Anyone up? Need to talk please

[CompanyPlease]

Hi, not really sure what i want to achieve here but having a relatively new 17 yo driver DS having the police knock the door at nearly 2am is the most sickening feeling in the world.

They wouldn't tell me at first whether he was OK but after many questions they said him/some people have been involved in an incident and they are searching for his car. I called him and he was giving some friends a lift and they asked him to stop at a house and then they got out, then came out and he dropped them home. I called him and he had no clue why I was calling, but I explained that basically armed police were going to get him as apparently an assault with a weapon has taken place somewhere and his vehicle was named.

I am absolutely certain that he has noclue but he was terrified when armed police cuffed him, I was on the phone when he was saying 'ow ow'.

I now have to wait for them to either bring him home or arrest him. Could be hours.

Just need some company I think

The other boys are now threatening DS, saying he is a snitch etc. He is distruaght and very worried for his safety. Whilst he has told the police everything he knows, which is basically they drove from X to Y and that he was with his friend who he only knows the first name of, this was also on his phone calls anyway, nothing happened as far as DS is aware, plus his maps show the location of where he picked them up, DS doesn't actually know his address as its flats.

Its all so worrying, we now have to worry about DSs safety from these boys.

This is what I was afraid would happen. Make sure you, your DH, and family are totally united to protect him. Really important that you continue to monitor all comms on his behalf.

@SleepPrettyDarling yes we are, he is sat with me when he's spoken to them. It's awful though. The boys are saying they have done nothing wrong so then they have nothing to be worried about. They are saying he should have fled basically but he quite rightly said that if he did that then they would look guilty so by him complying they have let him go which suggests they don't think they have any reason to arrest him.

I am still waiting for a call back from the police, I am pissed off as it was deemed serious enough to turn up at my home with 2 armed officers at 2am then 8 armed officers restrained a lone 17 yo in the street but not serious enough to call me back about it.

DS is worried that the police will play recordings of conversations to his friends. He said he didn't say anything that they didn't have on his phone anyway but obviously he did answer their questions and the boys are saying he shouldn't have said anything at all about them.

They were following the car so they would have caught up with him at home if not there

I am still angry with the police who turned up at your door and didn’t answer you immediately to let you know it was ok, your son was alive.

@Username6445 yes me too, I kept asking and he just said you need to answer my questions. The first question they asked was about the car being ours and who was driving, they could have told me directly after me clarifying that. I keep having flashbacks of that feeling when I opened the door to them.

They’re fucking bastards for doing that to you

I won't disagree there! And now we are left in limbo, wondering when they will contact me and also now whether DS is safe to leave the house and see his friends. I just cannot believe this is happening. It is so far from our life it's unreal.

It’s every mum’s nightmare. I mean, when school calls you they tend to start with ‘don’t worry, DC is fine…’ and that’s because they KNOW you’ll panic. And that’s nowhere near the panic of a 2am bang on the door from the police. The absolute fuckers for doing that to you totally unnecessarily.

@Username6445 absolutely, DS2 has had 2 serious injuries at school also and they still manage to get the words out as quickly as possible to make sure we know whats happening. I feel so sad for DS, he really is a lovely kid, hard worker, his main group of friends are so lovely and I am fuming that these other kids have taken advantage of his good nature for whatever it was they were up to, and now have the nerve to threaten him.

I’m wishing you all the best. My eldest is approaching this age, could happen to any of them. I feel sure it’ll turn out alright in the end and you have some great advice on here but shitting hell, what an ordeal for you both right now.

Thank you for your lovely words, it has helped so much posting on here, it's very lonely in these situations.

Hope you are eating humble pie now

@potatoheads the comment was bizarre wasn't it especially as I had given the nature of the alleged offence in the OP anyway. Oh well, people can be nasty online but luckily most people were really supportive and helpful.

For anyone interested, police came round again today. Asked DS what happened again, he told them what he told them the other night.

They made it clear they weren't questioning him but said they felt there were gaps, in particular that he only knew one of the people (the other 2 were DSs friend's mates) they said surely they said their names. He said no they didn't. The officer tried to say that's unusual, whereas I disagree, 17 yo boys can be weird like that, DS doesn't even know what course one of his closest friends does at college, they don't talk about it apparently. Obv adults would do proper introductions, in fact my 15 yo DS would too but that's how it is.

Anyway, they told DS to get better friends and not to let anyone in his car he doesn't know well, that his car is now marked so he's likely to get pulled over lots (frustrating as he's a musician so finishes work after midnight often) but that they are unlikely to speak to him again about this. They wouldn't tell us anything else about the investigation.

They also checked DSs phone for messages, there was a message we knew about on there that DS sent after the other boy was calling him a snitch that just said 'I only told him the truth that nothing happened as far as I knew, that I only knew your first name (police knew that from the contact name of the phone call) and only knew the road I picked you up on but wasn't sure if that was your road or not and that it was all flats anyway' the other boy said don't stress ill call u later. Which he hasn't.

DS is terrified that these boys will come after him, he thinks if anything has actually happened then they will blame him but he hasn't actually said anything as he doesn't know anything. I don't think there is anything we can do about that though, literally just hope they didn't actually do anything physical to anyone, that they believe DS (not sure how they can't believe him as they know he doesn't know any more than he's saying) and that it all goes away.

Thank you for your support on this thread, it really helped as I don't want to talk to people in RL as they will just worry about it.

Did the police say anything about the text message threats?

@CompanyPlease is it worth getting rid of the car. Or trading it in for another car.

I said this today but DH said let's not do anything on a whim, give it a couple of weeks to all settle down. DS made me drive him to the gym as he was too nervous to drive his car bless him.

@DaisyMaisyFaisy DS wouldn't tell them, he felt it would make things worse but I have said any more then we need to. They have only so far just said he shouldn't have said anything and shouldn't have snitched. So not threatened to do anything as such but they are still threatening messages IYKWIM. He is really worried though.