Help me figure out my finances as a solo mum

[HelpMeSoloMum]

I have just gone back to work after being on maternity leave for 6m. I earn reasonably well and my take home after tax and student loan is just over £3500. I do not get any child benefit, universal credit or child maintenance(baby’s father lives abroad, is not involved).

I am trying to figure out how I can afford to live which feels ridiculous on a decent salary. Until now I’ve been fortunate enough to live with my mum on Mat leave and have sold my city centre home to be closer to her.

mortgage - £1500 (this will get me a 3 bed house, I do really need 3 beds for a home office to wfh)
nursery - £800
car - £? I need to buy and insure a car. I was thinking Cinch or Cazoo and get a fiat 500 or Toyota aygo for about £120pcm if the car seat and stroller fit in? Plus insurance and running costs…
bills - assume much higher for a hiuse than my 1 bed flat was…
travel to work - £250pcm to get the train to my office a few days a week

what are common areas people cut back on? Am I missing something? It feels so unfair that if I were in a couple with a higher personal allowance I’d get child benefit and be better off each month anyway plus have a second adult around 😭

I would cut back on the extra bedroom and wfh setting up a desk in a corner of another room. I know it wouldn't be your preference, but it would reduce your mortgage.

Can you manage without a car for a few years? Sorry no idea of how realistic that is.

I agree on a two bed, and do you really need a car ?

Do you really need a home office? I wfh most of the time and I don't have an office, I just have a set up in the corner of the dining room. I'm also a single mum and there's no way I'd fork out for an extra bedroom just for an office.

I was in the same position. I agree with pp's - two bed is enough, desk in living room/bedroom for the days you work from home. Car isn't essential if you live near the station, a park and your mum.

If you stretch yourself to the limit with mortgage and car repayments you'll end up living on a very tight weekly budget, and that's a constant stress and sucks the joy out of life. Also leaves you with no option to cut your hours at work if full time is too difficult, or take some unpaid leave if you need if your baby is sick a lot etc.

You can get a car when your daughter gets free childcare hours/starts school, as your childcare costs will drop. The first few years are difficult due to childcare, but it gets easier.

That's a huge mortgage for a single person, could you even get that on your salary? I can understand prioritising location if you want to be near family support so that may account for the high cost, but I don't see how you will manage financially. Is there any way to buy something smaller with potential for a garden office, a hallway nook office, or to extend in future?

If you are getting a train to work is the car essential? Appreciate it may be for logistical reasons for nursery depending on your location as you mention moving out of the city centre.

Rail card or car.
2 bed home..

It feels so unfair that if I were in a couple with a higher personal allowance I’d get child benefit

What is your salary? Surely, if you don’t get child benefit now because you earn too much, you’d still earn too much to get it if you had a partner?

I think you really don’t need a separate bedroom for a home office and you probably don’t need a car-can you find something suitable near a nursery/childminder?

If you need a private space to work from home I had something similar to this in my bedroom until recently, everything folds away out of sight and feels like a piece of normal furniture when not in use.

Have you actually had a quote of £800 for nursery? That seems incredibly low. Make sure you take advantage of tax free options for paying for childcare.

Agree re 2 bed home. Loads of other options for WFH and that would be a significant saving on mortgage costs.

I have a secretary desk (folds up) in the corner of the living room.

Or if you have a garden you could get the smallest, cheapest hully pod (look em up)

Is there a car club where you live? Might be cheaper for occasional use.

Does your work offer interest free loans for travel passes? Though have to balance use of a travel pass with WFH might not be economical anymore.

Only reason a 3 bed might be good is it would let you have a lodger if finances got tight but that's really a last resort when a single mum with a baby.

It feels so unfair that if I were in a couple with a higher personal allowance I’d get child benefit

It doesn't matter if you are in a couple if your salary alone already stops you getting child benefit. That's based on a single salary.

If you can get your net after pension payments down to less than £50,000 you'll still qualify for child benefit.

Agreed re home office. I know it's not ideal, but your bedroom could be your office (or you can share with baby until age 4-5, unless you have an older child as well, of course). I have a raised, platform bed with my desk, shelves, chair and drawers for files, etc. underneath. I do Zoom meetings in my kitchen, though admittedly my child's 10 now, so it's easier to keep the kitchen clear.

Another possibility might be a 2 bed with an extra reception room.

I was also going to ask about nursery. I paid nearly £950 for 3 days a week 3 years ago so is that the actual price?! Very reasonable if it is.

1500 does seem alot for a single person. We pay 890 a month for a 4 bed (although obviously don't know where you are in the country) could you move slightly further out of the city?

Can you live somewhere where you can manage without a car? If you're commuting to work by train, if you lived somewhere with a car club, that might work out a little cheaper than finance and running costs of a car.

However, if you do go ahead with a car, consider one that's pre April 2017 (double check this) as the tax is £30 per year at most, whereas the same cars after this date are £180, so an easy £15 a month saving.

Definitely also consider a 2 bed if it makes a noticeable difference during the 'childcare years'. You could have LO in with you if you want a separate home office. Even look at whether renting might be cheaper now mortgages are more expensive. Look at council tax costs and energy efficiency ratings before committing to anything, as a couple of hundred pounds a month lower essential costs will make a big difference to how comfortable your finances are.

Will you be entitled to tax free childcare?

You don’t need a 3 bed, a 2 bed will be fine and set up a corner for your office. Check nursery costs, £800 seems low unless you are getting help from family?

To answer a few Qs - the nursery is cheap because my mum has baby 1 day pw and my sister 1 day pw. I have my niece 1 day pw and work compressed hours.

I really need a car as I have to drive to the station and I’m in a village/town with very limited facilities - eg no big supermarket.
I’ve managed without on Mat leave and it has been grim tbh.

ideally I would have a separate office as I deal with very sensitive info at work. I guess this might have to go but there’s very few 2 beds locally.

ideally I would have a separate office as I deal with very sensitive info at work.

But there’s nobody else living in your house as your child will be at childcare, so who would hear?!

I'd sacrifice the third bedroom, surely you'll be alone when WFH so can use the child's bedroom or living room. I'd definitely look at income protection, consider the worse case scenario if you couldn't work.

I’m in a village/town with very limited facilities-eg no big supermarket

Online food shop?

If you are the only adult and the other person in your house is a child (so will be in childcare or school/wrap around care during working hours) why would a separate room matter for sensitive business?

You'd be spending close to £3k on essentials given your breakdown, that doesn't leave much buffer for saving, car repairs, house repairs and non essentials. I'd be looking to reduce the mortgage payment as much as possible, even if it means buying a small flat for now.

I've seen mini desk/office areas set up under the stairs in hallways. It's a great use of space. You could always knock this out if it's an existing storage area, it would be much cheaper than forking out for an extra room on your mortgage. I've attached a pic of what I'm trying to describe.

I’d look at 2-bed flats near the station rather than a house and go without the car.

Could you live closer to work so you don't need to pay so much for the train? I think with a baby a car is really convenient and it will cost less than your monthly train costs, obviously depending on how much you spend on fuel.

I agree with downsizing to a 2 bed. I WFH and have my laptop set up on the dining table. Also not sure where you're located but we're under £1000 a month for a large detached 4 bed. Are there maybe cheaper areas you'd be happy to live in?

I agree re. the child benefit cut off. The threshold should be for the household not an individual salary.

Agree with others- get a 2 bed and cut down your mortgage. Move when you don't have high nursery fees and you have that money freed up.

OP I really think you need to look at a more manageable mortgage, can you really borrow that much against your salary? That is a huge sum for a single parent also paying nursery bills.