Flatmate says I owe her £600

[Digestivesandcheese]

I was meeting my flatmate (who is also a good friend) in London recently and agreed to bring her weekend bag with me on the train (She was meeting her DM earlier in the day for a trip to the Theatre) I had a rucksack containing my things for the weekend.
I got off the train in London and realised I had stupidly left her bag on the train. I got back on the train but the bag was gone! It hasn't turned up in lost property. I have chased up several times.
My friend says I owe her £600 for the bag and contents. I agree it was my fault but can I claim compensation from the rail company as the bag hasn't turned up? If not, I will have to borrow money to pay my friend for her things

Those breakdowns almost all assume replacement costs are payable. Clothes someone has bought and worn over time will have very little value, likewise used make-up, perfume etc.

She didn’t ’push it on other people’. She asked a friend she trusted to do her a favour.

Fucking hell, the mental gymnastics some are doing to make it not OP’s fault/her friend’s fault for daring to trust OP and buy things that cost more than the bare minimum.

She didn't take them.

And the flatmate is a friend. A person who can afford a £600 overnight bag does not treat a friend like that.

But the flatmate has to replace them which means the bag being lost will cost her the price they are new.

I see it the other way around - a person who loses someone else’s valuable items through their own carelessness isn’t a friend if they just shrug their shoulders and say ‘not my problem’.

Interesting thread and strong divisions and opinions on both sides. Sign of the times.

I think we can all agree £600 is a lot of money for the OP to repay. And the flatmate no longer has items valued at £600.

There has been so much chat about the value of these lost items and who is to "blame". What is the value of friendship and how should that be addressed in this situation?

We all rely on friends and in a rich life we all want/need to be able to rely on friends and be relied upon in turn. We also all fuck up, make mistakes. Nothing that happened here was deliberate. We have all left something on a train, or in a pub, or behind somewhere. And the OP was unlucky enough to be in the vicinity of a thief who took advantage of her momentary mistake.

I think the fairest and most healing solution would be for both people to own their roles in this situation and agree to cover half of the £600 each (assuming that is a a genuine figure). So the OP pays £300.

No, she was just careless and left something entrusted to her on a train. That the friend can afford a £600 overnight bag doesn’t mean she deserves it being lost, or that she’s somehow wrong for daring to have/ spend that. There’s a definite undertone of ‘fuck that rich butch’ in some of these responses, and it’s fucking wild.

I wouldn’t value a friend that didn’t take responsibility for their mistake. Had I done what OP did I would absolutely be paying for it, as I would expect a friend to had they lost my belongings. I wouldn’t be interested in friendship with anyone that wouldn’t.

£600 isn’t a lot of money. My overnight bag would consist of the following:

£200 bag
£100 jeans
£70 underwear
£60 top
£150 shoes
£70 toothbrush
£100 perfume and makeup
£200 glasses or contact lenses

I think that if you want something valuable or precious to get somewhere you pay for a courier, special delivery, etc. If you get a friend to take it, well, you run a risk. Hopefully everything works out OK but everyone makes mistakes and forgets things. Travel can be very stressful. I think the owner of the bag is being a bit mean. Maybe pay up and forget them?

I can't decide what I feel about this but I think that I agree with you. I think that I would be annoyed with my friend. I would think , why would you agree to bring it along if you aren't going to take care of it? I'd rather you just say no.

It's like if a friend agrees to transport a valuable or delicate item and just chuck it in the back of the car or at the bottom of the luggage rack of the train and it gets broken and you are supposed to be appreciative of the friend doing the favour. (I've had issues like this with family members and then I'm supposed to be grateful!) Why agree to it? I'd rather they said no.

I feel like this friend has to be 'grateful' that the OP transported it for her, even though she was careless.

However if it is a genuine accident and the friend hadn't informed of the value then I am more sympathetic. If it was one expensive item then the friend should have informed and it's many expensive items, does the friend actually need these items or is she making a point?

It could be an expensive bag itself. I recently bought a new rucksack and it cost about £150 :( I would be more upset at the bag than the contents.

