Page 2 | Why does TTC take more than one cycle if there are no fertility issues?

musingtoday · 2023-10-28T14:57:13+00:00

I know the NHS website advises TTC can take a healthy couple 12 months. Just wondering what the medical reasons (if there is no diagnosable condition) could be which means it doesn’t happen instantly? Sorry if this is an ignorant post, but just wondering what the reasons might be that it doesn’t happen. Does anyone know? We conceived immediately about a year ago (one time it could’ve possibly happened, with contraceptive failure) and terminated due to not being in the best financial situation. Now we are TTC again and I expected it to happen immediately. This was our first cycle trying. Today is cycle day 33 and I have just got my period, but we DTD every other day of the month & I had all the usual fertile signs: had a whole week of EWCM and a 13 day luteal phase. I am trying not to feel upset- but I really am- given how fast and unexpected it happened before. I feel like I threw away my chance and that is really hard to take. I was only trying to do the best thing in the circumstances. My worst fear was it taking a while to conceive when we were ready. It was only a year ago and we are mid twenties so age shouldn’t be a factor… really confused! Have we done anything wrong? Should I cut out coffee and alcohol? I did have quite a few drinks this month so maybe that ruined the quality of my egg cell. Thank you

mummyh2016 · 28/10/2023 19:16

OP this was me when we were first trying for DD. I think because we have it drilled into us as teens how important contraception is you think the minute you stop taking it you'll get caught. Especially as I'd got pregnant years before when on the pill (had an abortion). The second month especially I'd convinced myself I was pregnant and I felt like the world was caving in when my period came along. I went straight out and got everything I could get my hands on relaying to fertility, I got books, ovulation kits, the lot. It took me 3 cycles to conceive DD (the following month!) and 4 cycles to conceive DS. If you've been on the pill or anything it's going to take a couple of cycles IMO to get out of your system properly.

Original poster

musingtoday · 28/10/2023 19:17

Mushroo · 28/10/2023 17:20

It can be all sorts! It took me three months.

Looking back, one month I had a stinking cold around ovulation time. So that could have been a reason or it coulD be a complete coincidence.

Weirdly, the month we conceived I just felt like
it was the lucky month, despite doing nothing differently.

Did you feel disheartened when you didn’t conceive? I am so surprised by how I’m feeling to be honest

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Darhon · 28/10/2023 19:19

in ivf and natural conception consistently trying over several cycles increases the change of pregnancy. Per cycle, the chances are 25-33 for natural or ivf. This finished with age as eggs and sperm is more likely to have chromosomal
abnormalities. Age, good nutrition will help

pointythings · 28/10/2023 19:21

It really is all just chance. First time round it took 6 months for me to get pregnant - some of that was down to the copper coil messing up my cycle, and with hindsight I got pregnant on the second proper 'normal' cycle after having it out, but it didn't feel like that at the time.

Second time round we thought we should start trying early because hey, we were both two years older and I was mid 30s. First time out and that was it. 25 - 30% chance every time is about right.

Mushroo · 28/10/2023 19:37

musingtoday · 28/10/2023 19:17

Did you feel disheartened when you didn’t conceive? I am so surprised by how I’m feeling to be honest

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I did and I was surprised I felt that way because I know logically it can take up to a year.

Even the second month I thought ‘oh no, it’s never going to happen’ so I completely get when you’re coming from.

It’s not logical but you can’t help the emotions.

RedRobyn2021 · 28/10/2023 19:42

I understand what you mean

When I got pregnant with my dd it happened the first cycle, then we started trying for baby 2 and I fell pregnant first cycle again, but it was a chemical pregnancy. I've had 3 months without a period because of that miscarriage and finally had a period and now I'm beginning to think it's going to be a harder road than I thought.

Its disappointing.

Totalblindnessofthesoul · 28/10/2023 19:55

It's just the way it is. It's like your body rolls a dice every month -sometimes you'll roll that 6 first time, other times it may take 20 rolls.

Ultimately, you don't just order a baby and it arrive 9 months after that decision. Sometimes they take longer, sometimes they don't arrive even with help, sometimes they arrive earlier than planned, sometimes when all hope is gone.

For me, i got pregnant at 3m and -1m.

