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Original poster

I've never felt more middle-aged

80 replies

IHeartKingThistle · 26/10/2023 22:13

I'm having a little cry in the bath because my teenagers (though lovely) don't want to spend time with me in half term any more and now my varifocals are steamed up.

I'm old now, right?!

OP posts:
IsoIsobaby20 · 27/10/2023 06:36

Honestly you'll get used to it and you've done a great job as this is what teenagers are supposed to do. They're finding their own pack and if they have a nice group of friends or are perfectly happy on their own and not too dependent then that's great -for them.

Although I also hear you! Mine do sports and the only time they spend with me is me dropping them and ferrying them in the car when we listen to their music!

Enjoy it though and find time for you - or get a dog! I've got two now and they never get sick of me Grin

pilates · 27/10/2023 06:40

Op, turn this into a positive and more time for you. Maybe a new hobby, more time to socialise with your friends or watch a box set on Netflix.

DinosApple · 27/10/2023 07:03

I felt old yesterday when I couldn't get the sound to come out of my plug in ear phones, assumed it was something to do with settings, got bored of trying and called my teen to help me. She gave them a hefty shove so they actually plugged properly in and laughed. I am now my mother.

Gingerwarthog · 27/10/2023 07:17

I feel old too. Used to take DD out running and had to encourage her, wait at the top of hills, stop and walk etc. Now she's 17 and I have to ask her to slow down and wait for me.
Rather than leap out of bed to go swimming I now prefer lying in with my DH and Dcats, reading.
My menopausal body seems beyond my control with mystery tit ache, UTIs and weight gain (even when I cut carbs and don't drink, eat cake etc). All in all - a weird combination of feeling older but also like I did even going through puberty (out of control body and feeling a bit crap at sport).

TheseLegsDefinitelyUsedToBeLonger · 27/10/2023 07:31

theduchessofspork · 26/10/2023 22:16

You are in your Prime

A Queenager

Consider contacts

Queenager should ABSOLUTELY be in the dictionary pronto.

Dogsitterwoes · 27/10/2023 07:41

I'm late 50s and this year it's started for the first time when I'm on public transport.
Twice someone's stood up and offered me their seat on the tube.
I must look like shit.

lucette1001 · 27/10/2023 08:16

I read somewhere (Khalil Gibran?) that the parents are the bow and children are the arrows. A lovely analogy. As pps have said, it's your job to let them go. They'll always love you though, in their own way.

pilates · 27/10/2023 08:47

Love Queenager ❤️

IceCreamSundaeCat · 27/10/2023 09:44

LynneLynne · 27/10/2023 01:04

Your poor mum. How old was she?

This is my worst nightmare.

Show quote history

She was approx 70 at the time - we have very different physiques and I was worried that we'd both go flying if I'd attempted to haul her out.

She was screaming at me if I suggested getting someone local to help and I couldn't leave her in the bath all day so in the end I had no choice but to call the fire brigade. Worked out well in the end, she perked up tremendously at having 2 hunky firemen put a board across the bath and lift her out safely.

This happened again in a park! I spoke quite a lot about a local park which I loved visiting and she insisted on following me there, then she had a tumble. She wouldn't let me run down and grab someone for assistance, luckily no fire brigade that time but it did take about half hour to get her up again and I was in tears by that point.

PhoenixIsFlying · 27/10/2023 10:04

Be happy that you have done such a brilliant job of mothering that they feel happy and confident to become independent individuals.

You get a little time to enjoy interests of your own before the grandchildren arrive 😀

Bookist · 27/10/2023 11:34

Bribery works very well. Our DCs were generally amenable to spending time with us if a posh brunch somewhere was in the offing. Or they'd happily come for a browse around town so long as we swung by Urban Outfitters and they got to choose a treat.