When I went away hiking and left my bag temporarily with my friend I'd expect her to look after it. If I thought that she was going to leave it unattended I wouldn't ask. So Idk

If you have contents insurance or annual travel insurance Uk trips are almost always covered. The bag would be classed as yours as you were carrying it so you might be able to pay your friend and then claim with them (your friend should just send you receipts for the expensive items).

A grown adult offered to take her flatmate’s bag and left it on the train (but didn’t leave her own luggage). It’s definitely OP’s fault.

To those debating costs - you and OP have no idea what’s actually in the bag. But to give you an example - just my laptop alone is worth £1k in today’s money. My glasses cost £400 (not designer, I just have shit eyesight) and even if you didn’t include the cost of the bag or clothes or the replacements I’d need to buy immediately as I’m going to be staying in London, it could easily get to £1.6k when you include accessories and make up.

Exactly. I have no idea why people think that £600 is an excessive amount. I would understand if it was £6000, but items can add up to a few hundred very easily.

No, she should pay something, but not £600.

Yes. Maybe split it and consider it a lesson learned on both sides. Personally I'd write it off if it was my bag, but, as is plain here, everyone's different.

And if you assume responsibility for your friend’s bag and lose it through your own carelessness, well, you run the risk of being held responsible for it.

Again, £600 for a weekend bag plus contents isn’t expensive. I genuinely don't know anyone that would hire a courier over asking a trusted friend to bring it along with them.

it’s hilarious that some are rating the value of their friendship so highly that they think a friend should just accept them shrugging off losing belongings they’ve been trusted with, with a ‘that looks like a you problem!’. As if losing a friend with that attitude isn’t something to actively embrace. And outside of the bag, nothing of value was lost!

The valuation of £600 for a bunch of used gear is completely unprovable. If money is more valuable than friendship to that person, I guess I could pay it or maybe blank/block them and wait for the solicitor's letter if any.

Interesting since I’d see someone not paying it back as seeing money as more valuable than friendship. They’d rather keep their money than compensate a friend for something that was their fault.

I wouldn’t issue a solicitor’s letter but I’d certainly cut off a so called friend who lost my property due to negligence then shrugged their shoulders and told me I was a ‘bad friend’ for expecting them to compensate me for their blatant carelessness.

It doesn't sound like OP wants to fall out with her friend.

Like some PPs said she needs to investigate insurance/lost property more thoroughly then if that comes to nothing work out what was exactly in it.

Friend would probably be OK with OP paying it back over 3 months for example.

Of course it's unprovable, but has been demonstrated many times on this thread, it is very likely to be an underestimate. UNLESS the friend had only Primark clothing, no shoes, no electricals, limited make up/toiletries...

As an example, I wear very little make up, and don't have expensive tastes, but in my weekend bag for tonight I have:
Shampoo/conditioner/shower gel/face wash : £17
Hair mousse/styling putty : £16
Mascara : £12
Moisturiser : £12
Toothpaste : £3

That's £60 just to replace my essential stuff. And I can well imagine that many people's equivalent would be a LOT more.

£600 is probably very conservative, unless OP's friend is very frugal and had very little in the bag (which in itself was very cheap).

All the people saying 'you're responsible, you pay' would absolutely not feel the same if they suddenly had to find £600!

If my friend had lost my bag, I'd be pretty gutted but I don't think I'd be demanding a payment to cover purchases of brand new stuff! I'd accept that mistakes happen and look to reach a compromise. That's the nature of good friendships I think!

Contact lost property for the train company just in case some entitled person moved it to fit their luggage in (have witnessed this happening). If it’s not turned up then contact British Transport Police, they oversee crimes on the railway network and will have authority to request the CCTV.

It’s unlikely any insurance would cover the bag if it was left out of line of sight. I once got on a coach and was told to put my bag in the hold. I explained that it had a laptop in it and my insurance company wouldn’t cover it out of line of sight, so was allowed to take it on board and kept it with me due to the value of the contents.

Blimey, I think the flatmate needs to take the hit for the loss, the OP was doing her a favour!

I'm going away soon so I'll tot up the price of bag + contents and come back to this thread. I never pack jewellery or laptop if I'm visiting a friend however.