You've only just started, you know it can take many months, so just to relax and enjoy it. If you say aren't pregnant in 6m maybe try tracking things etc but for now just have sex (that's what we did anyway).

thelonemommabear · 28/10/2023 19:57

It's a little known fact that human beings as a species are one of the least fertile mammals on the entire planet. In any cycle the chance of conceiving is about 25%. So the odds are more likely that you won't conceive rather than you will. Depressing thought I know. Sorry but it's good to be realistic. Also average sperm count has decreased over 50% since the 1970s

Original poster

musingtoday · 28/10/2023 19:58

thelonemommabear · 28/10/2023 19:57

It's a little known fact that human beings as a species are one of the least fertile mammals on the entire planet. In any cycle the chance of conceiving is about 25%. So the odds are more likely that you won't conceive rather than you will. Depressing thought I know. Sorry but it's good to be realistic. Also average sperm count has decreased over 50% since the 1970s

I feel a bit better thinking the chance is 25%, if I’d known that though I’m not sure I’d have ever terminated. It’s easy to regret that choice despite it being right for the time given that it’s now not happening immediately

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Perfect28 · 28/10/2023 20:01

It's actually more surprising that any eggs get fertilised given how many mechanisms there are to prevent this.

catchmewhenifall · 28/10/2023 20:09

I was the reverse: took two years for number one and number two was a complete one-time accident - I just couldn't believe it was possible! Also happy-accident was conceived on day 7 when all the tests for number one said I usually ovulated on day 19 🤷🏼‍♀️

user1846385927482658 · 28/10/2023 20:17

musingtoday · 28/10/2023 19:13

I didn’t know this. Thank you. Just assumed all eggs were good. We don’t smoke or drink and eat relatively well. I’m not even 25 yet so I’d have thought this would be prime time. Just feeling disheartened, I know people ten and even fifteen years older than me who boast about it taking one time.

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That's a really weird thing to boast about. It's not under anyone's control.

Original poster

musingtoday · 28/10/2023 20:18

user1846385927482658 · 28/10/2023 20:17

That's a really weird thing to boast about. It's not under anyone's control.

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I know, I thought that but one of them even said ‘my DH only has to look at me’…!

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Ididivfama · 28/10/2023 21:02

Also your body doesn’t know if is the first month or 300th month. It’s just the month that works. Good luck!

Original poster

musingtoday · 28/10/2023 21:04

Ididivfama · 28/10/2023 21:02

Also your body doesn’t know if is the first month or 300th month. It’s just the month that works. Good luck!

This is a helpful way of looking at things. So presuming there’s no issues underlying, you’d have just as much chance to conceive in October, as you would in November, as the one in December.

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TheNoodlesIncident · 28/10/2023 21:26

I'm not 100% sure of this but aren't your eggs fully formed in your ovaries when you're born? So all of your eggs are as old as you are... it's not like you're making a fresh egg each month, it's just coming from your supply. So it's not difficult to imagine that some just aren't as well made as others, or take too long to get down the tubes and meet slightly rougher than usual sperms <scientific>

It's probably best to do as @Totalblindnessofthesoul says and just concentrate on having fun rather than thinking Will this time do it? It's one of things that won't be helped by your stressing about it, although it's definitely easier said than done! But you do have time on your side at least...

Just checked: "You’re born with all the eggs you’ll ever produce. During fetal development, you have about 6 million eggs. At birth, there are approximately 1 million eggs left. By the time you reach puberty, only about 300,000 remain. The number of eggs you have continues to decline as you age and menstruate each cycle. Fertility also declines with age due to the decreasing number and quality of your remaining eggs." Fascinating stuff!

Springwillcome · 28/10/2023 21:31

My IVF doctor told me that the best eggs get released first, ie my best eggs went down the loo when I was thirteen. By the time we’re in our thirties our eggs are the dregs basically. And then from 35 the womb lining gets dodgy too.

TTC is hell, I wish you luck with it. Cutting out all alcohol and caffeine will help a lot. And try to stay physically relaxed if you can - eg watch comedy on youtube to make your body laugh, get foot rubs, etc.

