NHS-Just had operation. Porter said this!!!!!

[IsAnybodyListening]

Recently had complex surgery following an accident, and I have been home a few days now. The more I think about this, the angrier I get. As not to drip feed this was basically the situation.

My consultant and surgeons were utterly fantastic with me. My last surgery was over 10yrs ago, unfortunately there were complications plus I developed an infection post surgery and became extremely ill. Due to this, they were aware how anxious I was to be going under anesthesia again and were incredibly understanding.

Whilst on the ward. I was nil by mouth. Surgery was postponed 3 times due to life and death situations which is completely understandable, however during this time I hadn't ate in 38hrs which I was OK with, however the first issue were Nurses kept refusing to give me fluid. They weren't listening to me that surgery was delayed and that I could have water up until a few hrs before going into theatre. By sheer luck the anesthetist happened to pop into my room for me to sign consent forms whilst I was begging for a drink and told the nurse to give me fluid.

By this point, I'm hungry, exhausted, unable to sleep as in pain and very thirsty and drained, also scared of pending surgery and when it might happen.

The porter came to wheel me to theatre. Just before going into the operating room she is making idle chit chat, and the surgeon comes out to see me and help wheel me in. The porter obviously doesn't know what I've been through, my history or anything about me, and for some bizarre reason declares in the most jovial tone ' Just remember when they knock you out, not to go to heaven when you're under'!!!!!!

The surgeon heard, and fair play to him he looked bloody furious with this comment.

Anyhow, I had surgery, it should have been 2hrs but was closer to 6hrs. Now I am home and recovering, I can't stop thinking about what she said RIGHT before I had a massive operation. Who says something so stupid?

Do I assume the surgeon would have raised it as he definitely heard, or should I go down the formal complaint route? It keeps playing over in my mind, that and my surgery didn't actually go as expected and involved more surgeons and hours than initially expected and since I woke up, I can't stop thinking about what she said. Death IS a risk with surgery. Why would a health care professional say something so utterly careless like that in such a serious situation?

If you managed to read all that, thanks. Not sure if this should be in AIBU or is it a more WWYD question?

@Nomnomnom66 Life and death are also trivial. So what? I wonder how the porter would feel if the OP had died... make a silly comment about it? It's okay to be silly, if the other person is in a similar situation, but it's not okay for a porter to add more distress to patients already under heavy stress.

And to whoever said the porter is not a healthcare professional.., 🙄 She works in a healthcare environment and is in close contact with patients, and precisely because she's not a healthcare professional she is not allowed to make silly comments to or about patients in any circumstances and she has stepped over the line by doing so when OP was about to have GA and op.

I wouldn’t complain about that- but I would about the no fluids and the nurses not being informed.
That could totally make surgery worse and recovery and is the most dangerous aspect of your lack of care.

@IsAnybodyListening By the way, I think you're lucky to remember what the porter said. When I had a GA, I couldn't and still can't remember anything that happened in the months before and after the operation! Terrifying!! I've never had another GA and hope I never need it!

I was just about to say this

Essentially your anger is misdirected

Do you really think the intention was to offend you ?

its obvious she was trying to keep things light hearted that that works for the majority of patients. Ofc she is unlikely to know your history.

We don’t appreciate the NHS enough. Pick your battles, this one is not worth it.

Imagine the sheer amount of good this Porter has done.

A healthcare system that employs totally uneducated staff for hospital work, consider me not surprised.

I would email or phone Pals and let them know. So inappropriate on so many levels. Contacting them would hopefully avoid this happening to someone else.

What an odd thing to say.

I remember years ago now after about a week of giving birth, being admitted to hospital and a serious lack of sleep I was a bit curt with my husband about something in front of a midwife. She told me to 'pull myself together'. I was seriously pissed off at that comment and should have complained. Some people are just a bit stupid really.

Totally agree with this

Sorry to add, I think this porter probably meant well. They are not paid much and was just trying to chat and maybe was a bit clumsy. Just leave it be and focus your energy on recovery.

I think your past history is a red flag. Most patients are a little nervous before a major op or even a minor op when GA is involved - and some people would not be bought into the concept of a heaven and be thinking about that before surgery. I don't think the comment was appropriate on any level.
But this is not a major deal - just drop and email to Pals about this comment and the water issue to hopefully improve things for other patients going forward.
Its not about getting them in trouble its a quick word with the person and an educational thing for the nurses.

Oh FGS lighten up @IsAnybodyListening

It wasn't the best thing to say to you but most people would laugh it off and forgive the person for saying something a bit daft.

