Music exam misery

[PressedFlowers]

This is about me, not a DC, as today I sat my first ever music exam.

And it went awfully, despite playing pieces/scales through an hour before at home really well. But nerves got the better of me.

I have always wanted to play an instrument and feel so disappointed in myself that years of hard work don’t matter because I couldn’t perform.

logically I know exams ≠ being able to play. And if I had an upset DC I would not have this mindset.

anyone else had similar?

Definitely agree about the unknown piano! It was a beautiful grand, though.

My 7yo has her first exam coming up and I’m really stressed. It’s bringing back all the nerves from when I did them. She really could go either way from storming it and getting a distinction to crashing and burning. I’m just hoping for a nice examiner who puts her at ease.

Good on you for taking it though. I’m trying to re-learn the piano and I don’t think I could stomach an exam again.

So sorry to hear about your experience OP. My children are now 29 and 33 and both describe music exams as being the most stressful thing they ever did - worse than driving tests or uni exams.
I remember going to do my Grade 7 piano and we had to go a neighbouring piano teacher's house for it. I was faced with a grand piano with 3 pedals!! I hadn't a bloody clue which 2 equated to the ones I was used to at my teacher's house. Amazingly I got the best mark I'd had for any piano exam - 117 so it wasn't brilliant.
I've often thought of going back to do Grade 8 just so I could say I'd completed them but that feeling of dread would prevent me.

Good luck to your daughter! My examiner was absolutely lovely, so hopefully hers will be the same :)

Grade 7 is brilliant. I’ve been mentally calculating how old I’d be if I ever got to G8 but after last weeks experience it won’t be a possibility!

It would be great to say you’ve completed them though, I understand that :)

My husband and I are both professional musicians as is one of our children. Doing exams really seems to me to be an unnatural and anti-musical experience. Performing should be about communicating with an audience, bringing joy, or introspection, or any number of emotions to people who are listening to you with joy and with open hearts. Playing is also about the wordless communication with your fellow musicians, and about the insight that you get into your own psyche. Exams, on the other hand, are about proving yourself to a bored, judgemental (though perhaps kindly and goodwill) examiner- a music exam is such an unhealthy situation that it is very natural for people to feel uncomfortable in it!

I think exams exist because the UK system finds it easier to fit people into this mould, rather than to provide opportunities for students to perform before a real audience. It saves trouble for teachers, but it does not bring inspiration into the lives of the students. I know very few serious performers who did music exams (the Menuhin School for example doesn't let children do them).

I know that exams can provide a goal to work towards, but if you can find a different sort of goal, such as learning a sonata with a friend and playing it for your two families, or joining an amateur chamber music weekend where you get coaching from a wonderful chamber musician, you might find that your performance is something exciting that you look forward to and that everyone in the room really enjoys!

I disagree. Exams serve a purpose in that they force you into practicing the technical elements that are essential to master to become a better musician. It was only with the hindsight of taking my grade 8 I wished I'd spent more time practicing my scales!

You can enjoy music and learn effectively without grades. I know a couple of musicians who just took grade 8. I am not sure how unusual that it but one of them passed with distinction (they only took the grade so they could prove their ability).

I do remember being told grade 8 is just the beginning! Same with a black belt in martial arts.

My son gave up piano exams at Grade 5. He's now a composer and one of those annoying people who can just hear a tune and sit down and play it with all the correct chords etc. He gave up on exams as he didn't like playing classical music.

When DS takes exams he is completely blasé about them and always seems to get at least merit - I'm sure he would always get distinction if he tried a bit harder.

I'm a self taught musician (guitar) and have put myself in for grade 5 just as a bit of a challenge really and I'm crapping myself about it. It hasn't helped that apparently I've managed to pick the 3 hardest pieces in the book - spoke to a teacher who said "I haven't had a single student pick that one, it's not grade 5!" 😱

So I will report back when I completely stuff it up.

Hi @PressedFlowers
Well done on taking your first exam, very impressed by your determination!
Just wondering if you have received your results yet as DC sat theirs on 15/11 and we’ve heard nothing.

My son says he would have continued his saxophone if he knew he could do it without the exams. I wish I had known this too - but to play in the school orchestra you had to have X exam and exams seemed to be the focus of all the lessons so we didn't know it was optional!
Forget them and just play for enjoyment.

I do really feel for you, @PressedFlowers , but I do admire you for being brave enough to take the exam at all!

I went back to the piano after too many decades to mention, and I’d only ever passed grade 2, so it was almost a case of starting again from scratch. After about a year of working on my own I joined a group keyboard class, and kept promising myself that eventually I’d take grade 5. And after a few years I did more or less reach that standard, and at least twice worked on the ABRSM pieces and the scales etc., but I never felt quite ready.