Original poster

musingtoday · 28/10/2023 21:41

Springwillcome · 28/10/2023 21:31

My IVF doctor told me that the best eggs get released first, ie my best eggs went down the loo when I was thirteen. By the time we’re in our thirties our eggs are the dregs basically. And then from 35 the womb lining gets dodgy too.

TTC is hell, I wish you luck with it. Cutting out all alcohol and caffeine will help a lot. And try to stay physically relaxed if you can - eg watch comedy on youtube to make your body laugh, get foot rubs, etc.

Thank you! Do you know how long it is until there’s a benefit to cutting out caffeine and alcohol? I had a lot of caffeine until about 3 weeks ago, will next cycle possibly see the benefits or does it take months? Sorry I’m just quite inexperienced with all this stuff x

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Starboy14 · 28/10/2023 21:44

I have gotten pregnant from having sex 1 time during my fertile period and the longest was after 6 months of regular sex throughout the fertile period every month!

Good luck and try not to stress.

Ididivfama · 28/10/2023 22:08

TheNoodlesIncident · 28/10/2023 21:26

I'm not 100% sure of this but aren't your eggs fully formed in your ovaries when you're born? So all of your eggs are as old as you are... it's not like you're making a fresh egg each month, it's just coming from your supply. So it's not difficult to imagine that some just aren't as well made as others, or take too long to get down the tubes and meet slightly rougher than usual sperms <scientific>

It's probably best to do as @Totalblindnessofthesoul says and just concentrate on having fun rather than thinking Will this time do it? It's one of things that won't be helped by your stressing about it, although it's definitely easier said than done! But you do have time on your side at least...

Just checked: "You’re born with all the eggs you’ll ever produce. During fetal development, you have about 6 million eggs. At birth, there are approximately 1 million eggs left. By the time you reach puberty, only about 300,000 remain. The number of eggs you have continues to decline as you age and menstruate each cycle. Fertility also declines with age due to the decreasing number and quality of your remaining eggs." Fascinating stuff!

But they start to mature about three months before they’re released - so you can still influence them.

’it starts with an egg’ is a good book.

Ididivfama · 28/10/2023 22:08

musingtoday · 28/10/2023 21:41

Thank you! Do you know how long it is until there’s a benefit to cutting out caffeine and alcohol? I had a lot of caffeine until about 3 weeks ago, will next cycle possibly see the benefits or does it take months? Sorry I’m just quite inexperienced with all this stuff x

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Honestly don’t make yourself crazy. Just reduce it as much as you can and generally be healthy and it will help.

70sDuvet · 29/10/2023 16:56

I tried for 3 years and nothing.
Then I bought one of the electronic ovulation devices and it turned out I was ovulating later than my cycle "should"
I had 4 miscarriages in 18 months but conceived very quickly after each.
And then finally had DS.

The device then went to a friend who had been trying for 18 months and she was pregnant within 2. Again she had been misjudging her fertile time. She now has 3 DC all conceived in mid to late 30s

It's been used by so many friends now and created so many babies.

Original poster

musingtoday · 29/10/2023 20:10

I’m just really upset and trying not to be

Should I do something different this cycle or just let it be? We are young, not even 25 yet but dunno if to supplement or just get on with

OP posts:

mummyh2016 · 29/10/2023 21:03

musingtoday · 29/10/2023 20:10

I’m just really upset and trying not to be

Should I do something different this cycle or just let it be? We are young, not even 25 yet but dunno if to supplement or just get on with

The best thing you can do is try and relax and take some pressure off yourselves. I know it's easier said than done but you are going to drive yourself crazy stressing out.

ohsheglows · 29/10/2023 21:12

70sDuvet · 29/10/2023 16:56

I tried for 3 years and nothing.
Then I bought one of the electronic ovulation devices and it turned out I was ovulating later than my cycle "should"
I had 4 miscarriages in 18 months but conceived very quickly after each.
And then finally had DS.

The device then went to a friend who had been trying for 18 months and she was pregnant within 2. Again she had been misjudging her fertile time. She now has 3 DC all conceived in mid to late 30s

It's been used by so many friends now and created so many babies.

Do you mind sharing which device this was? Would love to know as I'm in the same position.

Why does TTC take more than one cycle if there are no fertility issues?

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