How do you be mentally strong when diagnosed with something? (Not cancer or life-limiting)

[Scaredycat23]

I was diagnosed with a condition 3 months ago and I'm living in almost pure panic and fear with it. Rather than it becoming normal, its actually occurring to me every ten minutes that I have it, as if for the first time. So it's that fresh panic and realisation constantly. How on earth do I stop this happening? I've been prescribed anti-depressants- do you think this will stop the anxiety? Hopefully it is a condition that should get better, but might not. I'm also aware that there are way worse things that happen to people, and really I need to suck it up. Any advice please? I'm driving myself mad and everyone else is bored of me.

Sorry for your diagnosis, sending you every good wish.

I don't know whether this will help...2 and a half years ago I was diagnosed with a serious illness from which I could have died and which needed operations and gruelling treatments with significant side-effects. I didn't think I was strong at all. I just had to get up every day and get dressed to go to the treatment, and shower (one side effect was chronic diarrhoea), go to the pharmacy, and find something to feed myself when I was hungry, and do the basics like laundry, taking the bin out, a bit of WhatsApp (didn't tell many people I was ill). Then, if I had the energy, watch or listen to a bit of gentle TV (Friends, The Office U.S.) Couldn't concentrate to read. That took all my energy and so I didn't have much time to think about being strong. I just didn't have a choice but to get up and try to get on.

What helped was that the medical treatment I received was topnotch and every person I came into contact with from receptionists to cleaners to pharmacists to ambulance drivers was patient and kind and unfazed, the real "heroes" of our society.

You could speak to your GP about something to help your anxiousness and or seek counselling to help you process the diagnosis. Take care.

Also, avoid Googling.

Sometimes leaning into the terrible feelings, rather than using them away can help. It can be easier to do it with a therapist if that’s a possibility for you.

I’m sorry you’re dealing with this.

My father was diagnosed with mnd in feb 2013, and I recollect crying even when at work the tears would dribble down my cheeks , it was a death sense with immense pain. I'd wake up panicked and call my mother at 5am to ask how my father was , I lost a lot of weight and had diahorrea through sheer stress of the situation. After a month of this, I start to take st johns work, the tincture version by A Vogel hypercium. I also was going through a divorce at the time, miscarried a baby and had just had my own cancer scare. The SJW was the only thing that saw me through, I stopped crying , I became forcussed , and dealt with the divorce , my father's illness, his passing after 1 Yr and its the only thing that kept me in control of everything. I hope you will find your own way xx

That's an awful situation to be in. Just try to take each day as it comes. I was very ill with long covid, which lasted 3 months and it got me down. It's natural.
On good days try to get some fresh air, even ten minutes in the garden.
The trouble with illness is that you don't know how long it will last. But if it's not life limiting, then tell yourself that things will improve in time.
Advice, but not easy to follow. Wishing you all the best.

When did you start the antidepressants? Hopefully they will kick in soon and take the edge off.
I have horrible digestive issues which has taken over my life and the quality of it. My neuro-gastroenterologist has prescribed me antidpressants too, she believes that they will kind of ‘numb’ the anxiety I have over everything and even if I never get better the anti d’s should help me live a better quality of life.
I hope they start to work for you soon, good luck.

1. Find a doctor (or a team of doctors if needed) that you trust and that are experts in your condition. Do not Google about the condition. Once you have a doctor you trust, listen to them and know that you are being taken care of.
2. Tackle aspects of your health that you can control. Diet, exercise/movement, sleep and meditation. All of this will help calm you down, help you feel better and will improve overall health.
3. Do whatever gives you joy, watch a funny tv show, read lighthearted books, travel, see friends.
4. You will feel normal again. I have been where you are now and I did not think that I would ever feel normal again. A few years on and I do. I rarely think about the condition. Finding a doctor that I trust and knowing that they are taking care of me so I don't have to worry was a big part of that. Anxiety medication can help too.

In December 2020 I suddenly developed supraventricular tachycardia, and a few weeks later had a cardiac arrest. I had 2 emergency heart procedures to save my life, which triggered POTS and ultimately I was diagnosed with hypermobile EDS. I'm now an ambulatory wheelchair user.

I spent the first 2 years moping around feeling sorry for myself, but something about my mindset changed in January this year. I accepted I'll probably never do front line nursing again and changed careers. I would say my life is pretty good!