But in fact if I’m completely honest, it was largely because I was just too chicken to put myself through it.🐔😩
Exams aren’t the be all and end all though - I’m sure you’ll still get a lot of satisfaction from being able to play pieces you really like.

Don't beat yourself up, OP. It happens to many of us!

I was/am a pianist (don't play much anymore). I never failed an exam, but I never did anywhere near as well as I was capable of doing because of severe performance anxiety. I loved my music and played for at least two to three hours a day after school, much (much!) more during my senior years. I loved to play and didn't mind people listening to me, it was watching me that I had a problem with!

As part of my high school leaving certificate, I did music composition and performance. We had to do the performance part at the Conservatorium of Music in Sydney, in front of a panel of about 6 'judges'. After playing a couple of other composer's pieces, I then had to play my own composition.

It's really depressing when the worst performance of your life was playing your OWN piece! 🤣

I went back to the piano as an adult and did exams because I had a sort of bet with my brother! Grade 6 piano went really well but Grade 7 was a disaster. I passed by one point and I really think that the examiner just took pity on me as a mature student as I didnt manage to play anything right! After that I gave up exams and decided to choose my own repertoire - best decision ever! I hope that whatever mark you get OP, you will still continue playing!

@Greenfinch7
Exams, on the other hand, are about proving yourself to a bored, judgemental (though perhaps kindly and goodwill) examiner- a music exam is such an unhealthy situation that it is very natural for people to feel uncomfortable in it!

I know very few serious performers who did music exams

Which serious performers are you thinking of? All the ones I know have done many exams and diplomas / associate qualifications before embarking on serious training. And then more afterwards in some cases. Certainly true for DH who is a professional musician.

He was also an ABRSM examiner until recently- never bored but obviously judgemental as that's what exams are about.

If it's any consolation @PressedFlowers he nearly always found adult candidates were more nervous, especially if they only ever performed alone at home. Maybe ask your kindest friends round for a musical soirée and impress them.

Lifeinlists and Namenotavailablagain I expressed myself poorly, and I don't blame you for misunderstanding. My family has several musicians in it who are well known, so have played concertos with Halle Symphony, Liverpool symphony, etc. I am just trying to say that in my experience exams are not a necessary or natural part of learning to play an instrument and are not something that people in other countries focus on in the way it happens in the UK. (People might have exams at different stages of learning, but it is not the focus the way it is here, more of something that happens on the side.) In England, it is seen as extremely important to do these exams, and I feel that that focus is unhelpful for many people. If the goals were small performances, teachers' class recitals, finding places to play chamber music, I believe the anxiety and feeling that you were a certain level, would be less toxic.

I remember getting a comment on my singing part that the rhythm was correct 😄

I had a bad experience with my grade piano 5 exam, and i’ve never forgotten the feeling I had doing it when I realised the examiner was an arsehole, even though I was only 12. He was boorish, unshaven and disheveled and lounged with his feet up on the desk in front of him. As soon as I started playing, he started shuffling his bum in his chair, so it kept squeaking loudly.

I only passed by 1 mark, and he wrote a snide remark about me in the comments section.

AB board examiner.

Our experience of AB examiners was that that the ones who appeared nice and chatty and made you feel at ease, tended to mark lower than the uncommunicative ones,

I play a musical instrument to a high standard, but stopped doing grade exams at grade 5 (which I passed). I love music, but get no enjoyment from exams at all. I am motivated to improve, and play with an ensemble. Music exams take the joy out of it for me, so I stopped doing them. If possible, join an ensemble. Being around people with the same hobby as you will be brilliant, and you'll grow as a player. Exams aren't what motivates everyone, and by doing them when they stress you out so much, you just take the joy away from music.

Again I disagree. The ABRSM (which is followed internationally) structure gives a training scheme to hang the learning from. It's not about a focus on exams - most people actually skip some, I only took grades 2, 6, 7 and 8 on one instrument and prelim and 8 on the other. The need to take the theory is equally important to understand the musicality of the pieces you're playing.

It's no difference to dance or sports. The structure is there to ensure key learning targets are met. A good teacher will encourage learning outside of exam pieces and find music of a similar standard to engage with.

Maybe I was lucky to have him then as a nice one might have failed me!

@Namenotavailableagain while ABRSM, Trinity, RSL etc do market themselves internationally (at least to English-speaking countries) the focus on board music exams does seem a particularly British thing. There’s no equivalent in Germany or France for example.