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Original poster

Who are the "popular" kids at school these days

103 replies

terrywynne · 17/11/2023 10:16

I was just reading a BBC article about whether Mean Girls the musical is going to work in 2023 or of it is too "noughties". The implication seemed to be that it is no longer the case that the popular kids at school are the thin, diet obsessed, conventionally pretty, sporty, not very academic ones, and that there is more body positivity and less slut shaming around these days.

So who are the 'popular' kids at high school/sixth form? Is it even still that cliquey?

It is years since I was a teenager and my own DC are not at that stage yet. My memory of school in the late 90s/early200s is of the popular kids being pretty, confident, sporty, average to above average academically, and also just a very close knit group. I don't remember there being a particular thin obsession but there was no real social activism or anything either.

OP posts:
Original poster
terrywynne · 17/11/2023 11:08

I hope this is increasingly the case - a couple of people have said the same. But it does seem to vary by area and school by the sound of it. (I guess that was probably always the case, you just don't notice if you don't go to more than one school).

OP posts:
BreadBag · 17/11/2023 11:09

At my DD's school, as it ever was, the popular boys are the football team who are all dating the netball team are the ones people aspire to be.
Then there is
The over made up mean girl group who think everyone aspires be them as they are influencers (have a tik-tok doing hair and make-up)
The drama/music kids who love each other and don't care what anyone else thinks.
Then the LBTQ+ kids with their societies that make a lot of noise about inclusion but exclude anybody who isn't one of them.
And a whole lot of kids that just go to school get on with it and don't worry about this nonsense.

babbygabby · 17/11/2023 11:10

Surely it’s always going to be the pretty/handsome ones with money etc?

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NovemberName · 17/11/2023 11:11

yellowlane · 17/11/2023 10:30

My dd says the popular ones are the sporty, confident and pretty ones. She goes do grammar so they're all pretty smart.

Good grief this post says a lot more about you than you'd intended!!!

Original poster
terrywynne · 17/11/2023 11:13

Interesting that there are more "groups" and also ones that seem more positively defined. I remember it being popular kids/swots/badly behaved/everyone else. Not really a positive set of traits!

It all feels a bit weird looking back as an adult though like how many of us really fit into just one "group".

OP posts:
LeRougeEtLeNoir · 17/11/2023 11:13

@HibernianHibernator actually I think you’re right.

Dcs went to a ‘tougher’ secondary and a posh one.
At the rougher secondary, being clever STILL wasn’t a good thing at all. (That’s one big reason why they changed school). Whereas the posh secondary was all about being sporty, nerdy (performing arts too but they were like a separate group iyswim).

skgnome · 17/11/2023 11:16

My DD goes to an all girls school and says the popular girls are the sporty and friendly ones
according to her the most popular girls are the ones in the main school teams but the ones that are generally nice to everyone
according to her the popular kids on the school some of her other friends go are the “90’s Disney kids” (her words) - which will fit the mean girls stereotype

Loveandloveandlove · 17/11/2023 11:19

My daughter is not popular. She is very academic but not sporty in the slightest. In the high school she attends, all of the bitchy girls are the popular ones and all of the boys who mess around. Pupils who answer back to the teachers and never do their homework are very popular. Oh and you have to have a cropped padded coat if you are a girl and wear your skirt like a belt. High school is way more horrific than it used to be.

LearnFromMyMistakes · 17/11/2023 11:21

I think most young people today have the sense not to want to fit into a particular group and just do their own thing.

Legselevens · 17/11/2023 11:47

All children are capable of being mean and many a teacher will verify this. I am sure there are popular children in most of the groups, it is subjective from person to person/area to area as per the answers on this thread.

LeRougeEtLeNoir · 17/11/2023 13:23

LearnFromMyMistakes · 17/11/2023 11:21

I think most young people today have the sense not to want to fit into a particular group and just do their own thing.

Actually I’m sure it’s true.
It’s still important for teenagers to be part of A group. One with people they can relate to, have a good time with etc… they might be close friends but it gives them a feeling of Belonging, which is essential.

It’s the same fir adults imo. Otherwise yo have the door wide open for isolation and loneliness to set in,

SandyWaves · 17/11/2023 13:27

I think teachers might be best placed to answer this question given they are in school.

