I’ve messed up

[Ghostfacephonecall]

I have used natural family planning as contraception for 3/4 years and it works well for me. I had unprotected sex last night. I thought I was in the clear but I have been so busy that more time has passed since my period than I thought. I’m right in the fertile window.

I have been frantically searching for solutions, the sexual health clinics are 25 and under. I’m 27. I don’t have a GP right now, that’s a whole other story. I don’t know what to do. I’m severely depressed right now which is making it harder to think straight. I am ND and for lots of reasons I don’t want a child. I had an abortion years ago and I can’t go through that again. I just need a handhold while I figure out what I can do. I have about 50 hours left to get my hands on the emergency contraceptive pill.

Levonorgestrel is £10 from boots

Do you have an overdraft or credit card? If so, use them and don't wait until the morning. You likely already know this but the MAP becomes left effective the longer you leave it (even within the timeframe of effectiveness.) Can a friend lend you the money? Or your boyfriend's friend(s)? This really is time-critical.

Do the pair of you really not have £20 between you?

Op if you definitely don't want kids why don't you get sterilised?

It baffles me how women can be so clueless about their own reproductive system. 2 days out of your cycle, come on now...

Well, she has clearly spent some time in bed.

Sorry OP, this feels like a convoluted begging thread.

I think sorting out a doctor has to be a priority for this reason alone.

Do they ask for ID at the under 25s clinics? They didn’t when I was young enough to use them, but back in the 20th century they rarely did for anything. If they don’t though, that’s your best option- just go there and lie about your age.

Might also be worth trying a walk-in centre. It will cost the NHS far less to give you a safe abortion now than get you through a later one or a pregnancy- it’s in their interest to help you and they will know that.

How? I was offered solutions and I looked into most of them and took the advise of the person who suggested the referral which I have done. I haven’t asked for money or continued to make excuses why I couldn’t do the suggestions.

Oh dear. Someone had sex, get your torches and start the witch hunt.

Well, really, OP. You absolutely definitely don't want to become pregnant, so you have unprotected sex, and then say you can't afford the MAP (even though a quick bit of Googling could tell you all you need to know, and the advice to 'lie about your age' is hardly akin to splitting the atom in terms of brain power, so you could perhaps have worked that out before people suggested it).

Sorry OP, this feels like a convoluted begging thread.

Its that time of year, they always increase in the lead up to Christmas. Hopefully no one has fallen for it.

Dear Lord, this is why I hate mumsnet sometimes. People are so out of touch on here about the realities of being poor that mentioning not having money is seen as trying to scam people.

Also if I was after money, do you not think it would’ve been the main thing in my OP? It was the detail I forgot to mention as the root of my problem.

Someone suggested an online NHS referral for a consultation which would make the MAP free. That is what I have done. Here is some proof if you do not believe me 😂

@Poppercorn that's one of the reasons why with using this method people have a very generous fertile window when they use condoms.

And I don't know what happened to the poster who got pregnant on day 6 of her cycle, but if we asked people who got pregnant while using condoms/taking the pill/whatever other contraception method, we'd find people who had managed it.

Tbh, I don't even use this method, because I can't be arsed tracking my cycle so closely (I did this while struggling to conceive my DS years ago, and I didn't enjoy it). But I couldn't watch the way people were piling in on judging the OP. She asked for help, and people leap to judgement. There aren't any 100% effective methods of contraception, and cycle tracking can be a perfectly sensible, cheap and safe option for contraception for many people; it requires effort and self-knowledge, but for some that is empowering. There's even a cycle tracking app that's been approved as a contraceptive by the FDA: Natural Cycles: Natural Birth Control | No Hormones or Side Effects

At the risk of being judgmental myself, I'm just baffled at some of the attitudes here. "Oh yeah, that vulnerable and worried woman who can't afford £30 for a MAP, you know what she needs? Judgement. Aha! I see she does something very slightly outside the boundaries of what I personally deem acceptable and correct. She's clearly thick, feckless and wrong. I must tell her so straight away. That will help her be a better person. What a good thing I did there."

Speak to a pharmacist or your GP asap.

Going forward have a proper conversation with a specialist about your contraceptive choices. The ones you are making right now are terrible.

There are non hormonal options out there.

Not being judgemental at all. I haven't commented on the OP's post, plenty have passed on useful information for her to action. I just commented on your potential misleading information - it read as though you are only fertile for two days of your cycle.

Glad you got it sorted. It may be worth considering your options in terms of contraception though as what about the next time your are overworked / ASD triggered / exhausted and you mess up your dates. It's just not worth the anguish.

Bizarrely, I'm speaking the absolute truth about the 2 day thing...but I should phrase it more accurately. There's only about 1-2 days in your cycle when your egg can be fertilised to make a pregnancy. The thing is, there's no way of knowing exactly when those two days are, and sperm can hang around (you don't have sex, and immediately get pregnant, the sperm have travelling to do first - they meet in your fallopian tubes rather than your uterus - hence why when you ttc you focus efforts just before ovulation - if you can see you've ovulated from a rise in basal body temperature, it's too late).
I know it sounds super unlikely how narrow the fertilisation window is given how much palava contraception is, but it's true.

Sorry if I made it sound as simple as day 13 and 14 don't have sex and you're golden. That's not what I mean. I'm saying cycle tracking (including symptom spotting, e.g. temp, cervical mucus and cervix height) with a good margin of error thrown in to give a fertile window where you switch to condoms is a valid, sensible and effective potential form of contraception for some women.