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Original poster

Flatmate says I owe her £600

641 replies

Digestivesandcheese · 02/11/2023 15:11

I was meeting my flatmate (who is also a good friend) in London recently and agreed to bring her weekend bag with me on the train (She was meeting her DM earlier in the day for a trip to the Theatre) I had a rucksack containing my things for the weekend.
I got off the train in London and realised I had stupidly left her bag on the train. I got back on the train but the bag was gone! It hasn't turned up in lost property. I have chased up several times.
My friend says I owe her £600 for the bag and contents. I agree it was my fault but can I claim compensation from the rail company as the bag hasn't turned up? If not, I will have to borrow money to pay my friend for her things

OP posts:
Mittleme · 03/11/2023 17:55

if you have apologised then I would wonder why people are so mean am afraid . Its a common theme here but I would feel guilty charging a friend money for loosing my bag
if you can afford the £600 then not so much problem but if your "friend " knows u would struggle with that money then why ?

likethislikethat · 03/11/2023 18:06

Maybe you owe her something but not even insurance buys new for old on clothes.

You were doing herbal favour.

I'd expect her to have insurance and if she didn't then tough.

I wouldn't be paying more than a bottle of wine.

KatJarratt · 03/11/2023 18:11

Re-reading the bit about borrowing it from your Mum makes me feel even worse for you. Some of your wording also makes me feel your flatmate is quite manipulative - the way you say "it was my silly mistake" and that you'll "still be friends", these sound a bit like things she has told you.

The bottom line is that she really only has a moral claim here (I very much doubt if she tried to pursue it legally that anyone would decide you had to pay her) and as this thread has demonstrated people appear to be about 50/50 on who's actually even morally in the right.

Given the amount of financial hardship it sounds like it would tell her you plan to pursue all other options first - asking about cctv, trying to get a crime number, checking that nobody's insurance will cover it and re-checking it hasn't turned up in lost property (I would also check where the train terminated and call them as if it had somehow got moved to another luggage rack or something it might have gone to the end of the line).

I would say that only once that has all been looked into will you be able to look at paying her as something tells me if it does turn up she might not be as quick to pay you back.

Edinburghmusing · 03/11/2023 18:12

Sure pay her £600 then offset that against your £600 personal courier fee/

of course you don’t owe her. You were doing her a favor for free. She tooK the risk. She could
ha e paid for a courier but she didn’t.

Shyam35 · 03/11/2023 18:15

Oh so she go to shop and ask
For 1/3 foundation and quart of mascara? Get real!!

Yourcatisnotsorry · 03/11/2023 18:20

I think because you got back on the train straight away they were clearly stolen not lost. You didn’t do anything on purpose and a couple of mins leaving them is not catastrophically wrong. it’s theft not carelessness on your behalf. You were doing her a favour so she shouldn’t ask you to pay. Nothing the train co will do. Check your travel and home insurance but you’d have to have uk included in the travel (and they’d possibly say it’s your own fault for not being attentive).

BubblesMacgee · 03/11/2023 18:21

If you got back on the train immediately to look sounds like it was stolen, possibly even before you got off - this is a big problem at the moment and had to wrestle my own luggage back from someone "accidentally" taking it off our train only a couple of weeks ago and my godmother had several bags of expensive shopping stolen from right beside her when she fell asleep on a train journey recently. Can the train company access any cctv for your carriage if you have the time of the journey? Also report as stolen to the police and get a crime number which may prod the train company to be more helpful. Sadly it sounds like you are going to be shelling out the £600 to your friend.

S4uk · 03/11/2023 18:22

I left my bag on the train, similar timescales… wasn’t at lost property; but it had been picked by train staff who hadn’t got as far as lost property yet, so I managed to get it back on the platform before it got to lost property

Tryingmybestadhd · 03/11/2023 18:24

Has either of you have holiday insurance ? Maybe as you where away on a break they will cover it

WeeDove · 03/11/2023 18:49

Wow, in her shoes I'd never have asked for 600£ no matter how devastated I was to have to replace all those things. Am I a mug.
I would have been consoling the friend no doubt, ''oh don't worry, only stuff, nothing sentimental'' omg

Keeper11 · 03/11/2023 18:49

Of course you don’t have to pay! Ridiculous of your friend to ask. You did her a favour by bringing her bag to London. Did you agree to reimburse her if you lost it! Of course not. Was there any agreement at all between you? Again of course not. It sounds as if the bag was stolen. It wasn’t there when you re boarded the train. One of you might be covered by house contents or travel insurance, but if not, tough. Legally she doesn’t have a leg to stand on. Now this may cost you the friendship, but there is no way I would pay for a favour that went wrong.

WeeDove · 03/11/2023 18:50

I agree with pp you were doing her a favour. You weren't hired to do a job that you fucked up

I hope it doesn't cost you the friendship but if she shames you in to paying her back, then she's not very empathetic

slore · 03/11/2023 18:55

coffeeaddict77 · 03/11/2023 16:04

I agree. I also think many people don't get on trains of they think it is so negligent to put luggage on the luggage rack. You are absolutely told to do this. Obviously noone should leave valuables in the luggage but I would say the same of a weekend bag if you are expecting someone else to carry it.

