Music exam misery

[PressedFlowers]

This is about me, not a DC, as today I sat my first ever music exam.

And it went awfully, despite playing pieces/scales through an hour before at home really well. But nerves got the better of me.

I have always wanted to play an instrument and feel so disappointed in myself that years of hard work don’t matter because I couldn’t perform.

logically I know exams ≠ being able to play. And if I had an upset DC I would not have this mindset.

anyone else had similar?

I still have the jitters about my grade 5 piano exam. It was an excrutiating experience!

You might well have done better than you think.

Work on the nerves and go on to the next one!! These things are learning experiences - at least you did it so you are ahead of most people.

Or you might decide not to bother with exams, that is all good too!

I was in exactly the same place as you OP 4 years ago
Did g1 and 2 as a child - got very nervous
Then took g3 knew the scales, was all over the dynamics in the pieces much better sight reading but fucked up the exam anywayI passed but only just

I have since discovered I think I Have adhd and my interest in the piano has waned a bit.

I took grade 4 three times and failed every time, despite playing more difficult pieces 'for fun'. Don't beat yourself up about it. Music should be enjoyed not endured, do it because you love it not for the certificate.

Yip one of the most terrifying things ever

It gets easier

Having a banana beforehand can help calm some of the jitters

But also have you any experience playing with others ? Taking part in small performances ? All helps - you get more used to listening to what you are doing than panicking

I took a grading at 18 which I wasn’t really quite ready for with hindsight, but knowing I was about to leave school not having done a grade in 4/5 years I went for it. I worked really hard and my pieces were ready even if everything else was a bit dodgy. On the day the pieces went badly ☹️ I was so devastated and was convinced I’d failed. However I literally scraped the pass mark! Never been more delighted. So you never know, you may have done better than you think. I hope so 😊

Not sure I could ever do another music exam! I used to be OK with the stuff I could overlearn, so scales and pieces, and the aural part tended not to be too tricky at grades 5 and below. But the part that always threw me was sight reading. You know how when you’re stressed you can only see and do one thing at a time? Well I swear I could only decipher one note at a time, at a quarter speed. Urgh, I don’t miss it.

Thanks everyone for replying, it’s helpful to hear similar experiences!

In response to a previous post - no experience performing at all (excepting in vicinity of family/ for teacher), which definitely would’ve been useful to have!

Grade exams for music just seem to suck the joy out of it. Play for pleasure and dont spend time going over and over… and over the same pieces and scales.

If you’d like to take an exam but suffer from nerves, many exam boards offer digital exams, where you can make a video entry. That way, if you’re not satisfied with your performance, you can just make another video.
ABRSM & TCL do this

I used to be a musician and then I taught for a while. Lots of people have had your experience!

If you want to do more exams, the best thing you can do is to get some practice playing situations as close to exam stress as you can.

Maybe that means getting your friends to come round and hear you play. Or your most critical relative. Or recording yourself playing and putting it on a related forum asking for feedback! Or play through it all with an alarm or a siren going off in the background.

If you give up on exams after today it would be a shame. Far more of a pity if you didn't try performing in front of others at all, again. But neither would matter that much compared to giving up playing altogether. Many people get thousands of hours of pleasure from playing an instrument without ever performing or sitting an examination, and that's absolutely fine.

PS most people are terrible judges of their performance - the results may yet be a lot better than you expect!

Thoughts are with you. I did music exams all through school and used to get horrible anxiety/panic attacks/hysterics before and after - to the point I had to take rescue remedy type things to stagger through them.

nothing in my life has ever given me that level of anxiety - and I’ve spoken at Parliament, lectured to 500 people, sat exams through to post grad….all of which should be stressful!

I am convinced Satan himself designed music exams

I started learning piano at the age of 53 a year ago. I did my grade 1 a couple of months ago as a digital exam....there is no way I would have considered it if it had been an in person exam. Had enough of them at med school!

You do however have to submit one continuous recording of all three pieces in one take. You can't record each piece separately. I think this is possibly more of a challenge for a lot of candidates compared to performing live for an examiner.

“But neither would matter that much compared to giving up playing altogether.” How beautiful. And very true. ❤️

Thanks everyone! What exactly is so terrifying about them?! Especially as an adult having done various in-person exams before!

My youngest hates in person exams and won't do another one, he does the recorded performance exams.

DS1 absolutely loves going to the exam centre, he is doing another exam soon and is really excited to play on the grand piano they have. His school teacher took him last time and said he was talking to the examiner for ages after as he has a no show.

He wants a job that will enable him to afford a piano like the one at the Halle and a house to put it in.

You have to do what works for you, and doesn't spoil you enjoyment of learning.

Yes, the recorded exams have their own challenges!

We don’t have UK style music exams in Germany and I did not like how progressing to the next grade just becomes a tick-box race. I have no idea what grade I would be on the piano, in my lessons we explored different styles and whatever I was interested in. Pieces did get more difficult over time, but enjoyment of music was more important. Just challenge yourself, who actually cares about these grades?

I think the trouble is we don’t tend to perform to others on a regular basis as we would have done in the past. Even when I was a kid you had e.g. the science teacher playing a Haydn sonata before assembly, the musical Fifth Formers accompanying the junior school hymn singing, but now it’s something on YT or a recorded accompaniment. And most of the time, when we see a performance live it’s so perfect and professional as to be unattainable to us mere mortals.

It’s a shame, because the level of understanding of a piece of music you can get when you play it is far deeper than merely listening; it’s like you’re talking to the composer.

I would like exams to take into account physical limitations like hand span when setting pieces. My piano playing ground to a halt when my hands failed to get big enough for octave passages.

I know an ABRSM examiner and he says that they work from a base line of you passing the exam and adding points to get credit/merit/distinction. So unless you have had an utter disaster don't worry. It's a big thing going into those exams as an adult !

Have you thought about doing a digital exam. These are recorded in your own time. When you are ready to play them. At home. When you have a recording of the pieces and tests you are happy with you upload them to the website.

www.trinitycollege.com/qualifications/digital/digital-grades-diplomas

I’ll definitely look into recorded ones. Although maybe I’d lose a whole day to recording! 😂

I think you would be better joining sone groups and playing more publicly

Partly because it's such great fun when you get over the nerves - playing with others is one of the best things in life

It also helps your playing with timing and the like

( says she who is never doing any more exams ever )

I did my grade 1 aged 8 and my grades 7& 8 aged 52&54. The feeling of going into the exam room in my 50s brought flashbacks to my earlier grades. Playing an unknown piano is horrible
Well done for trying I'm sure all will be good and keep up the playing. I've let mine slide during COVID as teacher moved away but now I'm retired I have no excuse!!