What would you think if someone's DP did this?

[DontIdeservebetterthanthis]

If someone told you their DP used their phone to send messages to people without declaring it was him writing them, what would you say to that person?

I'd say it was weird and ask why they allow that. I'd also probably stop messaging them.

Did you get an odd message?
Could it be an excuse for a message they regret sending maybe?

It's up to the DP's partner to speak, not you.

No it's nothing like that.

To speak to who?

I have occasionally answered texts for DP while he’s driving and not declared it was me. For example, if I spot that his mate messages while we are driving to meet him and says “can we meet at the other pub” DP will ask me can I just reply “yes mate” for him. I consider this to be fine.

If you are talking about someone who monitors their partners phone and replies conversationally without letting on then that’s a bit weird and smacks of trying to find out personal info perhaps or being controlling.

I'm not talking about someone typing a message on their behalf but about a message that didn't originate from the 'sender'.

I’d think the P was immature and manipulative. If it happened with friend’s consent I would be unimpressed. Presumably he reads her texts too.

I would ignore messages from them and call them if I wanted a chat. (I'm assuming that you want to continue talking to this person and the content isn't nasty or smutty)

I'd say that's fucking weird of them. Why do they do it? Is it control ? and I'd tell them they need to tell the recipient (s) of these messages who's actually sending them.

I wouldn't want to be messaging someone under those circumstances. What if they give out information they didn't want anyone other than the person they thought was reading to know?

Really need more context..

Depends on the kind of message I suppose? And the reason it was done, hard to say with the info provided!

Seems quite controlling and odd behaviour. I'd hate to think I was messaging a friend and for it to be their partner. I've no issues chatting to my friends partners but I like to know who I'm talking to regardless.

I’d say that was bloody weird and I wouldn’t want to contact my friend by text any more.

If this is your partner, it’s time to do something about it.

Yeah more information is needed but I think this sounds odd.

The context is taking the phone and responding instead of letting them respond.

That feels very controlling. A dumping offence, IMO.

I agree it's controlling. It happened to me a long time ago in a context that was quite alarming. I left - not immediately but that was because it took time to be in a position to leave.

Now I am aware of it happening to someone else and I understand all the reasons why it can be hard to leave but I really think that life has more to offer than being stuck with a controlling man. Perhaps there are plans afoot. I do hope so for their sake.

Depends on the context. We answer each other's phones all the time when it comes to school stuff/responding to parents etc.
The rest of the time, we wouldn't.

So a friend sends me a message ' hey fancy the cinema Wednesday? ' and my oh takes my phone and says ' no sorry I'm already busy, another time? ' yeah I wouldn't like that

I'd tell them to dump the arsehole.

It all depends whether the person consents to DP sending on their behalf. Does she have hand issues?

Why are people determined to make excuses for this behaviour? No, she doesn't.

I'm not excusing, I'm trying to figure out why without jumping to abuse. You haven't given much away that would be fecking useful. Context really does matter.

I already said "The context is taking the phone and responding instead of letting them respond." Not sure how that isn't sufficient.