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Original poster

School fees and redundancy

107 replies

bettertimeshope · 06/11/2023 14:41

Please be kind, I am on the floor with worry and panic.

Our small business has gone into administration making a total of 4 people redundant. A combination of cost of living, covid and non-payment by customers has finally taken its toll.

DH is now out of work and I am working every hour on basic living wage to keep a room over our heads. He is currently looking for any work he can get

DD is in year 11 at an independent school. Bluntly we can no longer afford the fees; our tiny savings pot will go towards living costs. We have a meeting with the school owner tomorrow to discuss options but frankly fees are bottom of our priorities even with cutting everything else back to the bare bone.

Am wondering if anyone has any thoughts or advice on how to approach discussions regarding way forward with the school. The timing is horrendous; if it was any other school year I would just pull DD out but she is due to sit her mocks in 2 weeks and suffers from poor MH.

I just don't know how much leniency to expect from the school or what they will suggest.

OP posts:
trader21c · 06/11/2023 19:44

My daughters school offered a discretionary bursary to her friend who was in the same position - they really should be understanding it’s in no-one’s interest for her not to complete GCSEs do let us know how you get on - thinking of you

Bobbybobbins · 06/11/2023 19:52

Obviously no idea if they have anything available but if there are any jobs going at the school that your DH could do in return for fees or for a fee reduction?

whizzbangpopsplutter · 06/11/2023 19:58

OP, I would take the school's second email at face value - don't assume it means they don't want to help, especially in light of the tone of their first email. It's just that they don't know the ins and outs of your situation and your family's future. They don't know whether you have grandparents to help, or whether you might potentially have dreamed up another solution since your first email (e.g. downsizing, mortgage holiday, selling car etc). They don't know what your DH's professional position is and when he might reasonably expect to be in employment and earning again. I think they literally just want to know what position you think you're in, and what you're asking of them (payment plan, full fee assistance for the rest of the year, partial fee assistance till she finishes school...). You're probably panicking now because of everything else you're dealing with right now, but try to hold your nerve, and discuss it calmly with them. It does sound as if they want to work constructively with you.

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General education
SusieKin · 06/11/2023 20:11

Speak with the school as they are likely to offer some means tested support for situations like this.

Payrisen · 06/11/2023 20:15

I agree with PP. School are not likely to come out and say 100% bursary if you are thinking "we could scrape together 50% of the fees with grandparent help". They would screw themselves out of 50% of the fees.

They will want to know what you can do, before they lay their offer on the table.

FiveCows · 06/11/2023 20:18

whizzbangpopsplutter · 06/11/2023 19:58

OP, I would take the school's second email at face value - don't assume it means they don't want to help, especially in light of the tone of their first email. It's just that they don't know the ins and outs of your situation and your family's future. They don't know whether you have grandparents to help, or whether you might potentially have dreamed up another solution since your first email (e.g. downsizing, mortgage holiday, selling car etc). They don't know what your DH's professional position is and when he might reasonably expect to be in employment and earning again. I think they literally just want to know what position you think you're in, and what you're asking of them (payment plan, full fee assistance for the rest of the year, partial fee assistance till she finishes school...). You're probably panicking now because of everything else you're dealing with right now, but try to hold your nerve, and discuss it calmly with them. It does sound as if they want to work constructively with you.

I totally agree with this. You need to tell them your position. It does sound like they need to help, but they want you to tell them exactly the position you are in and what you can and can’t manage.

Comefromaway · 06/11/2023 20:20

I hope the school will be sympathetic.

I know this is no help now but it might help others. When we decided to send our children to private school we made sure that we had a full two years worth of fees saved in an ISA for precisely this reason.

(we ended up moving dd in year 9 for other reasons though. )

Turmerictolly · 06/11/2023 20:20

Start looking for other schools now as deadlines for sixth form entry may be coming up.

mylittleprince · 06/11/2023 20:23

I think the school will work with you to do a payment plan for year 11, they will understand it's in nobodies best interests for her to change schools now. But I would be looking into other options for sixth form asap.

Supermarkets round here are all advertising for seasonal vacancies. He needs to be applying for jobs of any description to bring money in.

WGACA · 06/11/2023 20:28

If she’s likely to get good GCSE results then it’s in the school’s interest to keep her as good results look better for them for recruitment etc. If you’ve always paid on time over the years that will hopefully go in your favour too when you’re trying to come to an arrangement.

I love that some posters think that you’ll only pay until May when she leaves to sit exams. In Year 11 and Year 13 you pay until August even though they’re barely there in the summer term.

Morechocmorechoc · 06/11/2023 20:28

If they were going to fund her for 6th form I suggest you offer to pay this year's fees over the 3 years rather than 1.

