting to see the mix of "some things are better now" and, "but there are still mean girls and now there's social media too". Sounds like it is rather more nuanced than the article made out (which probably shouldn't be a surprise)

I think there are groups that assume they are the popular ones and there are groups where the girls are likeable and get on. Sometimes these are the same group/or overlap.
I suspect that the girls who were considered as the 'popular' group at DD's school were a mix - some genuinely nice, friendly kids and some horrors. Conventionally pretty, straight, sporty.
The groups of nerdy/alternative types were probably larger in numbers (thus arguably more popular) 😁

This is interesting my friends and I were the make up and boy obsessed crowd but definitley not mean to anyone... I wonder if some thought we were the mean girls if they didn't feel included in our group though? But I would have thought they'd have their own group

Interestingly at my all girls school the sporty ones weren't the cool girls... they were almost seen as comparable to the middle aged pe teachers. It was cooler to bunk off pe

I ask my dd this sometimes ! She's in year 10. She said it's not really like that anymore where there's a specific 'popular' group, there's a lot of overlap between friendship groups and everyone has their own friendship groups and just does their own thing ! they also fall out a lot and then make up

What's with all the awful, mysoginistic views on here towards teenage girls anyway . You do realise you're all talking about young girls that were only under ten a few years ago

Ds has just finished school. It was academically selective and to be honest nothing has changed. They are all clever but still divide into the usual groups. Boys “popular” would be rugby who look down on the footballers and rowers but cricket is still a “popular” sport since the majority of the rugby players play cricket. Girls “popular” pretty, thin and they control the guest lists for every party. It’s the girls that are in control.
I think it depends on how you define “popular”, to most adults it refers to being popular but to teenagers it is a descriptive term for the social group and they are often a very unpleasant group who exclude at the drop of a hat, but on the surface butter wouldn’t melt. They are also constantly in a state of high anxiety because they know one wrong word will lead to banishment.

Someone with a strong personality type who is friendly will usually be well liked even if not one of the popular crowd. A lot of alternative, quirky kids would fall into that category. That's not the same as being the cool crowd exactly but they definitely the ones the other students remember because they stand out.

Same unless they were also pretty and just fitted in with the others, liked the right things . Oh and had a Jane Norman bag.

Hmm Angry re controlling guest lists I must say I rather resent the parents of teen boys it’s always girls parents that get landed with hosting the teen parties the boys never seem to 🙄. Yet they rock up and if there is damage or trouble - it’s them 🙄. Yes I am bitter…

I finished my GCSEs in 2006, so I'm 32 and the popular girls when I was at school were all very pretty, slim, academically superior and yes they were nice, but didn't necessarily give you their time. They were the ones who were sad when we graduated because they loved school (I mean can you imagine, really?)

I used to think how well adjusted they were and I always felt like a scruffy, emotionally volatile cretin next to their shiny penny exterior.

But in reality, I suppose they just fit in more with that environment. I tried so hard to be more academic but I just wasn't that way (I was very average academically)

I really want my daughter to have a good experience when she goes to school, I want her to have a mind of her own but be well adjusted like those children. Comfortable in her own skin. I was so angry and sad and disgusted with myself, I desperately don't want that for her.

Good looking, rich and 'on trend'.

There's the odd really alternative one who is loved for being really funny and entertaining but generally school imitates life and the privileged ones stay ahead.

I went to a very rough school and the popular girls were referred to as “the Tashas” because about 40% of the group of about 15 popular girls were called Natasha. They wore a lot of makeup with an orange tide mark at their jaw line, had excessively gelled fringes that stuck out so far they looked shop awnings and big gold Argos hoops.

It was a bad school so being even vaguely academic put a target on your back immediately. The popular kids were the naughtiest, loudest and most disruptive. I was so anxious about my DC going to high school (definitely not the same school!) but thankfully kids seem to value different things now than they did in the mid 90s!

I think it's more the idea that the meaner the girl, the more popular she is- that's a very noughties idea.

There have always been mean girls but the film ran with the idea that it was somehow aspirational to be mean.

I think there are still mean girls but it's the pretty, outgoing, smart, nice girls who are popular now.

What never changes is they do have to be 'pretty' to be 'popular' (more so with other girls than anything else) 🙄

Agree holly that’s what I’m seeing. At dds girls school you sink down the social scale if you are consistently mean to others.

Here's the trailer for the new Mean Girls musical film

You can't tell it's a musical from the trailer!

I think it's similar to how it's always been, the nerdy ones are still picked on in a mixed-ability comp.
I don't have daughters but DP's eldest seems to float between the hierarchical groups in the school. She seems to be friends with everyone. From the Messers to the nerds.

All my dds have gone to the same all girls school. Two of them have been in the in crowd in their years - one is definitely the nicest, kindest person and just really lovely and charming. Yet very modest. I remember her telling me with just absolute joy and amazement how much she loved school and how many friends she had. She's at university now and much the same. All of her friends are just lovely.

On the other hand, my other dd who is very popular is in more of a mean girls kind of clique. I'm less impressed by her friendship group! And actually it's caused her a lot of stress because they are all so bitchy about each other too. (I don't think she's a mean girl, but maybe that's because of I'm her mum).

The mean girl clique is prettier I would say and more focused on looks and fashion.

I do think being pretty for a girl gives you a head start...the good looking crowd like to move together. For a boy to be the most popular, he usually was funny or tough and boys reached an age where they were obsessed about one of the best looking girls. Well, it was that way when i was growing up.

Yea agree but it has to be paired with confidence and style. You can get very pretty shy girls who potter along quietly heads down.

My older dd and her friends are more “normal” friendly averagely attractive studious cheerful. Dd2s crowd are like a glam squad they are much louder and more confident. They are not noticeably any meaner though from what I can tell. It’s a big thing to be very right on and kind (or to pretend to be).

I don't think it's the same now as it was when Mean Girls came out.

There's always the clique of obnoxious, loud girls who are obsessed with boys, dating, make up and walk around school with an attitude problem, but there's not been the same amount of status attached to the "popular girls" like there was when Means Girls came out. I've noticed more girls tend to roll their eyes and move on rather than hoping their school's version of Regina George will ask them to sit with them at lunch.

Genuinely popular students tend to be good all rounders in my experience. They aren't amazing at everything but usually out of academics, sport, music, drama, art, volunteering/student leadership, they'll do 2 or 3 of them so mix with a range of students. They're generally able to get on with lots of people, including people who aren't their core group of friends. They very likeable people.

Dd2 is like your second paragraph. Three separate families invited her on their summer holidays and she’s invited to every party going. She’s very good company I can see why she is popular. She’s not mean though quite the opposite.

My 12 year old always says the 'popular' kids are the naughty ones but i think it's more people are scared of them haha. I still think you have all the different groups so that does work .