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Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Has your DH turned into a grumpy old man?

83 replies

Liuckle · 31/10/2023 16:40

I love my Dh and I used to hate him going away

But now I enjoy a weekend with him out of the house. He has become quite grumpy and a bit controlling

He definitely wasn't like this when we were young

Male mid life thing?

OP posts:
Cuppaand2biscuits · 31/10/2023 20:43

Yes! I actively avoid mine most of the time because all he does is moan about everything, and usually it's a repeat complaint that I've heard dozens of times before. I think mine needs to retire and then he'd be a bit happier but I'd be bloody miserable with him being around the house all the time.

BigFatLiar · 31/10/2023 20:48

I suspect he thinks I'm the grumpy one.

vidflex · 31/10/2023 20:55

AmandaHoldensLips · 31/10/2023 20:37

Not just the grump but what the fuck is it with all the fleece clothing?

Hottest wash and a tumble dry cured this problem for me lol

LizzieSiddal · 31/10/2023 21:01

Mine can be a Grumpy Old Man but after a few minutes of it I point out he’s doing a Victor Meldrew and he thankfully stops.

I wouldn’t put up with his mods affecting the house/kids. I’d be having a chat with him about that as it really isn’t fair on you all.

FoxClocks · 31/10/2023 21:03

DH is a grumpy old man and he loves fleece!

WeightWhat · 31/10/2023 21:08

I’ve been really assertive with calling this out for my DH.

He is not entitled to dictate the atmosphere. I am sick of listening to things he doesn’t like. He can improve or leave the room/the group. And no, he can’t turn the telly off just because he is done with it, or whatever. Goddamn it, no way will I stay for that. (Kind of confused as to why anyone does.)

cheezncrackers · 31/10/2023 21:11

Yup! Mine too. Grumpy with everyone, always banging on about homework, often incapable of a normal conversation, very critical. He's 53 as well. Maybe there's something in this 'male menopause' crap after all?

PangramAddict · 31/10/2023 21:11

Yep, mine is 44 and and just moans constantly. His favourite topic is that there are "too many objects in this house". This means the kids toys, anything belonging to me etc. It's really getting me down at the moment. He works from home so is always in the house. I may just burn it down one day and ask if he's happy then.

LemonLimeDivine · 31/10/2023 21:23

Yep. I call him Meldrew due to his frequent “I don’t believe it!” outbursts. He is turning into such a grumpy old man. 😁

crankit · 31/10/2023 21:27

Yep, dh 42 and is turning into his dad. But his dad is less miserable than him !

SkyFullofStars1975 · 31/10/2023 21:31

DH is 59 and he is seriously trying my patience this week with his grumpy shit. His attitude has really slid downhill since he turned 50 - he's miserable, grumpy, horribly judgemental, and he's always got something wrong with him. He had hernia surgery this summer for a small inguinal hernia and he's still ooohing and ouching when he stretches/reaches for something. I am truthfully dreading his aging progressing because it's been no picnic over the last 9 years.

Multipleexclamationmarks · 31/10/2023 21:44

Yep, I've got another Victor Meldew here. Mid 50's moans, moans moans mainly about work and the kids being noisy.
Also i've stopped even asking him to socialise with most friends, it's not worth it.

He's mostly perfectly lovely if left to stay home and potter about though.

LadyGaGasPokerFace · 31/10/2023 21:55

My dh is a GOM. He’s 51. Definitely hit him turning 50. Silly sod doesn’t even know he’s born some days.
I tried to get rid of him tonight but he found out his meeting at work is now taking place. I was hoping for a few peaceful days without him.

Foxblue · 31/10/2023 21:59

Do you all ever get sad that your DHs are quite happy to bring you down with them?

DelphiniumBlue · 31/10/2023 22:01

Flibbertigibbettytoes · 31/10/2023 18:18

Yep, grumpy and tends to interpret stupid everyday things as criticisms or (unwanted) requests. Makes relaxing and just chatting really difficult.

Oh yes, Ive got one of those, it’s like he’s turned into a dementor.

DyslexicPoster · 31/10/2023 22:06

Yes my dh turned into a old man at 40. I have constantly pull him up on his old man ways. I think he would be happier in a retirement village than parenting two teens and two younger kids

HaveALaff · 31/10/2023 22:06

No, but I think I am turning into a grumpy old man.

Beamur · 31/10/2023 22:10

Yes. Plus unnecessarily pedantic.
I am also a grumpy menopausal woman so we're about even.

Autiebibliophile · 31/10/2023 22:14

Yes and mines in his forties. I dread what he will be like in twenty years time. Also controlling in some ways. An example - he likes to sleep in a bit on a weekend then have a late breakfast. Fair enough but it means if we want to go out in the day he won't be ready until at least 12. He also likes to be home by 3 so he can start cooking tea. So basically unless I put my foot down we can't go out for more than 3 hours at a weekend together.

BlueGarters · 31/10/2023 22:16

Nope not at all and he is 55.

andyourpointiswhat · 31/10/2023 22:19

Ironically mine has got less grumpy as he got older, and is now lovely to live with, the fact that he is now self employed doing something he loves probably helped but thank goodness he has stopped sulking and creating “an atmosphere” every time he felt slighted as I came close to leaving a few times.

keffie12 · 31/10/2023 22:24

I lost my husband unexpectedly 5 years ago. He had turned into a grumpy old man when he hit 50.

Must be an age thing. I wish he was still physically here being grumpy.

I'm not saying that to make anyone feel bad. I'm saying it is a fact for me.

I still natter with him every day. I can still hear the sounds of what he would be saying to me at times, too 🤣🤣 Still nagging, he is 🤣🤣🤣

I love him dearly. We were so blessed to have him. No one can replace him

justasking111 · 31/10/2023 22:24

Mine tootles off on his E bike and chats to his GOM mates down at the marina. He does rant about them at times because they're getting forgetful, hypochondriac, testy. I tactfully remind him that he is too.

Mind you I had to tell him quite forcefully that I didn't need a blow by blow account of his fit bit readings daily.

Crispynoodle · 31/10/2023 22:24

Of course he has!

DawnBreaks · 31/10/2023 22:27

Mine is often grumpy but on the other hand he's way more tolerant and less likely to fly off the handle than when he was younger. I'm way more outspoken than I used to be and less inclined to put up with his shit, so I reckon we are pretty even. We rub along pretty well these days. I'm pretty good at zoning out when he's on a rant. I have too many friends who have lost their partners recently. so I'm grateful mine is still around. Grumpy or not. :-)