I will try not to drip feed but don’t want to be Outed
older dsis has always been financially reckless always up to her eyes in debt she works full time earns good money and has had some good fortune like 50k pay out when her company merged but she always ends up broke again. All my adult life it has been an issue from her asking me to lend her money be a guarantor on loans etc she doesn’t take no for an answer so I used put in wrong date of birth so it would decline etc. she has borrowed thousands from dm who would then come to me in tears worried about her or money herself- she had plenty
I genuinely think she has issues she’s never married or had children and is extremely overweight so i think the spending on holidays cars home improvements are trying to prove she happy and successful. She has many times ranted she’s far more successful than her friends especially those who married and had dc as she’s traveled more except it’s dm who has paid
fast forward to more recently dsis no longer asks me for money after I confronted her politely about convincing dm to pay £14k for what she believed was life saving surgery but was weight loss surgery I knew nothing about dm paying and I was told it was bowel surgery she was having to repair damage from her previous weight loss surgery on the nhs. I simply said dsis shouldn’t ask for the kind of money and dm shouldn’t agree to lend it if it’s going to leave her short or upset her that prompted dsis to give her hairdresser a massive rant infront of my adult dd that I am just jealous of her and I know not to cross her as she will block me and the next time i will see her will be at dm funeral which was embarrassing for my dd
more recently dm who is not in good health had some damage to her property huge insurance claim no kitchen etc dsis of course wanted to take the lead has argued with every tradesman the insurance company you name I knew dsis had downloaded dm banking app dm wanted to check her balance as she was no longer getting statements dsis turned them off and dm can no longer get to the bank and she totalled that dsis had stolen £10k in 7 months
dsis had also been mithering about dm power of attorney and had suggested equity release turns out dsis has sole power of attorney so a family meeting was called dsis had obviously spoken to dm first ironically they had been on a trip for dsis next lot of life saving surgery costing 30k which dm no longer has in savings so dm said she was happy to have lent her the money as she needs it and as she is the eldest wants her to have power of attorney she did admit she doesn’t always ask her first which both me and dsis have recorded I said that’s fine I had voiced my concerns but if they are both ok with it fine and I respect dm wishes regarding poa
i haven’t heard anything from either of them since August dsis has blocked me on Facebook I know dsis is manipulating dm being financially abusive and will probably have changed the will i probably should report but it all makes me so sad we’ve had an awful year 6 sudden young deaths including dh 60 year old brother who had a sudden heart attack and we had to switch off his life support this is causing me so much stress not seeing my family
i am not interested in dm money my mortgage is nearly paid off we have lived within our means although inheritance would mean i could give my dc deposits for houses etc dsis has a long distance boyfriend who doesn’t work doesn’t own a house who she met on the internet 5 years ago who dm doesn’t know about and she is planning on marrying when dm passes away dsis health is poor and i really don’t want all dm and my df who passed away when I was a baby hard earned money going to some random person who dsis hardly sees