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Original poster

Trick or treating with friends

31 replies

BattyNora1 · 31/10/2023 12:27

DD almost 13 just came down and told me some of her friends are going trick or treating.
Would you let your almost 13 year go with just friends they are all 12/13.
There is 5 of them and 6 if DD goes.

OP posts:
Remmy123 · 31/10/2023 12:29

Of course!

Nix32 · 31/10/2023 12:30

Yes, of course.

InAPickle12345 · 31/10/2023 12:30

Why would you not let her? Is there concerns around the time or location?

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LucyAnnTrent · 31/10/2023 12:40

Yes, I think so, but I'd have a chat about expected standards of behaviour beforehand, as in my experience groups of unsupervised teens can get silly (and threatening). No snaffling all the sweets from "help yourself" bowls, no visiting undecorated houses and definitely no "tricks".

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 31/10/2023 12:42

LucyAnnTrent · 31/10/2023 12:40

Yes, I think so, but I'd have a chat about expected standards of behaviour beforehand, as in my experience groups of unsupervised teens can get silly (and threatening). No snaffling all the sweets from "help yourself" bowls, no visiting undecorated houses and definitely no "tricks".

^This

Lovemychair · 31/10/2023 12:46

If they are well behaved and not likely to cause trouble then maybe, but a group of 6 teens may be a bit intimidating to some people .

Original poster
BattyNora1 · 31/10/2023 13:47

InAPickle12345 she's never been out when it's dark with friends before.
The area they are going around is where 3 of the girls live so they know the streets. One of them suggested 6pm so I would drop DD off at one of the houses. Is 6pm a reasonable time for 6 girls?
LucyAnnTrent I've said if I let her go she needs to only knock where there are pumpkins or trick or treat signs and to make sure she uses her manners and to stay together at all times.

OP posts:
BakedTattie · 31/10/2023 13:53

My 8 year old is going guising with his friends.

Original poster
BattyNora1 · 31/10/2023 14:22

BakedTattie without adults?

OP posts:
cccarol · 31/10/2023 14:35

just tell her to stand back and beware of dogs xx

Iliedwheniwas17 · 31/10/2023 14:41

my ds is 11 and some of his friends are 12 (year 7). They’re going together without an adult tonight which I’m fine with and have explained all the rules- only go to decorated houses, take just one sweet, manners etc. however I think next year, in year 8, they’ll be getting a bit old. Trick or treating imo is for younger kids not teens and crowds of teens in masks can be intimidating. So I’ve said next year we’ll have his friends at ours for films (And probably Xbox), popcorn and lots of sweets Instead

BitofaStramash · 31/10/2023 14:57

Mine have gone out with their friends since they were 8.

Teenagers would be mortified to have a parent guising with them.

BlazingWorld · 31/10/2023 15:04

I thought your concern was they were too old - my year 9 13 year old is not trick or treating this year as he feels he is too old. Last year he wasn't going to go but then took a younger neighbour at the last minute. I wouldn't have any concerns about them going off by themselves, apart from , as has been already said, potential rowdiness.

Hedonism · 31/10/2023 15:13

I think it's really for primary school ages, once they get past year 6 or 7 they are a bit big. I've told 13yo ds that he can either come with us and 'help' his little sister or he can stay at home and give out sweets. He's not impressed, he wants to go out with his mates but some of them are bigger than me and will look quite intimidating with Halloween costumes on if they are roaming around in a big group.

ShutTheDoorBabe · 31/10/2023 15:51

Yes. Both my dc, at 11+12, are going with their respective mates. Saves me a job.

ShutTheDoorBabe · 31/10/2023 15:53

Hedonism · 31/10/2023 15:13

I think it's really for primary school ages, once they get past year 6 or 7 they are a bit big. I've told 13yo ds that he can either come with us and 'help' his little sister or he can stay at home and give out sweets. He's not impressed, he wants to go out with his mates but some of them are bigger than me and will look quite intimidating with Halloween costumes on if they are roaming around in a big group.

I disagree with this btw and feel quite sorry for your ds, being made to lose out because of your misgivings. I see loads of older kids out round here and they've usually put a lot of effort into their costumes and are really polite.

ShutTheDoorBabe · 31/10/2023 15:58

BattyNora1 · 31/10/2023 13:47

InAPickle12345 she's never been out when it's dark with friends before.
The area they are going around is where 3 of the girls live so they know the streets. One of them suggested 6pm so I would drop DD off at one of the houses. Is 6pm a reasonable time for 6 girls?
LucyAnnTrent I've said if I let her go she needs to only knock where there are pumpkins or trick or treat signs and to make sure she uses her manners and to stay together at all times.

Will she not be walking to and from school in the dark either alone or with friends soon?

With so many people around, and a general party atmosphere, it's possibly safer tonight than walking home on a random evening in mid November.

StoneColdAlibi · 31/10/2023 16:00

I've just told 14yo DS he can't go with a group of other boys. They're too old and will be intimidating to some people as 6 ft masked 'men'.

Hedonism · 31/10/2023 16:13

ShutTheDoorBabe · 31/10/2023 15:53

I disagree with this btw and feel quite sorry for your ds, being made to lose out because of your misgivings. I see loads of older kids out round here and they've usually put a lot of effort into their costumes and are really polite.

Show quote history

I've actually been in two minds about it, and have been trying to find a compromise. But I realised that my misgivings were more about some of his friends than him, and you are right, that isn't fair. Turns out the friends I was worried about aren't going so I've said he can go with a couple of mates after all.

Edited to add: maybe it depends on your neighborhood, it's definitely just the little ones that do it around here. He's going to look massive - but they are polite kids so won't be scaring anyone.

BakedTattie · 31/10/2023 16:41

Yes without adults

ShutTheDoorBabe · 31/10/2023 18:55

Hedonism · 31/10/2023 16:13

I've actually been in two minds about it, and have been trying to find a compromise. But I realised that my misgivings were more about some of his friends than him, and you are right, that isn't fair. Turns out the friends I was worried about aren't going so I've said he can go with a couple of mates after all.

Edited to add: maybe it depends on your neighborhood, it's definitely just the little ones that do it around here. He's going to look massive - but they are polite kids so won't be scaring anyone.

Edited
Show quote history

I'm sorry if that can across as rude and snippy; I really didn't post with that intention.

Yes, around here there are kids of all ages either with their parents, friends or older siblings and it just feels quite laid back and fun. I'm guilty of doing that thing of assuming everywhere is like where I am, sorry.

Original poster
BattyNora1 · 31/10/2023 19:10

ShutTheDoorBabe she gets a lift to and from school.
I'm off to pick her up in a few minutes and it sounds like they enjoyed it so I'm glad I let her go.

OP posts:
drspouse · 31/10/2023 19:21

My DS is 11 and in year 7, he's home with me answering the door and some of his former school mates came by in a group (only I recognised them though). I think it's nice (I wish he would want to but that's another story).

cocksstrideintheevening · 31/10/2023 19:23

No. They're too old. It's for little kids here, primary age.

Dts are 12 none of them have gone this year, there were some parties at the weekend and next instead.

mathanxiety · 31/10/2023 19:39

Yes, mine went off with friends from age 9ish.