Oh talking about retiring at 55 and I'm having a little panic.

[Luckydog7]

Can anyone give me some advice? Im 36, husband is 48, he's just announced he wants to retire at 55. In principle I have no problem with this except that..

A. I've just come out of 4/5 years of child care (now 3 and 5) and feel like I'm just starting out on life again and retiring means slowing down.

B. Our older child has SEN and its sevear enough that he may never live independently and I'm worried about carrying the financial burden especially as oh is likely to die well before me.

C. I have basically no pension currently due to contract working etc although I do have over 10 years of ni contributions.

D. I was half dreaming of moving to a slightly larger house where I would have space for a proper office (i work from home)

E. My business is in its infancy and although I've made 10k this year working part time (term time only) I have no idea if it has capacity for a higher income long term.

On the plus side. Our mortgage will be paid off by then. We have a second mortgaged property which brings some additional income. Oh is likely being made redundant in January which should bring in enough to pay off a big chunk of our mortgage.

We obviously need to sit down and plan. I don't begrudge him retiring at all, he's worked his arse off since he was 18 and supported me starting my business and has a decent income for where we are, I don't know what to talk about as I'm so anxious.

I'm mainly concerned about my and my sons security going forward. It seems unfair he gets to retire at 55 if im forced to work into my 60s/70s to support us all too but obviously I don't know if I will have to do this currently as ds is only 5.

I don't want dd to be in the position of having to support her brother too after im gone and that means setting him up for life potentially.

It sounds like you 've had a much patchier work history early on (childcare, part time etc) so it's not going to be surprising if he gets to retire at a younger age than you.

He also sounds pretty well set up if he has a decent pension and a rental property and will be mortgage free, so I don't fully understand your panic? You won't have to support him from the sound of things, it's just that he will stop financially supporting your chosen lifestyle

I also have a young child who might never be able to live independently. He gets DLA now and when he is older I assume he will get PIP (and perhaps be entitled to universal credit I’m not sure).

If your (adult) child goes into supported living you won’t fund that - social workers do an assessment and approve the placement and funding. When your child is an adult you can also have a care needs assessment for the help that you and they need such as short breaks, day activities or one to one support and will be given a budget for these from the local authority.

I think planning to fund all of your child’s future needs for all time is an impossible ask. If you can simply be financial stable with a little savings and a good work life balance then that is enough in my opinion. I agree that your children come first but time with them is super important too.

Does you husband see his retirement as spending lots of time looking after the kids, taking them to places they enjoy and running them around to their activities? Basically a stay at home dad? If so and you can afford it then I think that is wonderful for your kids - and you if you want to get stuck into a career. If he sees retirement as lots of relaxing alone and disappearing to play golf etc while you run yourself ragged with work and caring for the children then no way.

Perhaps there is a compromise to be reached with your partner going part time or term time only?

Surely one or both spouses retiring is a joint decision, not an edict. The two of you will need to do some careful budget analysis and may even want to consider hiring a financial advisor with retirement expertise to review your situation. He may wish to retire at 55, but that doesn’t mean he can afford to retire.

Re: your husband (or you) dying - do you have life insurance that runs until you are 70 or so? If not it might be worth looking into some quotes.

He loves the kids to death so he wouldn't have an issue being a sahp.

Perhaps I should reframe this as an opportunity for my career. It just feels too soon with my business future still sp unsecure. My area of work is not well paid so my freelance work is actually better then employment even with gaps in productivity. The flexibility is very convenient.

If he wanted to go part time permanently I think that would be fine. Room to increase if needed and in a position to find well paid work as he goes.

I think I'm going to suggest he goes back to contracting. He really enjoyed the variety and he can pick up and drop as he wants so if he wants to do little or none for the next few months to enjoy our daughter we can do that.

I'm not sure he is the sort to be too tempted by a good offer to not work for long.

Looks like I will have to put my prices up!

From 2028 he won't be able to access any private pension funds until he is 57.

I think the responsibility falling on me is pretty scary. I've never funded a household on my own but that's going to be the likely reality at some point so you are right I need to sort out my own financial security anyway. I'm going to look into my own pension and perhaps a life insurance policy for the two of us.

He won't be able to access his pension until he's 57 OP, so that rather stops this. I think you a proper plan. It is an opportunity for your business, but to walk away so young with 'his' pension, which frankly is partly yours if you've been doing the brunt of childcare, isn't realistic.

Time for a big planning session and a reality check.

Not sure why you've had a few snarky answers- your concerns are totally justified.

55 is still a way off. I'd be inclined to say "that sounds great, let's run the numbers" and then sit down together for an afternoon to think about how it would work.

DH and I have a huge spreadsheet of all our assets (including pensions), plus mortgage etc which we update every six months. We also have various spreadsheets which set out cashflow projections based on different retirement dates (although every time I look at it I'm aware that, if you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans 😂), where our savings should be at different dates, what this means for projected income, inflation etc etc. Sounds like you could do with something similar. Start from working out the income you want (don't forget to adjust for inflation) then work backwards to determine where that's coming from- how much can come from pension/savings, how much you'll need to be earning to make up the difference, what you can put away now and so on.

