Amount of Housekeeping paid by adult working child?

[Eeepsh]

DS (21) is living back at home after Uni and has started a good, well paid job. Trying to work out how much he should be contributing to the household.
It would include all food, washing etc

If you're in the same position, how much does your child pay you per month please?

£550

£200. He also saves monthly into a private pension and into a help to buy isa.

I don’t believe in charging adult children unless you need the money. Why would you be doing his washing?

If it's presumably you, your partner, and adult child then just split all grocery bills, utility bills, etc, by three..

Rather than a specified amount I have my two contribute directly.

They pay a third each of the gas and electric bills - this was a tactical move to stop them being reckless with their usage.

I buy pantry staples but they buy and cook their own food otherwise.

They can bloody well do their own washing, though they're free to throw some into a load I'm doing if there's room.

My daughter pays me £600 and she still has a grand left. Saving up for a deposit.

Why not? When you're working you have a responsibility to contribute towards housing costs.

We always charged our children 10% of their earnings. This made it fair no matter who earned the most (I have 3 earners at one time )

so for 10% of their take home pay they had all basics provided. If they wanted fancy stuff like posh shampoo they got it themselves, all food/laundry/cleaning/bills were covered. But they were brought up to help with chores and to be honest they always did help without asking, put bins out changed beds did dishes etc

I found it more cost effective to cook and do the laundry as a family I don’t understand this everyone do their own washing my machine would only ever have half loads 2 or 3 times a day !?

I would like to point out though, we were in the fortunate position of not needing their money. But felt that they needed to learn that you need to pay for the basics like bills and it was a life lesson. Until they left home they were unaware that everything they paid was put into a separate account and when they eventually got their own places it was given back to them. But we were lucky we could afford to do that.

I would advice if you can afford it - 10-20 % of the take home pay is plenty and that covers all basics

20% of their income.

I agree with splitting bills by a third, that's a great approach. Not mortgage obviously, but utilities and food. And they can pay their own phones.

Laundry - again, totally agree with the pp who says it's wasteful and silly to have half loads going on, as long as laundry makes it to the laundry basket it gets washed. Obvs DCs responsible for putting own laundry away/ironing if that's a thing in your house.

Food - it would make me physically unwell to not cook for people living in my house, it's just not in my nature. That would come into the third bills. If they wanted anything that I wasn't cooking then they could buy it themselves.

My son before he moved out, well paid job £500

My daughter on minimum wage in hospitality £0

Once they graduated, were earning reasonable money and had paid off student overdrafts, dds paid roughly half of what they’d have had to pay for a flatshare locally (rent only, no bills). We didn’t need the money but before they eventually moved out I thought they needed to have at least some idea of what a roof over your head, bills and food, actually cost. Otherwise it can come as a nasty shock.

But this was before rents and house prices soared. Nowadays I would probably make it rather less - as long as they saved a fair bit and weren’t frittering it all away.

We did years later help with house purchase deposits.

Dss pays £250. He does his own washing.

That’s an excellent idea someone had about the adult child paying for a pension.

Those who aren’t taking any money may consider doing that. It’s the best advice that they won’t think they need until it’s too late! You don’t think about the future as a teen/twenty, and then regret not doing more when you’re 40 and feeling like it’s a bit late!

I paid £350 plus food £15 years ago. My children are coming up to late teen age and I've told them I'll support them in education but if they want to live like adults they can pay their way like adults.

Our plan is to get them to start a pension, start a savings account and then get them to work out a percentage of their income as board.

We will be putting this board money away in an account for them and they can then use it towards their first deposit when buying their own place. We won't be telling them this of course until the time comes that they need it.

Odd to comment on a thread for people who do.

I don't think there's any kind of rule or universal approach (see the eleventy billion other threads on this 😀), every family is different. I'd take into account whether you need to cover specific costs or you want to get your child used to contributing in a general way as a matter of principle

Other than food and maybe a bit of electricty my household bills wouldn't change if one of my children left home so to me it's a contribution in principle

I've found it helpful to look at disposable income. So taking aside living costs, any money put away for a house deposit or whatever. After that, what's left? At that point I don't see why the child should have more disposable income than the parent, if everyone is working full time.

In practice this means currently DS pays me a quarter of the monthly running costs of the home (£300 p/m). We each buy and cook our own food, as we eat different things anyway. We also do our own washing.

If he wasn't here I'd have a lodger, which would give me £650 a month so while I don't expect him to pay that on his current wage, I'm not working full time to have no money left for myself while he gets to spend all his wages on fun things! Luckily he agrees with me so we've not had any issues.

I don’t believe in charging because young adults will have so much expense further on in their lives. The sooner they can save up and buy their own place the better.
I also don’t believe in charging because I would be paying the same bills even if they weren’t there. The idea of benefiting because your children are there is abhorrent.

My eldest pays £200, my youngest £100 as she's just started a job and isn't full time hours yet.

I found it more cost effective to cook and do the laundry as a family I don’t understand this everyone do their own washing my machine would only ever have half loads 2 or 3 times a day !?

Both mine do their own washing, probably once or twice a week, and it's always a full load, plus their towels, bed linen etc. No half loads here ever!

They look after their own rooms, they help with some minimal housework - vacuuming, dusting, loading and emptying the dishwasher, doing the bins, cutting the grass etc. I cook most evenings, unless I'm out, and they either have what we are having if they like it, or if not, they make an omlette, or buy and cook their own food.

Both are saving up to grand a month, and the eldest is way better off than I am! I'm pleased though, because they are building up good nest-eggs for when they want to move out.

£150 to cover costs, plus he buys own food.

I found it more cost effective to cook and do the laundry as a family I don’t understand this everyone do their own washing my machine would only ever have half loads 2 or 3 times a day !?

TBH after 20 years of raising a family on my own I've better things to do than be the domestic skivvy for grown-ass men. But as it turns out we all leave our washing until we have a basket full. So it's a full load every couple of days, not a half load 3 times a day.

Likewise we all like to meal prep so each tend to do a big batch cook a couple of times a week and we then share with the others, it's not 3 people cooking a separate dinner every night. My sons are great cooks as a result, plus they are skilled in planning and shopping economically e.g. buying in season or in bulk.

Your kids must be stinky then with their lack of showers and clean clothes And how nice they spend all their time with you in communal areas watching tv with you and not using any electricity in their room, you must be so close.

This is always such a divisive topic on MN.

For me it comes down to two factors - Need and teaching values

If I need the money then I’d take it but if I don’t then I won’t

However I will take the money to save for said child to teach them the importance of various things. I’d not tell them until they were ready to move out and I handed them the cheque

Oh I'd ignore it if I were you @DragonFly98. Only a complete knob end would think that in this day and age with the cost of everything skyrocketing, that's its OK to call parents 'abhorrent' for seeking a small contribution to the household from adults who are earning good money.

Completely tone deaf, or just a dick? Maybe both.