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Original poster

WWYD? Interview time doesn’t work for me

60 replies

Fraler93 · 25/10/2023 12:00

so I’ve been a sahm mum for 6 years. I recently started a part time work from home job but I’m now looking to get a better full time job. I applied for a role which is a very good opportunity for me, did the virtual interview and to my surprise I’ve got through to the face to face interview stage.

On Monday I received a message asking me to come for the interview at 4pm Wednesday (today), so not even 48hrs notice. I haven’t told them I have kids yet but I said I’m working till 5pm so couldn’t make that time and asked if they had a different day. I said this as I didn’t have any childcare for the dc, it’s half term and dp would have been working. In all honesty I haven’t told dp or anyone as I don’t want anyone to know incase I don’t get the job.

they said they may be able to do Tuesday or Wednesday next week. I said perfect, as dc will be back in school so won’t have to worry about childcare etc. they have just messaged to tell me they can do Tuesday at 4pm. I JUST realised that is Halloween and I have plans with the dc, just like a Christmas tradition we do trick or treating and Halloween stuff on that day every year. If it was earlier I would 100% have no issue, but 4-5pm? The dc will be home and I won’t be able to do our plans with them.

im really not sure what to do, I really want to do the interview and the job (even though I’m sure I wouldn’t get it) but I can’t ask them for a different day as I said Tuesday and Wednesday work great for me…

what would you do? Am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
404usernotfound · 25/10/2023 12:26

Based on your update I really think you need to discuss with your DH how you are both going to make a new job work.

I am a bit startled by you saying “He has also never had this much responsibility with the dc”. Picking them up from school and taking them to a club an hour later us really not normally a lot to ask of a parent.

TitusMoan · 25/10/2023 12:26

Sounds like your DH needs to reskill into looking after his own kids.

Why wouldn’t you discuss a job interview with your DH? It’s a partnership, not an episode of Eastenders 🙄

Darknight5 · 25/10/2023 12:32

4pm is the afternoon! It’s working day not a school day. I honestly would tell your DP about the interview, if he’s supportive he will help you make it work. If he’s not then that says a lot about him and what it will be like if you get the job.

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Jobs
AgaMM · 25/10/2023 12:39

You are being somewhat entitled tbh.

Inviting you to a same day interview is unreasonable of them, but then you wanting to rearrange because it clashes with your Halloween plans is not a sign of someone who actually wants the job.

Get your partner to parent and push your plans back by an hour - it’s really that simple.

EmmaEmerald · 25/10/2023 12:43

Sorry OP I forgot you were SAHM for 6 years so clearly you aren't 19

But I'm honestly baffled by your statements.

LikeRobbieSays · 25/10/2023 12:47

Yes you are being unreasonable!
Have your interview, then go out trick or treating. Explain to the kids they will have to wait or get someone else to take them.

Original poster
Fraler93 · 25/10/2023 12:49

I am late 20s but had dc early 20s fresh out of uni and had only worked part time jobs before then. So no ‘real’ full time work experience.

I honestly agree that I sound entitled. I don’t think my issue is specifically with the Halloween plans, it’s more the case that I won’t be there to do everything I usually do. It’s always my responsibility with the dc so im feeling anxious at the thought of that changing slightly.

I have responded to them and will be going to the interview. I will tell dp that he has to deal with the dc and I’ll have to meet them after. He will have to step up and I will have to let go for a while.

OP posts:
Invisimamma · 25/10/2023 12:54

Fraler93 · 25/10/2023 12:15

Hi everyone. I do agree with you all. I know I can’t ask them to change it again and I know I need to go out of my way, it’s a hybrid role with 3 days in office and 2wfh. I’m already weary of the challenges of that, as I’ll have to resort to breakfast/after school clubs but it’s 9-5 so Definitley do-able.

we have a club booked for the dc at 4-5pm that day which I would be taking them to and then all the Halloween fun straight after. Dp has actually taken the evening off (which rarely happens) so we were going to do our little traditions together. It would mean he’d actually have to pick the dc up from school, get them changed/sorted, take them to the club alone and then I’d somehow meet them after (I’ll be taking the train to the interview).

I'm sure your dp will manage. He is their parent after all. You're going to have to get used to it if you get a full time job. This is the kind of thing what working parents juggle all the time.

CountryStore · 25/10/2023 12:54

Good luck op! Hope you get the job!!

Singleandproud · 25/10/2023 12:54

Are you prepared to miss Nativity plays, sports days and all the other things scheduled in the middle of the working day?

Will your DH take time off to cover sickness when needed?

If you can manage on one income (or 1 and the part-time role you currently hold) would you rather stay as you are, get some experience back in the workplace, boost your confidence a bit, perhaps reskill and then go full time when DC are at secondary.

Obviously if the CoL crisis (or your personal goals) mean you really do need to go back to work full-time now then just do it. Apart from Trick or Treating any other Halloween traditions can be carried out the night before or after.

SaltyGod · 25/10/2023 12:55

It sounds as if you’re trying to find a reason to not go.

4pm is core business hours.

If you wanted to go, and wanted the job, you’d find a way to make it work.

CandyCane75 · 25/10/2023 12:55

YABU. Your job must take priority over trick or treating really. DP will need to take charge until you can get home.

404usernotfound · 25/10/2023 12:57

Singleandproud · 25/10/2023 12:54

Are you prepared to miss Nativity plays, sports days and all the other things scheduled in the middle of the working day?