Show quote history

I regularly get trains, I'm a non-driver.

Putting something on the luggage rack isn't the issue. OP would have put her own luggage there, too. The issue is carelessly forgetting it. It's not like she forgot her own stuff.

Mummyofbananas · 03/11/2023 18:58

Phone your insurance or your friend- im a claims handler there might be cover for personal possessions (mkst policiesnive dealt with have this) contents away from home, accidental loss and sometimes even for contents temporarily in your possession so worth checking

slore · 03/11/2023 18:58

Again - carrying luggage on a train is not a massive favour.

Absolutely no empathy for the poor girls who's lost all her expensive belongings for a weekend away.

Mommytomylittlestars · 03/11/2023 19:14

I know majority here are saying “your fault you pay” but really you were doing her a favour. She did not have insurance or check what happens if you lost her valuables- someone could literally have snatched the bag from you & it wouldn’t be your fault- this is no different - you got off- remembered the bag & when you climbed back it was gone- possibly stolen.
You were not providing her a service for a fee.So essentially she has not legal grounds to claim from you.
If she was a good friend she wouldn’t demand you pay- especially knowing you don’t have the money to pay & actually don’t even own similarly expensive stuff yourself- you have to borrow to pay.
If you don’t want to lose a friend perhaps offer half amount as compensation but really you don’t owe her anything- next time she should carry her own baggage- sounds like she cares more about her material goods than friendship. You on the other hand seem to be a good friend.

notlucreziaborgia · 03/11/2023 19:14

WeeDove · 03/11/2023 18:50

I agree with pp you were doing her a favour. You weren't hired to do a job that you fucked up

I hope it doesn't cost you the friendship but if she shames you in to paying her back, then she's not very empathetic

She agreed to take responsibility for her friend’s belongings. It doesn’t matter that OP ‘wasn’t hired’ - her friend trusted her to do a simple fucking favour. Unfortunately, OP was careless and this is the result. That OP is now down £600 is on OP.

Meowandthen · 03/11/2023 19:15

You lost her things. You owe her.

llizzie · 03/11/2023 19:15

I am not sure if it is so, but if you have homeowners insurance, or renters insurance, you might be able to claim from your insurance. You may have an excess to pay.

notlucreziaborgia · 03/11/2023 19:16

Mommytomylittlestars · 03/11/2023 19:14

I know majority here are saying “your fault you pay” but really you were doing her a favour. She did not have insurance or check what happens if you lost her valuables- someone could literally have snatched the bag from you & it wouldn’t be your fault- this is no different - you got off- remembered the bag & when you climbed back it was gone- possibly stolen.
You were not providing her a service for a fee.So essentially she has not legal grounds to claim from you.
If she was a good friend she wouldn’t demand you pay- especially knowing you don’t have the money to pay & actually don’t even own similarly expensive stuff yourself- you have to borrow to pay.
If you don’t want to lose a friend perhaps offer half amount as compensation but really you don’t owe her anything- next time she should carry her own baggage- sounds like she cares more about her material goods than friendship. You on the other hand seem to be a good friend.

Anyone that loses their friends belongings through their own carelessness and goes ‘not my problem’ isn’t someone you would be be inclined to value over material goods tbh.

MinnieL · 03/11/2023 19:17

IActuallyDidItMyself · 02/11/2023 16:50

I honestly don't understand these replies! If you lose or ruins something that belongs to someone else, it's surely just accepted good manners to replace it? Even if it's an accident? I know I certainly would – and I would think a lot less of a "friend" who didn't offer. I think OP sounds lovely and is doing the right thing. I definitely wouldn't want to be friends with any of the posters saying they would end the friendship and not replace anything!

Show quote history

I completely agree with you!

followmyflow · 03/11/2023 19:18

you might owe her something but no way do you owe her £600! you dont pay full cost of a bunch of used clothes and makeup in a weekend bag that went missing. maybe they'd be worth £50!

llizzie · 03/11/2023 19:20

Does your room mate have home or renters insurance? She could recover the loss through her insurers.

I cannot understand why so many people do not have home insurance. My parents always said that the three main things in life were a roof over your head, food in your belly and insurance. I have had home insurance since I was 20, yet rarely made a claim.

pepsirolla · 03/11/2023 19:24

You're not a courier company you are a friend doing a favour. If she was concerned as high value she should have had it insured. Most I would offer is half as she should take some responsibility. If she demands more I would be reconsidering the friendship

SoShallINever · 03/11/2023 19:25

I think if you ask a mate to do you a favour you have to expect that things could go wrong and that your friend won't have insurance. If you want a proper insured service then you have to pay a courier.
I personally think your "friend" has a bit of a cheek to demand that you pay her. Certainly makes me less inclined to do a favour again. They do say no good deed goes unpunished