Simple meal suggestions please

[Lioninatree]

I have a real hard time with food as I wasn’t fed well as a child. I was neglected and lived on dry cereal, sweets and beige foods when I was occasionally fed dinner. I didn’t have a fruit or vegetable until my 20s. As a result I’m now very picky and have issues with certain food, my mood surrounding food changes daily. I know it’s hard for my partner, he tries his best to introduce a mixture of food and he is supportive when I change my mind or I don’t want to eat at all. However I’m starting to feel guilty for him as he’d love to go to restaurants but it’s impossible for me. He’s suggested cooking me a brand new meal once a week for me to try with no pressure, but the thought of this terrifies me. I don’t want to upset him and refuse so I’d like to give it a go.
Could anyone share any meals that may suit me, starting small and bland before anything fancy with an acquired taste.
these days I can manage: pizza, all meats whether breaded or plain, pasta but only with cheese, and chips mixed with baked beans. I haven’t ventured out of this for at least 5 years. For breakfast I have pastries, I don’t eat lunch, if I get hungry I snack on chocolate or biscuits.
any suggestions would be appreciated.

What about a baked potato maybe with just cheese or baked beans and cheese? You already eat cheese and beans so hopefully that would be a small step in the right direction.

Can you try pasta with tomato sauce and cheese?

You essentially need graded exposure building up really slowly and keep repeating the new meals until they become familiar. Don't rush it. Add one or two new things to a meal rather than a whole new meal. It will hopefully make it less intimidating.

It won't be easy but it's great that you want to try it. Take your time and be kind to yourself. You survived a hell of a childhood so be proud of yourself for even thinking of trying new foods.

What about base meals that you try different vegetables to?

eg
cheesey pasta so one time try peas, the next try broccoli. Keep the vegetables on the side.

If pizza is ok, could you try a savory tart by spreading pizza sauce on ready-rolled puff pastry and topping it with something else you like and a bit of cheese? Then expand the toppings as you see fit

Sliced potato, slices of bacon in a tray with chopped onion and a small amount of chicken stock for moisture. Then cheese melted on top if you wish.

What about gnocchi with cheese? Similar to pasta but not quite the same.

Chips with cheese rather than beans. Small variations might be the place to start.

A chicken Parma or parmigiana is something most Italian restaurants offer - breaded chicken breasts topped with tomato and mozzarella like a pizza.

Omelette? Try it plain then add something in? Could try with chips and cheese if you like those.
I have 2 dc with afrid. The dietitian suggested writing a list (short to start then add as time goes along) of foods they'd like to try (not meals just individual items) and try one several times over a week. Don't try more than one item and try it a few times before you give in. Dc1 did really well with this and probably added 10 items in 6 months which then could be added together eg tomatoes could be mixed with pasta. It was all about the psychological aspect of it too so no pressure and move on if that food is no good. Don't try a full new meal until you've tried the individual items and generally taking things slowly and at their own pace.
You could ask your gp about a dietitian referral. Dc1 and 2 have both been in children's services and dc1 now adult services have had some great support.

Scramble eggs on toast, add cheese if that makes it easier, then you could try mushrooms, spring onions or smoked salmon when you’re feeling a bit braver

Pasta with pesto, in fact pesto is lovely on a baked potato too.

Corned beef hash, unfashionable nowadays but so tasty and could could add beans if it makes it more familiar

If you like meat, would you be able to eat steak and chips. Just that, no sauce required?

Because you could definitely get that in a restaurant.

What about if you try doing the cooking, my friend was similar and I started teaching her to cook and she then started to try bits, she always had her safe food

If you like meat, pasta and the flavours of pizza you might like pasta bolognese. Maybe the first time you try it have the sauce separate and dip your pasta in.

can you eat ketchup on chips? or were you ever given baked beans or tinned spaghetti? if so, you could work up from a tomato based pasta sauce which is the basis of so many dishes. Try good quality chopped tinned tomatoes. Finely chop an onion and fry until soft and sweet and translucent. Add the tomatoes with a splash of water or red wine to rinse out the can. Add a spoonful of sugar if you prefer sweeter sauces, and a tiny amount of oregano, garlic paste or granules and a bit of salt or veggie stock powder. Cook slowly for a long tim until it has gone dark red. Put a small spoonful onto pasta with grated cheese and see if you like it. if you do, have more. You can then progress to spag bol, chilli, arrabiata, puttanesca, lasagne etc all of which have a similar base.

Add one or two new things to a meal rather than a whole new meal. It will hopefully make it less intimidating.

Don't try a full new meal until you've tried the individual items and generally taking things slowly and at their own pace.

This* *is the way, OP.

If you like chips, try:
potato wedges
crispy roasted potatoes
sweet potato chips
roasted parsnips

Then you could also try roasted carrots.

If you like breaded meats, try a chicken kiev, or stick with a burger and add a condiment or sauce you haven’t tried - salsa, garlic mayo, BBQ sauce etc.

If you like pasta with cheese, try macaroni cheese. Or have different sauces ‘on the side’ - bolognese, tomato sauce, carbonara or white sauce- and just dip your pasta into them.

Try a different fruit in small slices - a slice of apple, one strawberry etc. Sweetcorn is usually an easy popular vegetable to start with. Then try peas etc.