Whitepeacelily · 27/10/2023 12:06

Ladyj84 · 26/10/2023 22:24

Luckily our teens adore doing family things so lucky I guess tho the whole extended family real close aswell

No need to try to make the OP feel worse. Maybe your teens are not yet at the stage, where friends are more important. Maybe they don't have a wide circle of friends, maybe they are shy. Maybe the OP and all the other PPs have raised their children to be independent. Really hard to tell from your post but it feels quite gloaty and unhelpful.

Lentilweaver · 27/10/2023 12:16

DinosApple · 27/10/2023 07:03

I felt old yesterday when I couldn't get the sound to come out of my plug in ear phones, assumed it was something to do with settings, got bored of trying and called my teen to help me. She gave them a hefty shove so they actually plugged properly in and laughed. I am now my mother.

DS thinks I am thick as mince because I am always asking for his tech support. Honestly am not that bad; it's just that he sees me at my worst.

MothershipG · 27/10/2023 12:53

At this age I find many teenagers switch to the pay per view mode, offer to take them somewhere & spend money and they couldn't move fast enough, otherwise tumbleweed....

Ozgirl75 · 27/10/2023 13:22

Mine are at somewhat of a sweet spot age at the moment 13 and 11 where they like my company, but not ALL the time.
Plus we watched a film “The Adam Project” one rainy afternoon this week and after that they both, unexpectedly, flung themselves at me on the sofa, gave me crushing hugs and said they loved me, so that was an absolute win!
But consider it a job well done if they want to spend time with their friends - our job is to give them wings and encourage them to use them. However, we went to Italy and now my eldest is already talking about planning a gap year in 4 years time so that’s a horribly scary thought.

incognito50me · 27/10/2023 14:16

"The pay per view mode", I love this! 😂@MothershipG

Devilsmommy · 27/10/2023 14:39

notacooldad · 26/10/2023 22:46

Just remember that they have to away to come back. They will.

That's lovely ☺️

daffodilandtulip · 27/10/2023 19:17

I felt like this last year and cried so much. Now I'm really quite enjoying it. And I still get some quality time when they fancy a coffee/meal out/takeaway (yes, it is mostly calorie related). It's just different. You'll find your space.

Rockbird · 27/10/2023 19:23

Feeling shit and old too at the moment. Had an argument (not unusual) with my 15yo last night who gave me a lecture on music last night when I expressed an interest in seeing Beyoncé's concert at the cinema in December. Apparently I'm jumping on a bandwagon because I've never mentioned being a fan before and don't know anything about music. I'm 52 and bought my first 7" at 7 and went to my first concert at 8. She can fuck right off with that.

I know she's just being a teenager but I feel so old and irrelevant. Like I dont have a place in anyone's life any more.

Original poster
IHeartKingThistle · 27/10/2023 19:33

Pay per view is amazing. You lot are so kind x

OP posts:
Crikeyalmighty · 27/10/2023 19:35

Wait till they are an age where you can bribe them with the odd free holiday/nice meal out-

SiennaSienna · 27/10/2023 19:55

Well, my 10 yo read the Roald Dahl story "The Landlady" this week. I remember reading this when I was a kid and remembered distinctly there was a very old lady who killed the young student. Anyway, I've just re-read it and turns out the very old lady is actually described as 45 years old. Like me. ugh.

Original poster
IHeartKingThistle · 27/10/2023 20:05

Omg I teach this story every year and in recent years I've been saying to them 'don't you dare picture an old lady in your head now!'

OP posts:
Bookist · 27/10/2023 20:11

I know she's just being a teenager but I feel so old and irrelevant. Like I dont have a place in anyone's life any more.

Yes you do. You are the fabulous leading lady in your own life x

IdealisticCynic · 27/10/2023 20:21

Ladyj84 · 26/10/2023 22:24

Luckily our teens adore doing family things so lucky I guess tho the whole extended family real close aswell

The OP said she was having a little cry over her teens not spending time with her. Why would you write such a smug and insensitive comment in response?

I honestly don’t understand some people.