You have had a serious sense of humour fail and come over as a bit precious.

You seem also to be missing the point that 'going to heaven' was meant to be reassuring as that outcome was very unlikely.

And you're not doing your recovery from such a major operation by getting worked up and posting on social media.

As a nurse I would want to know. We can’t do anything about it if we don’t know.

I’m sorry that you had such a difficult time.

Its not about getting them in trouble its a quick word with the person and an educational thing for the nurses.

There is no such thing as a 'quick word' with complaints against the NHS.

It has to be documented, in writing, they seek witnesses (poor surgeon busy saving lives doesn't want to be bothered with this) and the complaint goes to a committee.

If you think 'someone' will drag the porter to one side and have a word, you don't know how the system works.

The Op.wss being g wheeled in for a major op.under General.anaesthetic ,a complication of which can result in death ( albeit rarely)
Would you laughing and Joking at such a time ?
I imagine humour was the very last thing in her mind 🙄

A complaint could be made to the company that employs the Porter though
Asking for a bit of General awareness about what's appropriate and what's not .

I wouldn't complain.

Tactless yes but in the grand scheme of things... it's nothing to me.

Now the nurses not listening to you.... that needs reporting. And I work for health care.

@x2boys I've had 3 GAs in my life. I understand the risks and emotions.
My family (parents, partner ) have had very major surgery, lasting hours.

I know that staff try to keep it light and take your mind off things and often make quips.

This wasn't the best 'joke' but it's not worth mulling over days later and considering complaining, formally.

The more serious issue was her risk of dehydration which could actually cause death!

@x2boys And how to you suppose she finds out who the porter is employed by, who to contact, and how to prove it was said? Does she even know the porter's name?

The porter needs to know to never make that comment again

So as opposed to complaining just raise it as an issue that needs to be addressed immediately

I'm presuming he would have got short shrift from the surgeon/ consultant at the very least

It's probably something his family say or other older porters have passed down

It sounds very old fashioned that's all

But no definitely not appropriate

However you did hold on in there and came out alive as it were

So who knows their words might have subconsciously saved your life

You just never know

I think the OP has got a hard time on this thread.

It doesn't matter that the porter is on minimum wage doing a hard job, that same porter is one of the moving parts of a complex organisation and it is the responsibility of those in charge of complex organisations to ensure that all those parts work well and are properly trained to ensure professionalism and dignity. When one part fails it is easier for another to go awry and then one has a mess. Organisations are as strong as their weakest link and it is an excuse based culture that has got the NHS in the mess it is in today. The porter shoukd not have made the comment. The issue may have more to do with structural failings in their management than with the individual. However those failings cannot be put right unless there is feedback.

The porter had a bigger impact on the op than the unprofessionalism and incompetence of the nurse(s) who failed to keep the op hydrated because the comment was made when the op felt most vulnerable. Surely there had to be some cognizance of vulnerability in the super fab NHS, stuffed full of highly professional postgraduate trained nurses. Or might the person not providing hydration have been an HCA, who the op assumed was a nurse due to lack of transparency. Again likely to be an issue of structural incompetence in relation to management and operational delivery of a service unfit for purpose.

I think the OP should write a very polite letter addressed to her surgeon and copied to the ceo noting her disappointment and reflecting on what could have been better rather than a formal complaint with all guns blazing.

The NHS is in the mess it is due to decades of a grateful public sucking up sub-optimal standards. We have the NHS we deserve at present.

Vive la revolution.

She doesn't need to.know the Porters name ,the hospital.I worked at used a company called mediclean, for Porter and domestic staff ,the company name was on all.there uniforms ,switch board would know Which company it was
A general.letter of concern ,could be sent regarding.in appropriate language being used

You have had a traumatic experience with, what sounds like, a rather nasty accident followed by major surgery and I hope your recovery continues.

Personally I wouldn’t put in a complaint about a rather misjudged statement from someone who most likely was trying to make you relaxed, even though it was a very daft thing to say.

Also, if a surgeon was furious the chances are he made his displeasure well known!

When I was lying in a bed in A&E with a ruptured ectopic pregnancy awaiting transfer to theatre for emergency surgery two nurses, one of which had been involved in taking care of me, so knew why I was there, stood at the end of the cubicle discussing the recently announced pregnancy of one of them, congratulations and hugs, and the usual associated chatter. It was incredibly insensitive and still bothers me now many years later. That said, I didn't complain as I didn't properly remember it until I processed everything much later and I had enough to worry about by then.