Will your DH take time off to cover sickness when needed?

If you can manage on one income (or 1 and the part-time role you currently hold) would you rather stay as you are, get some experience back in the workplace, boost your confidence a bit, perhaps reskill and then go full time when DC are at secondary.

Obviously if the CoL crisis (or your personal goals) mean you really do need to go back to work full-time now then just do it. Apart from Trick or Treating any other Halloween traditions can be carried out the night before or after.

I have always worked full time and never had to miss a nativity play. It depends very much on the job and circumstances.

Deathbyfluffy · 25/10/2023 13:00

Constantly re-scheduling isn't going to make a good impression - it doesn't sound like you're trying overly-hard to make this work.
When my DW had an interview half-way across the country, I put down what I was doing and looked after DC - your husband will be fine.

You need to make them feel like you're going out of your way to get the job, not letting your life get in the way of it.

Pinkdelight3 · 25/10/2023 13:02

Tell DP, let him sort the kids that day, and go to the interview. It's madness not to tell your DP and there's no need to be embarrassed about not getting a job. Your DP should be completely capable of managing the kids and if he isn't, now's his chance to manage it. You can also manage getting yourself to/from the interview. It sounds like you need to do this to get out of this frightened spot you're in, where you're not telling people thing and having all these fears. 4pm is a totally normal time to do an interview and your 'little traditions' can be a bit more flexible. Good luck with the interview and don't hold yourself back.

Limth · 25/10/2023 13:07

I don’t think my issue is specifically with the Halloween plans, it’s more the case that I won’t be there to do everything I usually do. It’s always my responsibility with the dc so im feeling anxious at the thought of that changing slightly.

What exact disasters do you think will befall your DC during the 90 minutes they're being parented by their other parent?

Your DP needs to step the fuck up. Not just with next Tuesday evening but in general.

Limth · 25/10/2023 13:08

TitusMoan · 25/10/2023 12:26

Sounds like your DH needs to reskill into looking after his own kids.

Why wouldn’t you discuss a job interview with your DH? It’s a partnership, not an episode of Eastenders 🙄

The comment about Eastenders really made me laugh out loud.

Original poster
Fraler93 · 25/10/2023 13:08

Thank you everyone for your replies.

I definitely need to get out of this ‘frightened spot’ and push myself out of my comfort zone. I really do want the job I am just nervous about the changes and how to juggle being a mum and working and the home etc. it’s something many parents do so I need to just get on with it.

im also going to sit with dp and talk to him about it and about the practicalities of me working full time. It scares me the thought of not being at the dcs assemblies, plays, events etc and only having limited time with them and they’ll have to go into clubs for the holidays etc. it’s something we need to have a chat about.

OP posts:
Ifyoulikealotofchocolateonyourbiscuit · 25/10/2023 13:17

If your dh is not at work, he will be able to pick the kids up and take them to their club. That really shouldn’t be difficult for him.

Good luck op, I hope you get it

Jethia · 25/10/2023 13:24

If your going for a job that's full time then your DP will have to share the load, taking turns at breakfast club drop off or after school care pick up. Likewise carers leave when DC is sick. You won't be doing all this yourself and you both need to accept that and plan for it.

It actually sounds like you'd be better suited to part time work at the moment.. But it's difficult to get a "quality" part time job unless you're employed there already and decrease hours following maternity leave.

Mrsjayy · 25/10/2023 13:28

You have asked them to change it because it didn't suit they changed it and that doesn't suit ! Do you want the job or not because you will have more kids stuff coming up and then you might want a Tuesday afternoon to go or whatever. Halloween isn't a reason not to go for interview.

Pinkdelight3 · 25/10/2023 14:01

It irks me that a mum (who wants to work) is 'better suited to part-time work' when the dad is enabled to work all the hours god sends. There will only be a better balance in a relationship and in society overall if we step up, have the conversations and make it happen. The DP can parent his kids more and the OP can stop feeling guilty for doing less. She'll only get more fearful and less confident if this goes on longer by the sounds of it. Good if she sorts it now.

BitofaStramash · 25/10/2023 14:02

The you need to prioritise the interview.

Changing it once is fine. Changing it twice is taking the piss.

UnevenBalance · 25/10/2023 14:09

Fraler93 · 25/10/2023 13:08

Thank you everyone for your replies.

I definitely need to get out of this ‘frightened spot’ and push myself out of my comfort zone. I really do want the job I am just nervous about the changes and how to juggle being a mum and working and the home etc. it’s something many parents do so I need to just get on with it.

im also going to sit with dp and talk to him about it and about the practicalities of me working full time. It scares me the thought of not being at the dcs assemblies, plays, events etc and only having limited time with them and they’ll have to go into clubs for the holidays etc. it’s something we need to have a chat about.

You might want to add a discussion in how his role will change too.

Fwiw I think you REALLY need to go back to work. It is frightening yes.
But So us finding yourself Wo a job, unable to make ends meet, children to take care off and no support from your DH (which could be from ill health, divorce, death, being made redundant etc etc)

So is finding yourself Wo a decent pension too (similar reasons than above bar the ill health)

dapsnotplimsolls · 25/10/2023 14:41

Glad you've decided to make it work. Hopefully, if you get the job, your partner will no longer need to work 7 days a week - why on earth is he doing that?