Just remember, although your life may look different now, it isn't over by any means ❤️

When I was in a cycle of panic and felt a constant sense of impending doom for no reason I took anti depressants. I know they say it takes weeks to work but after 3 days they started to help massively. Then over the next couple of months they continued working better and better and now I have no anxiety at all. The first three days of taking them made my anxiety worse but it was worth it once they settled. I'm sorry for your diagnoses, sometimes it's one thing that sets off underlying anxiety and then you get in a cycle of panicking about panicking. It's awful and I hope it improves soon for you x

Thank you all for your lovely replies. I'm going reply tomorrow if that's OK? I really appreciate your help. I haven't started the tablets yet as I'm too anxious 🙃.

I was so anxious I put it off for 5 weeks, I wish I had of started them sooner! I understand how you feel though, I hope you manage to take the first step and start your medicine xx

I don't know exactly, I just keep plodding on. It probably helps that I'm a pessimist anyway 😀 I try not to think too much about the future and just deal with the here and now and take what control I can.

Exactly this.

@DominiqueBernard

Thank you, and I'm sorry you went through all that. I get that you just had to get through each day and not decide to adopt a 'strong attitude '. I hope you're doing OK now. I am also completely with you on not googling- which obviously I did!

@Pumpy001 I'm so sorry about your dad, I know of a few people who had the same condition. I had completely forgotten about St John's Wart. How long do you think it took to work? Are there any side effects?

@Orchidgarden and @Flowersinthewateringcan thank you. I think they will certainly block it out. I've taken them before and had something quite scary happen whilst driving and I didn't even blink, my body didn't even react to the stress. Crazy really.

@pepperminticecream thank you. I'm really trying to do number 2, but the days get away from me. Will keep at it. Number 4 fills me with hope!

@RMNofTikTok that sounds absolutely terrifying and is way more than I am going through. I like your philosophy. Thank you.

@fourlambbhunas thank you!!! I know you are right! How did you cope with those first days? What medication is it? Do you feel numb? I've taken them years ago and remember they made me feel better very quickly but I can't remember what I actually felt like.

@Scaredycat23 Please do not take St John's Wort without consulting a medical Dr or pharmacist as it can interact with other medications.

I'm sorry to read this and I'm in a similar situation. I'm taking each day as it comes and seeing the "wins" - what I manage to do in a day is a win (sadly not as much as before) and similarly making sure I'm only aiming to do one thing a day, not overloading myself and then "failing " and feeling worse.

@TookTheBook sorry you're going through it too. Some days the things I can't do seems worse than the day before and that freaks me out. I also get more pain and freak out that it's getting worse. I've completely lost all perspective! I'm returning to work for the first time which will probably highlight more difficulties but may also stop me being so self-obsessed.

You are right - returning to work might take your mind off it and give you something else to focus on! Don't overwhelm yourself, definitely aim for the bare minimum when you first return, take it easy.

Hi Scaredycat thank you. It took 2 weeks to kick in ,I had only 18 drops in shallow water and kept it up for 1 yr. My best mate who is 10 yrs senior has been on iy for 8 yrs and as far as we both know no side effects . Im not into otc medicines and so SJW is my chosen path. I have tried other brands by the one I suggest in liquid form is by far the best

I don't understand worrying constantly about something you can manage or may be very successfully treated & can't make go away otherwise.

I don't understand worrying constantly about something you can manage or may be very successfully treated & can't make go away otherwise

It's not rational, but it has stopped my life in it's tracks, in that I haven't been able to walk, drive, work, or do much. It's been ridiculously painful. I'm very fearful that this could be as good as it gets, or it could even get worse. I think my brain just can't process it.

Scaredycat I also feel the same atm but trying to brave the world one step at a time.
Re SJW I would listen to a poster that said it could interfere with your medication , I have never been on any type of medication so far so I was fine with it. Its known to tamper with the contraceptive pill for instance

Is it an autoimmune condition like Psoriatic or Rheumatoid Arthritis?

Uncontrolled inflammation can affect emotions and mood entirely separately to actual depression or the toll that being in pain and lack of sleep from pain takes on a person. In that situation, getting a handle on the inflammation can completely change somebody's emotional state from almost paralysis and obsessing about it to 'That hurts. Oh well, what's for tea?'

Uncontrolled inflammation can affect emotions and mood entirely separately to actual depression or the toll that being in pain and lack of sleep from pain takes on a person

This is really interesting as my first gp wouldn't prescribe ADs as he said feeling low was part of the illness.

I haven't started the tablets so might look at SJW instead for starters (but I really want the ADs ti make it all go away)