If you can expand your repertoire to be ‘pub food’ friendly to some classic dishes that are served lots of places you’ll soon be able to eat out. Start small and don’t stress. Good luck!

Before embarking on this yourself, what mental health support have you had so far? I'd speak to your GP and ideally a dietician that specialises in food difficulties to get ideas/techniques and specialist support. CBT, hypnotherapy, acupuncture or other relaxation support might also be beneficial.

A pub type dish that you might be able to work towards might be gammon steak and chips. you could even have it with beans in lots of places.

or breaded chicken with chips is often an option.

It strikes me that there are two issues that you can separate: trying to increase the number of foods you feel comfortable saying and finding ways to eat in restaurants with your partner.

With the list of foods you’ve given, it seems possible for you to play to your strengths and select some restaurants where you can order safe foods without feeling the need to try anything new.

If restaurants have been a source of anxiety for you, then trying to separate out the need to eat different foods from the learning to be comfortable eating in a restaurant may help. Start small. Wetherspoons on a quiet Tuesday lunchtime, knowing you can just leave if you need to, and ordering just ham and chips would be totally fine. Or just chips and beans if you like!

If this all goes well and you have a list of safe foods for restaurants, you may find that you are able to eat out with your partner even for special occasions in ‘nicer’ restaurants - you absolutely would not be the only person to order just chips in a steakhouse.

At home, you can try other things - getting more involved in prepping food, even if you don’t eat it. Trying things in tiny increments. But view this as a separate thing to attempting to eat out.

Vegetarian lasagne
Creamy fish pie
Creamy chicken and broccoli bake.
Shepherds pie
Salmon and pasta bake

Easy, not spicy, comfort food

Can you eat chips without beans on?

With restaurants, my MIL only eats plain food and she always orders a children’s meal. No one bats an eyelid (it’s quite normal for people with smaller appetites) and the food is generally meat/fish, potatoes and veg all served separately.

What about making small adjustments to your safe meals. Pasta and cheese, what about adding leek (very very mild vegetable). Then add maybe cubed bacon the following week etc. Take small steps.

Have you considered seeing a dietitian? They maybe able to offer more helpful advice.

My next suggestion is not anyway to be offensive but I recently read a baby lead weaning cook book. There were actually really good ideas about how to introduce foods, how to combine etc. (I actually use a few of the recipes for my work lunches).

yes this- and do look at ARFID.

And.... ❤to you OP.

Re the baby led weaning... I have a DS aged 14 who has difficulties with food (sensory issues) and I occasionally go back to my old toddler recipes when he is having some issues and take things back to very very plain before building up again. (he goes in phases)

Oh and if you don't already- please do make sure you are taking a vitamin tablet. at least to cover the basics.

On that front- I also with DS sometimes make him chocolate ice-ceam milkshakes using complan. To get calories into him but also the nutrients. can you add something like that to your diet to also just boost your nutrient intake?

Good luck OP.

I think you should separate expanding foods you eat with eating in restaurants.

So first of all...... could you go out to a café and have a pastry with your partner if that's something you eat for breakfast?

Could you find a restaurant that does breaded chicken, chips and beans and order that? Lots of people order off the children's menu so don't worry about that.

Build up to gammon and chips? That's a very common option in pubs.

I agree if you like pizza (bread, cheese, tomato sauce), meat and pasta then you could try pasta bolognese or macaroni cheese. Maybe build up to trying a lasagne (another common restaurant option which is meat, tomato, pasta and cheese.)

This is a favourite comfort meal in this house and fits the bill I think: fry an onion until soft, add a tin of beans and a tin of tomatoes, once it's bubbling take it off the heat and put in an oven proof dish. Cover in cheese, put under the grill until it's bubbly and browning. Serve with toast or whatever you like. Delicious, filling and cheap too!

I'm quite fussy but have improved loads over the years. I would suggest having your safe foods available but (as someone has suggested above) adding something to it.

Meals I like...

• ready rolled puff pastry (made into a rectangle with sides) with salmon in the middle. I've worked up to a little red pesto under the pasta, started with nothing, then a little smear, now I can manage a spoonful.
• fahjitas. We use an El Paso dinner kit. Started with separating a bit of chicken with no spice, then a tiny bit of spice, now I have the chicken the same as the rest of the family. You can then add the veg you like. I prefer carrots and beans (as they're more firm, I dislike veg that goes soft). My husband just does loads of carrots and beans and cooks them al dente for me! Then adds other veg everyone else eats. At the table it's all laid out and I just choose what I like but I'm not eating something obviously different.
• sausage and mash. I only had richmond sausages to start but now I eat all sorts (lincolnshire, cumberland etc). Mash is pretty bland and then we have the usual vegetables. I don't really like garden peas but I do like petit pois (they taste a bit sweeter to me). As above, I prefer my veg on the firmer side.

The key thing was working out what things i don't like... soft vegetables, mayo, food that goes soft when touching a sauce. This makes it much easier to navigate what I might like or what to remove to make it fit.

Good luck, it is definitely worth perservering if you can, even if it's just slow and steady. I eat out now and if you didn't eat with me regularly you wouldn't know how limited my choices are (I choose the exact same dishes at a chinese and have a small choice at an indian).