Help me figure out my finances as a solo mum

[HelpMeSoloMum]

I have just gone back to work after being on maternity leave for 6m. I earn reasonably well and my take home after tax and student loan is just over £3500. I do not get any child benefit, universal credit or child maintenance(baby’s father lives abroad, is not involved).

I am trying to figure out how I can afford to live which feels ridiculous on a decent salary. Until now I’ve been fortunate enough to live with my mum on Mat leave and have sold my city centre home to be closer to her.

mortgage - £1500 (this will get me a 3 bed house, I do really need 3 beds for a home office to wfh)
nursery - £800
car - £? I need to buy and insure a car. I was thinking Cinch or Cazoo and get a fiat 500 or Toyota aygo for about £120pcm if the car seat and stroller fit in? Plus insurance and running costs…
bills - assume much higher for a hiuse than my 1 bed flat was…
travel to work - £250pcm to get the train to my office a few days a week

what are common areas people cut back on? Am I missing something? It feels so unfair that if I were in a couple with a higher personal allowance I’d get child benefit and be better off each month anyway plus have a second adult around 😭

You'd be mad to spend that much on a mortgage as a single parent! I'm a single Mum and mine is under £800, a similar income to yourself and the cost of living has hit hard. I also wfh with sensitive info... at the dining table. All four bedrooms have myself or a child in and no room for a desk. Try to make things easy for yourself. Even with childcare planned sometimes things happen that can have an effect on your finances. Recently I had to cut a day at work due to an issue with my child, that's £400 a month after tax, our utilities basically.

You asked what people cut down on and they've told you, most single parents have to make sacrifices. For you it's likely to be the separate office and car for now - it doesn't have to be forever. If you don't have good public transport where you are moving to and good facilities then perhaps it isn't the place for you.

Personally as your child is still tiny I'd be looking at one bedrooms and looking to move and upsize when they are five so they can have their own space, when your nursery fees have decreased and your income from work may increase following promotion.

As a single parent you want to keep your outgoings as low as possible and keep it at a level you could afford if you were on long term sick/injured as you only have your income to rely on, or take out some sort of insurance that can cover it.

Do not buy a car on finance from the garage see about getting a loan elsewhere with better rates.

You do not need a third bedroom.

I disagree with deprioritising car, she is living rurally and will be a single parent, that is likely a necessity. Her salary is sufficient she doesn't need to sacrifice a car, she's not talking about a gas guzzling SUV or sports car. It's the mortgage that is likely unrealistic to her income.

I know you will be earning a 'good' salary but do check if you'd qualify for UC - the bar is actually really high if you're paying a chunk of childcare.

But your bedroom would be a private space, as would the reception/dining room? Hard if there aren't many two beds locally, though.