Teachers, any views?

troppibambini6 · 17/11/2023 13:38

My daughter is in "the popular group" at her grammar school.
They are nice and don't tolerate shit stirrers or people being nasty. There are two girls in their form like this and have all been on the receiving end of their nastiness and now will have nothing to do with them.
They are all pretty, very sporty, confident and push the boundaries at school sometimes. Although their school is very very strict so nothing too major.
They are all very into fashion and have things everyone wants and generally have a cool vibe going on (in other 13 year olds eyes).

FlamingoYellow · 17/11/2023 13:48

My best friend in secondary school was a Regina George type and I was one of her swishy haired followers 😂. I would love to think that that bitchy, cliquey behaviour has stopped now, but I'm sure it will carry on forever, as Mean Girls predicted!

SophieinParis · 17/11/2023 14:06

I’ve worked in secondaries, all girls/mixed/private and state. The thin thing of the 00s is definitely not a thing anymore. In fact, a curvier shape, big boobs, thighs, bum etc seems to be way more in vogue, at least for teen girls. Maybe because the skinny little ones look quite young? Anyway, most teen girls I know love their chips/cake etc and more importantly, comments on others’ body shape don’t seem be acceptable anymore.

skyeisthelimit · 17/11/2023 14:13

DD is Year 11. The popular girls don't want to know her. They are obsessed with boys, makeup, mobile phones glued to their hands 24/7, TikToks and DD isn't. They are thin and caked in makeup, perfect hair, skirts rolled up etc. DD is none of those things so they are mean to her. She gets called names for being different, she gets called names for standing up to them.

DD can't wait to leave and is hoping that College will be better.

She loves Heathers the musical.

MrsVeryTired · 17/11/2023 14:18

Work in school, agree with @skyeisthelimit
Not definitely necessary to be thin anymore but definitely pretty/wearing the right clothes/boy-obsessed

TheDuchessOfMN · 17/11/2023 14:25

When I was in school, the popular/cool girls smoked, weren’t very bright, weren’t necessarily athletic, were generally mean and unpleasant, eg would snigger at someone who is smart or in the choir

These days, I think it’s not cool to smoke or vape, it’s not seen as uncool to do very well academically (if anything, it’s the opposite and they’re extremely competitive) and they are good at sports.

Saveourholiday9 · 17/11/2023 14:28

At the school I am at, the popular kids are usually either actually a bit scary, so the others don’t want to be on their wrong side, or they are the ones that seem to be older then their age- expensive accessories, beauty treatments, hair etc. of this second group, personality wise some are nicer then others and there can be an air of superiority at times. Popular boys are more likely to be the ones who misbehave. A lot of the ‘popular’ kids are the ones with lots going on outside of school- I mean serious or dramatic relationships, socialising etc which tends to make them seem more grown up to the others, and it elsewhere spills into school!

myboyatuni · 18/11/2023 20:03

My experience as a teacher .. sporty ones, over confident , who party. My son when he was at school would have agreed.

Abbyant · 18/11/2023 20:03

I think it very much depends on where you live, I’m from Liverpool and it seems to be the loud mouthed chav’s that seem the popular ones.

Thehonestybox · 18/11/2023 20:11

Mean girls was just American, not too noughties.

In my school the popular girls were the richest, who were also generally the smartest.

The bully girls were the most attractive of the rougher girls.

coxesorangepippin · 18/11/2023 20:20

Good looking in whatever way is acceptable, confident and clever basically

CesareBorgia · 18/11/2023 20:22

Interesting thread! Back in the dark ages the 1980s, it was the white stilettos, heavy-eyeliner, split-pencil-skirted gang who put so much hairspray on their enormous perms that you'd choke if you had the misfortune to be in the loos at the same time. Always boasting about having sex with older boyfriends. Girls who didn't do likewise were called 'virgins' or 'lesbians' (in those days of widespread homophobia 'gay' and 'lesbian' were used as insults with impunity).

TootenCarMoon · 18/11/2023 20:23

The above average/greater depth learning kids who like sport as a bonus are the popular ones in the school I work at.
Kids who mess around, answer adults back etc are seen as a nuisance, disruptive and not popular at all.
The popular kids are generally polite, want to do well in life and are high achievers.
Being at the bottom academically is not something to be aspired to which is quite different to when I was at school when it wasn’t cool to be top of the class.