Onceuponaheatache · 06/11/2023 20:29

I would work on roughly what you could afford to pay them if you both have jobs, even if both on minimum wage.

It may be that you need to propose that they payments are spread over the next 2-3 years but if you go with a business plan type approach they will hopefully see you aren't out to shaft them and work with you.

ThornInMySide84 · 06/11/2023 20:30

If you own your home I would expect them to ask you to release equity as a first stop.

Original poster
bettertimeshope · 06/11/2023 20:32

Bobbybobbins · 06/11/2023 19:52

Obviously no idea if they have anything available but if there are any jobs going at the school that your DH could do in return for fees or for a fee reduction?

This did cross my mind. Our priority is earning money to cover household bills but DH is quite handy and could easily do handyman jobs.
It would depend on making it work timing wise.

OP posts:
StiffyByngsDogBartholomew · 06/11/2023 20:49

bettertimeshope · 06/11/2023 19:31

We emailed the bursar as soon as we knew what was happening.

Worryingly the initial response was "we're here to help"; followed on Friday by a "we need to know what your proposal is". We were very clear in our first email that we were literally penniless and for the foreseeable there was no money for fees.

So quite frankly our proposal as things stand is sweet FA!

Show quote history

I don't think there is much point in going to the bursar at this point, you are far more likely to make headway speaking either to the Head or to the Head of Drama. How much is the 6th form drama scholarship worth ?
make an appointment to speak to someone with the power to do something, bursars usually are just thinking with the ££££s

Needmoresleep · 06/11/2023 20:56

I completely disagree. Yes burgers think about money but they weild power.

You want to build a constructive relationship, not go behind their back.

Also don't over promise. If you ate penniless tell them. It is a better starting point for negotiation.

GrassWillBeGreener · 06/11/2023 21:04

I agree with others that, alongside open and honest discussions with the bursar, you should approach any of the educational charities that seem remotely relevant as many of them prioritise (or only assist) children in this kind of situation. I'm sure I've read descriptions "we can help students in exam years to finish their course" or words to that effect. Let the bursar know you're looking at these, they may be able to advice / recommend / arrange school recommendations or reports if appropriate.

I hope things start to fall into place for you all soon so that you gain an idea of how you'll hold it together for the next 6-12 months until you start getting back on your feet. Best wishes.

androidnotapple · 06/11/2023 21:14

I would hope that the school would want to keep her til GCSEs and might be happy for you to pay the fees for the next two terms over a longer period of time.

Topofthemountain · 06/11/2023 21:16

I am sorry that your family are going through this and I hope that things soon take a turn for the better.

Do a full budget summary for your meeting, you need to show where every penny coming in goes out. Note everything that you have done or considered to do in order to raise the fees. This is more to give you clarity during any meetings.

All the best, she sounds a good student, they will hopefully do all that they can to keep her, even if you are paying a mere token amount at first.

Original poster
bettertimeshope · 06/11/2023 21:20

We have kept in contact with the Bursar but it is the owner of the school we are meeting with tomorrow. He is very much involved in the day to day running of the school and I would imagine will be the "heart" of any decision making

I'm not sure if the bursar will be joining us; I feel it unlikely..

OP posts:
Tarantella6 · 06/11/2023 21:22

I used to audit private schools and in this situation they would all allow you to pay over a longer period. One family had multiple daughters and they were scheduled to pay until the youngest was about 20!

As you say, the place isn't going to be filled. There's nothing to gain for the school to kick her out. It's whether they want to grant a bursary or similar or just play the long game and hope your circumstances improve.

Runningonjammiedodgers · 06/11/2023 21:22

Hoping it goes well OP

Original poster
bettertimeshope · 06/11/2023 21:24

Tarantella6 · 06/11/2023 21:22

I used to audit private schools and in this situation they would all allow you to pay over a longer period. One family had multiple daughters and they were scheduled to pay until the youngest was about 20!

As you say, the place isn't going to be filled. There's nothing to gain for the school to kick her out. It's whether they want to grant a bursary or similar or just play the long game and hope your circumstances improve.

Thank you. This gives me a little hope

OP posts:
ladybee2 · 06/11/2023 21:25

All of the very best OP. If private school has a charitable status, then this sort of situation is exactly what they should be using it for. I'm sure that you'll find them accommodating
X

Zigzag24 · 06/11/2023 21:42

Sorry to hear what has happened to your family. I know that my in-laws send their youngest to the local private school and they have previously had access to funding when they were on what is probably considered a very low income (relative to what I imagine most parents of pupils earn). They were at one point claiming benefits/UC and they managed to keep my BIL in the school.

I’m assuming no personal savings that you can put towards this? Any equity in the house you could access? Any possibility of a 0% credit card to cover other expenses that would leave some cash free for school fees?