School fees and redundancy

[bettertimeshope]

Please be kind, I am on the floor with worry and panic.

Our small business has gone into administration making a total of 4 people redundant. A combination of cost of living, covid and non-payment by customers has finally taken its toll.

DH is now out of work and I am working every hour on basic living wage to keep a room over our heads. He is currently looking for any work he can get

DD is in year 11 at an independent school. Bluntly we can no longer afford the fees; our tiny savings pot will go towards living costs. We have a meeting with the school owner tomorrow to discuss options but frankly fees are bottom of our priorities even with cutting everything else back to the bare bone.

Am wondering if anyone has any thoughts or advice on how to approach discussions regarding way forward with the school. The timing is horrendous; if it was any other school year I would just pull DD out but she is due to sit her mocks in 2 weeks and suffers from poor MH.

I just don't know how much leniency to expect from the school or what they will suggest.

I think you may be surprised how often this
happens in independent schools and in my experience the schools are usually very helpful. I can’t really machine that they will drop fees but they will usually extend the payment period significantly.

Could you or DH work at the school to get reduced fees? Long shot, but worth asking

Can either of you offer tutoring to students? That can be very lucrative, if you have relevant degrees? Not necessarily students at DD school, any students.

Can you take some money out of your house?

Can you sell your house and downsize?

Unfortunately I really don't know if this is possible, but is there any chance you can owe the school over the next X many months? So pay less over a longer period of time?

Ask the school about bursaries and grants.
My parents went through a similar situation. They were threatened with court for months but I just kept going to school. They paid it back eventually…! I knew nothing about it at the time.

This is such a shitty situation OP. I have no experience or knowledge as how a private school works ,but surely allowing your child to stay for the remainder of year 11 isn’t actually going to cost the school anything! The school will not be able to replace her so the school will not recover the fees if your child leaves .
The cost to your child is far greater . I really hope you get this sorted.

Get DH to register with a couple of recruitment agencies; they can very probably find him a temp position - warehouse work etc - whilst he is looking for something more permanent.

Have you spoken to the school? You must be honest with them as soon as possible. There may be a bursary or considering the fact that your DC is in yr 11 they may be prepared to offer you some leeway.

If you have an Amazon distribution.centre that might be worth a try, my brother worked in one as a temp in the run up to Christmas and earned loads, it was a good hourly rate (4 10 hour shifts a week) then overtime which was up to 2x hourly rate depending on how many hours he did.
He did a LOT of steps but had no time or energy to do anything out of work so was quite minted

I'm sure school will be able to assist with fees to get your DD through her GCSEs as this is exactly why they have charitable status. I feel for you Op and really do hope you can find a way through this

These private schools are charities and hopefully you will be given a discretionary bursary. My brother’s stepchildren got full bursaries when their DF went to jail as they were both in their GCSE years and their DM a could not afford the fees.

Turn2Us has a grant finder that lists charitable trusts that help with school fees in situations like this - usually to enable a child to stay for the remainder of year 11 or 13 only - worth filling it in as some are local in remit but Thornton-Smith and Plevins Trust might be worth a look - and there are others. The school may know of some too. They might also agree to a longer payment plan if you've always paid on the dot up til now.

There must be a contingency built into the schools admissions policy as this can't be a rare incident.
Is your husband or either grandfather a Freemason? They have educational funds available iirc.
Try not to panic.
I am positive the school will be able to give you some options at the meeting particularly as this is a year 11 student.

Op
I wasn't at a private school ,just a bog standard one ,
But things happened in my life that meant I had to move area ,school and family in year 11...I had to completely start afresh in a whole new area,
The new school couldn't fit me in at my chosen GCSEs subjects so I had to take two new ones ...so I did sit the exams and some I totally failed and some I did very well in.
The following year I went to college and retook the failed ones ,year after that I went to uni .
I survived,I made a success of things ,I just got on with it ,I didn't have a choice not to .
Your dd will be fine

Royal Mail have Christmas jobs going which might be worth a look

The school I work at would let her stay and would arrange for you to pay over a longer y term even after she's left.

Keep your chin up.

Our school would find a way to help in these circumstances, I know someone who was in similar circumstances. I hope your meeting goes well.

With respect @Pugdays that's not the same as moving from private to state.

OP, please make an appt asap to speak up the school bursar, explain your situation and ask for financial help/understanding. Schools have discretionary funds which can be used to support students/parents whose circumstances change suddenly & dramatically, and from what you've said your daughter may well be able to finish her schooling up to A levels.

Does your husband (or you) have a professional governing body like the Law Society? There may be a benevolent fund for these sort of situations.

I'd be encouraging DH to do nights in a warehouse or suchlike, you work by day, him by night. It'll be a shit year but if you prove to the school that you're trying your best they might meet you half way.

I understood that schools normally do their best to help a child stay "to the next stage". I remember a family of three who were at school with my DC. Divorce and bankruptcy. The youngest switched to state almost immediately, the next one up stayed a year, and the eldest stayed almost 2. All till the next stage. The mother was very grateful to the school.

When negotiating remember that it costs them nothing to keep your child. They already have the desk and the teachers. They are not going to fill the place mid Yr 11. Speak to the grandparents and be ready to make an offer. From their perspective anything is better than nothing. And they won't want the class disrupted by seeing one of their friends leave suddenly.

Am sat here quietly with a cuppa going through all your responses; I am beyond grateful.

I can't think straight to respond individually but to answer a few points.

DH is indeed looking at temp warehouse jobs as a stop gap. Thankfully he is fit and healthy; he will consider any work at all to bring money in.

Not a member of any professional bodies

We both have degrees but you wouldn't want either tutoring!

I have said to DH he needs to approach his parents. DD is their only grandchild in left education and they can definitely afford to help. The relationship is already crap, nothing to lose by asking, especially if he positions it that they are helping DD, not him.

I will ask school about bursaries/hardship funds.

House definately not re mortgageable but will investigate changing the term etc

A few people have made a good point about it really not really being any skin off school's nose if she stays. Her place wouldn't be filled at this stage.

I just hope that empathy and compassion prevails; I totally get that the school is a business but there is nothing to be gained by risking a students future to make a point

We emailed the bursar as soon as we knew what was happening.

Worryingly the initial response was "we're here to help"; followed on Friday by a "we need to know what your proposal is". We were very clear in our first email that we were literally penniless and for the foreseeable there was no money for fees.

So quite frankly our proposal as things stand is sweet FA!

I’m sorry to hear this OP it’s utterly rubbish and must feel so stressful right now. You’ve probably thought of this but is there no way of borrowing the money, even getting a loan? I know it’s just shifting the issue but if the school won’t budge then maybe that. Others have made more helpful comments. Tell DH to look at Royal Mail jobs, abundant at this time of year, they’re often well paid, better hours and better paid than factories and warehouses though that’s not the worst idea either.