I am surprised that you only have 10y NI contributions.

Well quite, and it may be a good idea to put your prices up anyway. As a freelancer you should be charging at least 50% above the 'employed' rate, possibly slightly more as you have to account for the lack of annual and sick leave, employer's pension contributions and that all costs (travel, training, equipment etc) fall on you.

In a few month's time, NMW for a 40 hour week (plus 5.6 weeks a year AL and a minimum of around £1k pa towards a pension) will be about £23k pa, so something to bear in mind when setting prices, especially as many entry level jobs pay more than this.

You won't be funding the household on your own as the rental income and his pension are coming in too. Def do up your prices as even at half time 10k is very low prob barely mw if that. Are your skills worth more? I assume so. Remember people pay cleaners 15 to 20 pounds an hour so if you're paying yourself 10 pounds an hour you are saying your work is worth half as much as a low skilled job.

Also have a think about how much of this is about your worries about money and how much is a more general feeling of not being ready to move onto that life stage yet (I know you're not retiring but having a retired spouse is still a change). I've had a similar mismatch with my OH where he's been thinking about slowing down just as I've emerged from the fug of childcare thinking of speeding up. Having a biggish age gap can be tricky in this regard so might be worth also talking through your expectations of what life will be like.

Retirement is a big step So many folk I know have regretted it and gone back to work even at 70!

55 is very young to retire really. Does he know how he'll fill his days? If he'll be functioning as a SAHM for your SEN child he might be happy to continue working or at least reduce his hours but not give up completely. Maybe in his mind he'll be walking into a life of leisure and freedom!

I'm sure that won't matter to him, we can likely manage for a couple of years with him selling stuff on ebay which is his side hussle.

My hourly rate is £25 which is yes is about 60% higher but will raise it to 27 in January.

I'm tempted to tell him let's wait until this time next year to see if my business is doing as I hope then have a proper 10 year plan set up.

@MyBlueDiary

Yes this is exactly how I feel too. I've just been thinking about buying one of the larger houses on our street and doing it up (selling ours) to upgrade and he's thinking to slow down.

He has plenty of hobbies, buying a selling technical equipment online, fixing old electronics.

Hes been talking about our parents dying and us inheriting. I hope this isn't his back up plan...

I'm really doubting that retirement will suit him anyway. He's constantly working on something and he's taking about sitting watching films...i can't see it. He isn't lazy enough.

I retired at 56 but in order to do so I had to carefully plan to make sure I'd have enough funds to last me the rest of my life. From 56 to 60 I used drawdown on my second pension which had £90k. When I reached 60 I bought an annuity with what was left. It is for £528 pcm. Plus I got my teachers pension at 60, which is £900 pcm. I also have 10 btl houses so get a passive income. At 67 I will get my state pension and our mortgage is paid off. DH still works and has a much better pension than me and if he works until he's 64 he will get £40k per annum pension plus he has about £25 in his second pension he could do aw down if he wanted to retire at 63. He will also get full state pension. He also has his own 2 btl properties. He won't stop working until he's 63 or 64 because he said no point being retired if we can't both afford to enjoy ourselves and go on lots of travel. We also need to be able to support our Foster Son who has SEN and will need some kind of life long support. We have helped my DC to buy a house with generous deposits and we'll do the same for Foster Son if he can manage to live alone. We have got a couple of holiday homes in France and we could also sell these if we needed to release cash. It does not sound like your DH is in any position to retire early especially with a SEN DC who you believe will need care after 18 and a second DC who you will need to support through uni.

Relatable 😂

Our mortgage will be paid off by then. We have a second mortgaged property which brings some additional income. Oh is likely being made redundant in January which should bring in enough to pay off a big chunk of our mortgage
whilst getting their business
Well you'll likely be ok. You're in a better position than many. To be honest if you've only done contract work for years hence no pension and are now looking to become self-employed then he must have been subsidising that. Most contract work nowadays comes with a pension so you must have been dipping in and out of work.

Given all the above I dont see why he can't retire. Nobody's going to live forever and you cant guatantee comfort in old age either so, what odds the best laid plans anyway. At least he can be more hands on with caring for the DCs. & you could get a full-time time job with pension, whilst your business is getting off the ground. Plenty of people work full-time in the set-up stages

When you say 35 years do you mean he only has a state pension?

I think you need to focus on how much you can earn. If he takes a step back and retires then he needs to step up with childcare and housework. He is probably used to you doing everything whilst he works and earns. He needs to understand that you will need to start prioritising making a living for yourself and your kids especially if there is an age gap. My partner retired earlier than I wanted. We also have a significant age gap. He contributes much less and we still have high mortgage costs. I disagreed but ultimately he did it. I work full time and focus on being able to support myself. I would advise you to do the same. I also expect and insist that he deals with more childcare than he used to. In my view he doesn't do enough but I do make sure that I prioritise my job as this is paying the bills and contributing to my pension.

caringcarer
I have heard of tone deaf posts before but yours is on another level. How is your situation in any way similar to the OPs?

I'm just pointing out it sounds from OP post her DH is in no position to retire early. He needs to be building up finances before he retires.